


The Right to Choose

by DramaticPause



Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, M/M, Mpreg, Sci-Fi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-17
Updated: 2011-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-12 18:16:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 83,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticPause/pseuds/DramaticPause
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with the choice being taken away but then another set of choices present themselves. What will he decide and why? Does he have the right to? Who will ask him to make different choices?  Who will stay with him through it all?  Basically - and be warned - this is an excuse to do a K/Z mpreg story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Rare Commodity

Chapter 1: A Rare Commodity

DR. EDWARD KRANE looked up from his case file as the door burst open and his colleague – albeit in private practice for a huge Global company - Dr. Albert Rosenberg, barged in and closed the door, just before demanding he "blank" the windows on his glorified cubicle.

"What's this about?" Dr. Krane asked wearily, rocking back in his chair and rubbing his eyes tiredly. His friend was way too excitable and passionate about his job. He sometimes came to consult with him over some "poor girl with lymphoma" or "senior engineer with metastasized prostate cancer", usually needing someone else to reassure him that he'd done everything he could. Dr. Krane prepared himself to view a scan of some poor unfortunate but terminal patient, hear the twenty minutes or so of case history and theory before giving the sad shake of his head and ordering some alcohol from the automatic wait service. His friend was still old enough to remember before the nuclear attacks, when cancer wasn't as commonplace as it was now. He still felt he needed to do something despite the hopelessness of it all, as if they didn't have bigger things to worry about...

Dr. Rosenberg opened his mouth to explain but closed it as if deciding against it. He raised his finger as if to say "wait" and removed a colourless data stick from pocket. He walked to where the other doctor sat and pushed it into the desk slot then stepped back to watch his colleague's face. Dr. Krane tried to look interested and stifled a yawn, all while going over his patient list in his head... but perked up about four seconds later.

"Is that... Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes! Yes! But that's not all! Look at the bio-report..."

"Fuck...!"

Well, it wasn't a medical term but it will do. Dr. Krane's mouth dropped open as he actually saw the readings of a perfectly healthy uterus, complete with unobstructed fallopian tubes. And not only that...

"It's just ovulated! Fuck, Al! Do you know what this means...?"

"It's not that simple. I just wanted to show it to you but you can't say anything..."

"What do you mean I can't...? This woman should... Hell! She has an obligation to start surrogacy right away! Shit...! 

Don't tell me she'd saving herself for the black market...!" A fertile woman could become very wealthy bearing some rich idiot's kid. A completely healthy woman like this could virtually name her price.

"I know the stakes as well as you do, Ed but it's a company employee. I want them to have a chance to decide. But there's more. Look down here, the darkened mass?"  
Dr. Krane tried to concentrate on the screen again even as he was thinking of all the money he could be making from those said rich idiots. Sure the surrogacy program was to benefit humanity as a whole but he would have a say in which humanity. Those being the highest bidders. However, he did take a look...

"The vagina! There's no opening!" There would have to be a bloody catch. "But why?"

"Because, I found this particular specimen inside an individual whose phenotypical characteristics, in all respects, appeared to be male."

"What?"

 

ZERO rolled over in "bed" and glared at the integrated control panel of his "Slumber Tube" hoping the retinal scan will immediately turn off the alarm before he took a hammer to it. Despite the expense of repairing or replacing it, Zero's temper always had other ideas, especially after being up until three in the morning trying to finish the report for his boss.

It's amazing, despite all the advances in technology, one still needed about six hours sleep to stay on an even keel.

Blessedly the alarm did turn off and Zero collapsed back into the blue thermo-gel, placing his head onto white thermo-foam strip. He hoped to doze for another half an hour before his rude appliance realised he was ignoring the alarm – nothing he did could reprogram the damn thing as it was all part the World Governing Body's (WGB for short) edicts on efficient productivity or some crap like that...

Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep.

Zero rolled to his side, away from the incoming call, the thermo-gel sliding away to show one well-toned shoulder – the WGB mandated one hour of gym time each day for continuing health and made each employer oversee it as part of the work day. The tone got louder as he refused to acknowledge the call to consciousness. Instead he tried desperately to resume his dream – one thing the WGB couldn't police - where he was succeeding in talking Bianca Jolie into removing her bikini top so he could apply the official, Board-recommended sunscreen without hindrance..."Zero. Zero you have a call."  
The warm feminine voice, which in the handbook was called "Mother" but still sounded like a porn star on the brink - which he liked actually - waded into Zero's subconscious just as his palm approached a taut nipple. It dissolved resolutely and was replaced by the plastic chamber and Zero's eminent frustration.

"Who is it, Sue?"

"The CEO. Mr. Kuran."

Zero groaned, rolling his face into the strip.

"Tell him, or rather his secretary," as Zero had never seen, spoken to or heard the company's Chief Executive Officer in the three years he'd worked at Global Engineering. It was always his damned secretary. "I'll call him back in twenty minutes."

"The call is labelled urgent, Zero."

"It always is..." Zero grumbled, wishing he could block out the world. He didn't even feel well. Maybe he should call in sick. That was only two months quarantined in a Global Health facility. He was sure it would be restful... Zero sighed, squashing the fantasy, hoping the doctor's blood test did indeed come back negative for any germs. His life was hard enough as it was.

All was blessedly quiet for another thirty seconds before the control panel began to sound again.

"Zero, I did say..."

"Okay, Sue. I do believe I am awake now. Put him through."

The gel darkened for modesty's sake even though Zero was half hoping to give Hanabusa an eye-full. It was six-fifteen for heaven's sake. The approved hours of work were seven-thirty to five-thirty inclusive of the approved lunch and gym sessions. It wasn't like he had to commute as the building was practically self contained. Why on earth was he calling at this hour...?

"Mr. Aidou. What a nice..." He insisted they call him that, and Executive Assistant to the CEO, which they did... to his face.

"Spare me the sarcasm, Mr. Kiriyuu. Did you finish the report?"

"I mailed it to you at two-fifty-three this morning, Mr. Aidou. Do check your spam folder..."

"Very funny, Mr. Kiriyuu." There was some silence for a while as the email was checked and retrieved. Zero began to grind his teeth in fury. Didn't he give enough of his time to this company? Couldn't he read a report without his being there, holding his hand?

"Well, if that's all..." Zero rolled over, fervently hoping the nipple was still there in his subconscious somewhere...

"Not so fast, Mr. Kiriyuu. I did call about another matter. It seems Mr. Kuran is holding interviews for a personal assistant to go with him to oversee a new project in the Amazon desert. I thought you may be interested."

"What? Is the company letting you go?"

"No. I will stay behind to hold down the fort..."

"I see. You know, you are approaching what the WGB deems the 'Optimal Age for Retirement', Mr. Aidou."

"Nonsense. Mr. Kuran assures me this is the best way to handle this situation and I agree with him. I know almost as much about GE as he does."

"Still, did they have you picking out gold watches recently...?"

"Forget it. Maybe I shouldn't have called..."

"Suit yourself." Zero rolled over and made to go back to sleep again. He was getting tired of these intrusions into his life. Was it too much to ask that while he was off duty that he could actually be off duty? Really, The Man was getting him down...

"Mr. Kiriyuu!"

"You're still here..."

"Look, I went out on a limb recommending you to him. Maybe my instincts aren't what they used to be. But please don't put me in the position of having to explain what a prick you are to the boss."

"Fine! I'll go." If only to get some peace. "But we'll just be wasting his time. Souen, Shiki and Kain are much better administrators than I am."

"But you have a certain talent and an eye for detail. It's why I wanted to throw your name into the hat. If you succeed it would mean a higher pay grade, a chance to travel and work closely with Kaname Kuran himself. I thought you would appreciate how he thinks and designs, maybe learn or refine a thing or two..."

"Okay," Zero interrupted, thinking the secretary would go on and on if he didn't. Besides, he was trying to muster some hope for his success. Before he disappeared into operations lore, Kaname Kuran was fairly well known in design circles. Many of GE's factories and office buildings bore his stamp. It could be interesting. "Thank you. Mail me an application form, will you...?"

"Actually, your interview is at seven a.m. Today. I suggest you get up and get dressed."

 

ZERO was ushered into the vast room behind the faux oak panelled sliding door. The small woman with bluish hair that did - rather discretely - frisk him, nodded toward the black Dorchester sofa near the windows before she walked back out the door and closed it behind her. Zero nervously straightened his tie and walked into the room towards the proffered chair, thinking to sit and wait as he was sure the office was empty...

"Mr. Kiriyuu..."

"Yes!"

Zero nearly swallowed his tongue he was so surprised. Apparently there was a partition in front of the desk that made it seem like the view through the windows was continuous from the door, hiding the elusive CEO. Zero was sure he'd had an "accident".

Kaname Kuran smiled tightly but seemed to appraise Zero from head to toe. Zero shifted uncomfortably, wondering if he should say he was flattered but "straight". Instead he found himself running his eyes over the man in return. He wasn't bad looking, was he? Glossy chocolate-brown hair that just touched his shoulders, a dark unfathomable gaze, flawless skin and lips that he really shouldn't be appreciating. Save for a bit of a frown line between his dark eyebrows he seemed quite young. Surprisingly...

"Sit down. Please."

Zero got the distinct impression that the please was belatedly added.

"Thank you. Sir."

Zero moved to sit down on the proffered couch and waited as the CEO – his boss – finished inputting a series of instructions into the desk-sized "e-pad" then commanded it to stand by. The large screen immediately changed to the factory setting of an old fashioned array of books and paper strewn desk complete with a push-button telephone in one corner. Zero thought this was very telling as Kaname Kuran also oversaw software programming aspects of the engineering conglomerate and you would think he could manage to change the scene to interesting scenery or waves crashing or as some people had, an invitingly naked woman or man...

"You don't have very much experience in management." So he immediately came to the point. Zero was taken just a bit aback.

"That may be true but I know how to get the job done and I am very interested in the particular project you are working on..."

"You are?" Zero was again put off by the look of surprise, the dark arched eyebrows showing he was certainly amused by this admission. "What do you think it is?"

"Well... I was told you are doing a project in the Amazon Desert. The radiation levels have been diminished significantly by Global's cleanup operations and I am looking forward to helping to develop that area. It is time we moved on from having that act of terrorism hanging over our heads. It would be a great step forward."

"Indeed."

Zero swallowed nervously as Mr. Kuran leaned back in his chair and simply looked him over. It was an odd thing. Normally interviews had a larger "interview" portion to it, even though most of your information is on the international grid anyway. 

He'd never simply been stared at before, even if his colouring was unique and he could be described as handsome. He was beginning to become uncomfortable and secretly thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have the experience his boss was looking for. Zero was never so relieved as when the CEO finally removed those dark penetrating eyes from his scrutiny of his person, seemingly coming to a decision.

"It will be a long assignment. I want to personally oversee the work in the Amazon and it could take many months. Maybe almost a year. Hence, I will be moving my base of operations to the middle of nowhere. I want someone that will be able to do that and not be crying about a wife or husband or home sickness. He must be in reasonably good health as well. He... or she... will also be sharing quarters with me and will be on hand twenty-four/seven. Needless to say they must be able to work under a considerable amount of pressure: I expect results when I ask for them and I expect them yesterday. This project has to be done on time and under budget and I don't care who I'll have to step on to do it. Do you think you can handle that?"

Zero thought that being shacked up with this man was not on his list of desirable activities. Throw in the fact that he would have to look forward to it for 365 days in a row and the prospect became more and more unpalatable. There was something unnerving about him. He was too tightly wound. Zero may be fairly good at his job but he did procrastinate a little too much and didn't live for his job like some people. His boss in small doses was already annoying. Twenty-four/seven? He didn't see himself lasting a week. Hopefully he had interviewed other people. 

But this was the CEO, dammit! He knew people that would sell their mothers to get a chance like this to make an impression on him. Like Luca Souen. Zero supposed that having Kaname Kuran's ear was an opportunity he shouldn't throw away. He certainly hoped the others felt that way because he was going to do so now.

"Look, I'm sure I'm just wasting your time. There are people much more suited to this job than I am. I think I should..."

"Why don't you take some to think it over before you make a decision?" the other man interrupted firmly, turning toward his desk and "waking" the screen. He didn't even seem ruffled by Zero's lack of enthusiasm, and Zero's eyes narrowed at this. So sure of himself. So confident. "I will be going in a month. I'm sending you my personal email address. Let me know by the end of next week what your decision is."

"I don't understand. It sounds like... Aren't you interviewing anyone else?" Now he was suspicious.

"Yes I am. Just keeping my options open. Still, I would appreciate it if you kept this job opening to yourself. The position is still tentative. Understand?"

"Yes..." What?!

"That will be all. Thank you for coming. You can let yourself out."

Zero walked forward to offer his hand but the other man was already absorbed in whatever was on the screen to work on. 

Zero retracted and turned to leave, the door sliding open as he approached it to reveal the small, blue-haired woman.

"This way, Mr. Kiriyuu."

"With pleasure," Zero muttered, fully intending to never use that email address under any circumstances.

"WHAT? I wasn't aware of an opening!"

"What do you mean? The CEO interviewed me! I don't understand. You've been here longer than I..."

"Maybe it's because of my wife..."

"Ex-wife. She left you two years ago, Kain."

"It's still fresh to me, Kiriyuu," Akatsuki Kain grumbled as he took another swig of his drink, the senior engineer taking exception to Zero's words despite the obvious truth.  


"That's right! It really was only a couple months ago that she screwed you royally on the property settlement. It must still hurt to sit down..."

"Fuck you, Kiriyuu. You bastard..."

"But if he didn't ask you then Souen...?"

"I doubt it. She would have let her entire department know by now if she had been interviewed by the CEO. You know she's had the hots for him since he smiled in her general direction at that Christmas party..."

"It's odd then. He can't be looking very hard for an assistant. He talked to me days ago..."

"Maybe he changed his mind. Living with him for a year? The company's psychiatric department couldn't handle that stress."

"Probably... Do you want another drink?" Zero asked while beckoning for service. He'll have one at any rate.

"Nah. I'll pass. My sister's got a round of chemo in the morning..."

"Ah. Alright. I'll see you on Monday. Take it easy, Kain."

"You too, Kiriyuu."

Zero saluted as Akatsuki Kain rose and teetered toward the elevator to head to his apartment. One thing about getting drunk on the company's premises meant easy access to you quarters. It also meant that one couldn't really get roaring smashed in public on a regular basis. That had to be reserved for the confines of your apartment.

"Garcon! A pouch of Black Label to go!"

The android rolled over in silence and handed over a sealed plastic bag with amber liquid inside. Zero ran the chip in his hand over the sensor on the android's head in payment and stood, going to the elevator, looking forward to a quiet evening passed out on his sofa in front of the Visi-Screen. Alone. Zero sighed as he waited for the elevator, tugging at the plug on the bag as the vision of her cute face swam into his memory. At least they hadn't gotten married. At least he got away with his balls still intact. He even wished her well. He didn't need her, he thought as he stepped into the elevator. He didn't need anybody.

 

ZERO awoke with a headache which was not unusual. What was unusual was where he was. The cold jagged surface of the stairwell cut into his face as he stirred, his eyes opening and lighting upon the empty pouch of liquor near his head. He didn't come here to drink, did he? Why would he when he could have gone home?

He sat up and immediately winced at the searing pain in his nether region then froze: confused then with dawning apprehension. He looked down between his legs, his eyes travelling slowly as if not able to face what he would find but having to look anyway. Eventually he reached the juncture of his thighs... and that's when he began to scream.

"YOU'LL have to report this, Kiriyuu."

"No. No. I couldn't..." He could already hear the comments, the laughter over the fucking water cooler...

"You have to. Someone assaulted you. Someone that most likely works here..."

"Don't you think I know that?" Zero shouted, almost hysterically. "Don't you think I'm not painfully aware of this fact?"

Akatsuki closed his mouth and dropped his eyes to his feet. This was the last thing he had expected when he'd come to visit Zero. He hadn't turned up for work for three days and wasn't answering his calls. He was in danger of being quarantined or reprimanded. He'd just thought he was in a funk about Yuuki again but this... Who could have done this?

"I'm sorry, Kain," Zero moaned, immediately contrite. He wasn't the enemy. He was only trying to help. "I'm so sorry. I'm just... I can't stand my own skin, you know?"

"You should at least get examined. Just in case..."

"I've been showering almost continuously for five days. I doubt there is... anything to find. I just want to forget it ever happened, Kain. Can you imagine what my life would be like if this got out?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of! It wasn't your fault...!"

"Then why do I feel this way? I keep thinking if only I ... if I hadn't gotten drunk..."

"You wouldn't have been raped? Perhaps. Perhaps it would have happened anyway. Being drunk doesn't mean other people have permission to do... things like this, Zero. You really shouldn't let them get away with this. It could happen to someone else..."

Not like this. Not like what happened to me...

"I've decided to leave the company, Kain."

"What? Are you insane?" Kain bellowed, getting to his feet and storming over to where Zero sat in a ball on his couch, bundled tightly in a bathrobe and pyjamas. He slowed down as Zero flinched, thoroughly ashamed of himself. "Zero, this bastard hurt you and you're going to throw your life away?"

"I can't do it. I can't stay here."

"Wait a week or two, Zero. Please. Ask for some leave and take it. Then decide..."

"It's too late, Kain. I've already sent in my resignation."

 

ZERO thought of ignoring the door. There was no-one else he hadn't said his goodbyes to that he cared about. Besides, he was a little wary of letting people into his apartment. Whoever had done this to him was still at large and worse, unidentifiable. He remembered nothing of that night save having drinks with Kain and then leaving the bar to go into the elevator... The rest was a blank. He didn't even remember giving the command for his floor. So Zero was very wary of visitors and still couldn't face going out by himself. When he was finished packing, Kain was going to help him move out and into the new apartment. Zero looked forward to it. It would be a relief. But even after he asked Sue to disable the call button, the knocks began on the door. Zero decided that maybe he should at least see who it is.

"Present view of caller, Sue."

The Visi-Screen deviated from its programming schedule and produced a life sized view of...

"But that's..."

"Kaname Kuran. CEO of Global Engineering," Sue interjected helpfully.

"What the fuck is he doing here?"

"He left a message at seven a.m. indicating he would be visiting at four p.m., Zero."

"Then why didn't I...?" Oh yes. He had asked Sue to hold all his calls.

Zero stood there for a while then decided - despite the fact that he should no longer care what Kaname Kuran wanted – that he would always wonder why he saw fit to pound on his door like this. No use losing sleep unnecessarily...

Zero walked over to the door and pressed his palm to the plain dark panel in the centre. He had reprogrammed it after the incident. Only his palm print will open it. He hated what he had become; a frightened shell of his former self. The worst wasn't even the pain or the violation. It was how he couldn't fathom how someone like him could have been rendered essentially powerless to prevent something like this happening to him. Kain had tried to assure him that he had probably been drugged. But shouldn't he have seen him coming? Shouldn't he have remembered something? Anything? It was no use. He wasn't sure of anything anymore - even of himself - and that was a large part of his fear. But he was sure all he needed was to leave. That was his one hope, what kept him going. He'll leave and then he would be able to put this behind him and move on.  


Kaname Kuran, in the flesh, soon presented himself. Even to the point of marching into the apartment as soon as the door opened, pushing it and Zero aside and walking straight through to the living room. He settled into a chair, his interest going briefly to the boxes that were strewn around the room, before settling on the puzzled silver-haired man standing in the doorway.

"Close the door and come sit down. I would like to offer you a job."

 

to be continued


	2. The Offer

The Offer

 

_**"WE'RE** coming in to land now. Please return to your seats and enable the landing function."_

__  
Zero was already in his seat, too fascinated to move from the window, the red glow of the barren landscape seeming to call to him. The Amazon desert. It had been a rainforest at one point but after "The Incident" it would not support life. It had been abandoned to its fate until relatively recently...

  
"I've sent you a few tasks I want completed as soon as we land. Please stay in the complex but remember if you have to go outside..."

  
"'To put on the full suit and take an extra tank of oxygen. The company will not accept any liability for sickness, burns, mutations, cancerous growths, death or any consequences arising from the failure to follow these instructions.' Mr. Kuran, I did understand you the first four times you said it."

  
"Mr. Kuran" seemed to want to say something else but thought better of it. He returned his gaze to his laptop and left Zero to his quiet excitement. Zero couldn't believe he was doing this. But then the offer had been good and what else did he have to do...?

 

_\- Two days earlier -_

 

_**ZERO** studied the determined and uncomfortable face of his former boss as he made himself at home in his apartment – that is, his until the end of the week. He had looked like he wanted to be there even less than Zero had wanted to see him. It had struck a chord with Zero; maybe Kuran was as desperate as he was..._

_  
"Why did you resign?"_

_  
"That's my business, Mr. Kuran. Maybe I have a better offer."_

_  
"But that's not true, is it?" the sombre brunette had asked, but it wasn't really a question. No one had much privacy anymore. The downside of the attacks was that it made information on everybody more freely available. Anyone with anything to hide was subject to scrutiny and... disappearances. Maybe, right now, his horrible experience was quietly making the rounds..._

_  
Zero closed his door and folded his arms as he approached the lounging inconvenience._

_  
"Is there something you wanted? As you can see I am in the middle of something here..."_

_  
"My offer still stands. I need someone with me in the Amazon and I believe you are the one..."_

_  
"I can't accept. Thank you for thinking of me..."_

_  
"I'll increase your current salary by fifty per cent. Think of it: another six month's pay for merely assisting me. And you get to run away from whatever it is you are avoiding..."_

_  
"I AM NOT RUNNING...!"_

_  
Zero reined himself in and turned away from enigmatic figure in his living room. He would like to think it was simply a fresh start or he didn't like the environment anyway or... any multitude of facile reasons. But they weren't true. He knew that unknowable entity haunted him..._

_  
"Get out. Find someone else. Kain or Souen would jump at this opportunity in a second."_

_  
The other man – Kaname - remained quiet for a while, but steadily watching his quarry as the other turned away to avoid his eyes, his fists clenching agitatedly. It seemed out of proportion, the man's reaction, still he stood and removed a data-stick from his pocket, going over to the slot in the wall..._

_  
"Sue. Override: 4760A Kuran. Show file 'Amazon Reconstruction'."_

_  
"Override accepted. View screen."_

_  
Turns out he could override his personal computer's instructions. No wonder he hadn't been able to get any sleep on mornings..._

_  
But Zero hadn't noticed this at the time. After all, he had become transfixed by the plans. The screen showed the desert as it was now – just a few stations for workers and other... businesspersons... and then gradually built before his eyes into a city, complete with people. Lots of people, going about their daily lives, not a care in the world, ensconced in a beautiful grid of corridors and reinforced buildings..._

_  
"It's... beautiful." It made him think of why he'd become an engineer in the first place._

_  
"Well, it's efficient. If you help me I will double your pay," Kaname had to pause as those sparkling grey eyes darted over at him in suspicion, "and I will give you a small credit here..."_

_  
The city sort of froze into a billboard and Zero's name came out just below a few others between his and the CEO: Zero Kiriyuu – Consultant Engineer._

_  
"And on any information seen about this city. In exchange for a year of hard work you'll have your pick of jobs anywhere. Mr. Kiriyuu, it's the first of its kind. I want it to be perfect. I want it to be the best."_

_  
Zero had stood there, transfixed by the vision, the possibilities. Maybe Kain was right. Maybe he shouldn't let... this take his life from him. Only then would whoever it was win. Besides, didn't his former boss say it was fairly remote? Just what he needed..._

_  
"When are you going?"_

_  
"The day after tomorrow. I see you're already packed..." he'd said drily, a wry twist to his mouth._

_  
"Send me the details. You've got yourself a gofer."_

 

 

 **NOW** here he was.

  
"This is your room. Mine is on the other side of the common area. I like my privacy. I would appreciate if you would remember that."

  
"Sure." Like he cared what colour his pyjamas were or if he wore women's underwear. Which, incidentally, Zero would lay odds on...

  
"It has bathroom facilities complete with a shower. It is fairly rustic here. You'll have to operate everything manually. Please conserve water where you can and you're expected to clean up after yourself. There is no auto-maid service."

  
"Somehow I'll cope, Sir."

  
Zero hadn't had an auto-maid in his life but his new boss sounded quite serious as he voiced this pressing concern. Mr. Kuran paused in his little tour and looked at Zero.

  
"Basically if you stay out of my business I'll leave you pretty much alone, except when we need to work in which case the computer will alert you when needs be. I'll leave you to settle in and see to the burn on your face. Use this." His boss paused to hold out a tube towards him. "It will help."

  
"Thanks," Zero replied, again reminded of his stupidity, taking the cream. It was an understatement that the prevailing climate outside the comfort of their fairly spacious apartment was baking hot. Hardly anything stopped the sun from toasting whatever was unlucky enough to be caught in it to a crisp, and Zero finally understood the need for the safety suits which did - as well as protect against radiation poisoning - filter out the sun's harmful rays and heat and cooled the bearer considerably. Of course, Zero had thought it was an almost negligible distance to the nearest building from the aircraft and made to go out the door without protection... and got a seriously painful tan in the process. He'd been dragged back in by his boss and a damp cloth applied post haste to his skin, all while the previous instructions were reiterated in grim, loud emphasis. Zero's ears had turned red with no help at all from the sun.

  
_"I'm sorry."_

  
_"That's not good enough anymore! If you don't follow my instructions to the letter you could end up dead! This place is not fully tamed as yet!"_

  
_"Okay! I understand!"_ he'd bellowed, wrenching himself away from being shaken like some damned child. With the towel over his eyes he would never see the concern in his boss' face or the fear...

  
Zero watched until the door finally slid closed behind the dour brunette, then dropped his bags onto the floor and stretched. Rubbing the ointment haphazardly onto his face, he walked over to the large double bed – who wasted space like this anymore? - and fell onto it, face first and promptly fell asleep. So, it had been a hard last few weeks. This place he'd come to could kill him if he so much as got locked outside yet, ironically, it was only now... he felt safe...

 

 

 **ZERO** eventually rolled over with some urgency and looked out of the window. Good. It was still daylight. He pushed down the coverlet – he supposed he must have woken up and pulled it on... and had removed his shoes - and sat up to peer around himself, quite disoriented.

  
"Comp Assistant. Identify," Zero muttered groggily, but trying to be clear so he wouldn't have to reprogram it again later.

  
_"Lakewood. Model XA284. At your service."_

  
Well that woke Zero up. Model XA284! He had to manually bathe himself but the man had installed the latest assistant software. He'd just gained a whole new respect for him. He even liked the voice chosen. A businesslike but horny female secretary. Okay!

  
"I'll call you Laura from now on, Lakewood XA284. Please sav..."

  
 _"Understood, Mr. Kiriyuu. It is now 9:54 a.m. Mr. Kuran asks that you join him as soon as you are able to actually begin to earn the salary he is paying you, if it is not too much trouble."_ The damned thing actually had a sarcastic inflection!  
However, Zero was already in the bathroom frantically tearing his travel clothes off from yesterday to have a quick shower. 9:54? In the morning?! What the devil...?! Why hadn't he awoken him? And he was supposed to send off some mail urgently...!

 

 

 **"MR. KURAN** , Sir. I'm sor..."

  
"I had to send off my correspondence myself. My workday has been set back by an hour and a half. This is not what we agreed," the other man spat, not turning around from manipulating the touch sensitive Visi-Screen in the main area. Zero bit his lip in chagrin.

  
"I was trying to explain that I'd overslept, Sir. I guess I was more exhausted than I'd realised. Why didn't you wake m...?"

  
"What you do behind those doors is your own affair. I trust you are not a child, Mr. Kiriyuu, and can manage efficiently organising your own time?"

  
"Yes, Sir," Zero replied, already kicking himself for getting off to such bad start with his boss and his job. Sure he was a tad lazy and sloppy but he was never late. He took his work seriously. He walked over to a vacant desk and placed his E-pad onto it.

  
"What would you like me to...?"

  
"Have you had breakfast?"

  
"Breakfast?"

  
"First meal of the day? Usually cereal, meal crackers or Rehydro Pills...?"

  
"I don't eat breakfast. Sir." Stay calm, Kiriyuu. Stay. Calm. "I usually just have an early lunch."

  
Zero said this last as he watched the bad-tempered brunette turn away from the agitated screen and march over to the kitchen area.

  
"Fine. What do you normally have for an 'early lunch'?"

  
"Sir, I'm fine for another..."

  
"You can't possibly function efficiently if you haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon. What would you like?"

  
Zero debated for, oh, at least thirty-five seconds, telling his boss to go fuck himself and repacking his bags. Didn't he say he would stay out of his business? However, as he did smell the first drops of coffee, his mind began to fantasize about a sausage wrap, his stomach beginning to make a low whistling sound. Maybe he should have something...

  
"Here."

  
Zero was quite surprised when the aforementioned items were placed on the table in front of him. How did he know? He looked up in suspicion at his boss who simply shrugged, and returned to his previous task. Zero pursed his lips in irritation but snatched up the wrap and bit into it with gusto, even as he lamented how everything about a person must be documented nowadays.

  
"I had planned an early tour of the site. I wanted to let you have a feel of the conditions we'll need to design for and around. That will be pushed to tomorrow instead. If you don't mind, please set Laura to wake you at 5:30 a.m."

  
"...Yes, Sir," Zero acknowledged, swallowing fast. Damn, this was good. But wait, how did he know he'd called it "Laura"?

  
"It told me when I asked for your status," Kaname informed, as if reading his mind. "You can ask it to be more succinct in the future."

  
"I certainly will."

  
Zero rose quickly to place the containers into recycling, eager to start his almost wasted day, and immediately felt the room swim around him. He dropped them as he tried to brace himself with a nearby chair.

  
"Mr. Kiriyuu! Zero! Are you al...?"

  
But that's all Zero heard. He was too busy running towards his room, holding his mouth in a desperate attempt to not throw up all over his boss.

 

to be continued


	3. The Right to Family

The Right to Family

 

ZERO retched painfully into the bowl of the toilet he was currently hugging desperately. He wasn't particularly concerned by the fact he was vomiting. Heaven knew it's happened many, many times before, usually accompanied by a hangover. But this... scared him, simply because he hadn't been drinking the night before and because of the violence of his sickness. It was also a culmination of a recent spate of queasiness he'd been experiencing in the mornings. He hadn't been back to his doctor, though. He had been leaving the company, for one and two, well... he couldn't face the fact that whatever was happening to him may be because of the attack. It would come out then.

 

_That I've been..._

  
"Here. Drink this."

  
Zero looked up in horror, quite put out that he hadn't heard him come into the bathroom, but then he'd been retching quite loudly, his head almost below the rim of the receptacle.

  
"What... What is it...?"

  
"It will settle your stomach. Make you feel better. Works like a miracle when I'm hung-over."

  
"I'm not..."

  
"What?" Kaname asked, prompting the younger man who had stopped his sentence abruptly. Zero placed the glass to his lips and downed the contents, praying for relief and a better answer to the question. Saying he wasn't hung-over would raise all types of questions. He didn't think he would earn his money or design credit locked away in quarantine. When he got a chance he'd just go see his doctor privately but until then he'd keep his concerns to himself. It was damned puzzling, though. That's why it was so scary. He felt fine usually: no fever, no pains. Just this nausea in the mornings. He was always fine by lunchtime...

  
"I was going to say 'I can't imagine you being drunk'. You seem a little tightly laced and puritanical..."

  
"That's a good image to have when you run a company the size of GE. Please know I'll deny ever having admitted such a thing. Are you feeling better?"

  
"Yes." Actually he was! He sat up as a strange hope came over him. Maybe if he stockpiled this stuff... Did Kain know about it? "What is it?"

  
"Stadamine XE. My doctor recommends not getting drunk in the first place, by the way." The censorious tone was back. Zero wondered if he had hallucinated the earlier sympathetic manner. He got to his feet and smoothed his hands over his clothes before going to the bathroom sink to wash up.

  
"I'll be right out. Thank you for the help."

  
"I did say what you did in here was your own affair but if it interferes with work..."

  
"I understand. It won't happen again." This day was just not going well. He wished he could stop it, rewind and start over.

  
"No it won't. There is to be no more alcohol drunk or drugs used while you are on this job. If I so much as sense you are in any way inebriated you are on your way home. Is that clear?"

  
"You can't do that! My free time is my own business...!"

  
"But now it is mine as well. Obviously you can't control yourself so I will help you. Your inefficiency reflects on me. For instance, I will have to reschedule three conference calls because I am here taking care of you..."

  
"You have some nerve!" Zero bellowed, unable to tolerate his superior tone a second longer. He'd been through too much in the last few weeks to take this crap from him. If only he could say that he hadn't been that weak! But, dammit...! "If you are so sure I'm a frigging junkie why not just fire me and stop ruining your 'efficiency'!?"

  
"Because I am over a barrel, just like you. Besides, I refuse to be wrong about anything, including you. I need someone I can depend upon now but if you force my hand I will get rid of you. Even I run out of patience."

  
Zero turned away to the mirror, leaning on the small, cerulean blue carbon polymer sink as the livid brunette exited the small room and left him to his own devices. Maybe he should go home. He wasn't well, he was being treated like a child and he was having some murderous fantasies about his boss that he couldn't quite talk himself out of carrying out. What he needed was some time to recover from his trauma. He did need to run away...

  
_"Mr. Kiriyuu! I need your opinion on this. Are you going to work at all today?"_

  
Zero looked up into the mirror and pursed his lips. He could run and hide. He could pack and walk out. But to what end? Did he really need to have nothing more in his life than self pity? How sad was that? What was happening here was bigger than his own problems or his boss. He had the chance to shape it. Now. _Now_ he had the chance to transcend what was forced onto him. If he was strong enough to take the opportunity.

  
 _"Mr. Kiriyuu!"_  First, Zero thought, he'll need to at least find the speakers in his room and take a bat to them.

  
"Coming!" Zero yelled, grabbing a dehydrating strip, then mumbling. "Keep your shirt on..."

 

 

 **"I WANT THE** recreational facilities to be to the north. There will be several acres for a park where there will be a gymnasium, pool facilities and game courts for all manner of sports. The offices will be to the east and south and the residences will be to the west. There will be a centralised hub for easy mobility..."

  
Zero listened, fascinated by the possibilities even as he looked out on the arid, reddish-brown earth. The settlement could be seen in the distance and they had left their vehicle and walked upon the dusty, sun-baked earth. Zero couldn't believe he was here. He'd heard so much about this forbidden place and now he was walking over it. Albeit in a climate controlled banana-yellow containment suit. Still...

  
"What about waste management?"

  
"There will be a recycling plant a few hundred miles to the south where all waste will be separated, processed, neutralised and reused. All powered by solar energy. This city will have the best and be almost completely self sufficient."

  
Zero whistled low and asked softly, "What is the budget like on this?" His boss had been in a good mood ever since he came out of his room and saw Zero awake and finishing the tasks he been set the previous day. He'd loved the new revision Zero had been working on all morning and since then he could do nothing wrong...

  
"There is none, Zero. The WGB is funding this. Whatever it takes to return us to where we were before..."

  
There. He'd called him "Zero" again. Seems that was an indication of his mood.

  
"I wish they would throw as much money behind the fertility issue," starting the old public gripe again. "Aren't they worried about there being no children anymore?"

  
Zero was surprised when Kaname stopped his excited scrutiny of the dark, reddish landscape and looked right at him. He then turned toward the vehicle and trudged off leaving Zero in his wake. Zero's mouth dropped open at the sudden change. It was a fairly hot issue nowadays: what the WGB was doing to further research into the declining population. The human race was facing extinction and they were building cities and legislating on every aspect of peoples' lives. Why wasn't cloning working? Why did so few – and normally the rich - benefit from surrogacy programs? And how did they expect fertile women to come forward if they disappeared into some facility or other just to make babies? It should be a choice! Shouldn't it?

  
"Are you coming?"

  
The large tank-like vehicle stopped in front of him and the door opened to let him in. Zero hopped in and was barely seated before it moved off across the parched landscape to the settlement.

  
"I didn't mean to imply this wasn't worthwhile. I wouldn't be here otherwise..."

  
"But you did mean to imply that nobody was doing anything about the childlessness," the other man bit, slamming his foot to the floor of the vehicle, accelerating as if he couldn't wait to get away from Zero. Zero couldn't believe this.

  
"It's just an ongoing issue!"  People griped about what the WGB was doing about the childlessness as an icebreaker at parties.  It was so well-trodden Zero couldn't imagine anyone becoming offended by it.  It was like that old one about global warming...  "I didn't mean to offend..."

  
"What are you doing about it, Mr. Kiriyuu? Except sitting there and passing judgment on other people?"

  
"What is your problem? Honestly?! Are you going to pretend you've never heard the ongoing discussion on the drastic population decline? That save for the rich and lucky there may be no-one to populate this extravagant vision of yours?"

  
Zero braced himself as the vehicle suddenly halted and the doors to the vehicle opened on his side; probably to suggest he get out and walk. Zero ignored this "suggestion" and instead looked ready to beat his boss' head in. A dark head turned away from the cold grey gaze and leaned forward onto the control panel placing his head on one arm. His breathing was noisy; almost gasping and Zero finally stopped frowning and wondered if he was okay.

  
"Hey, Mr. Kuran. Are you...?"

  
"I wonder what you would do if you had the chance, Zero. To help. If you were able to help a very desperate person. Someone who had always wanted a child. Someone who had sunk billions into the research and... had even tried but..."

  
"Jesus..."

  
Zero thumped his helmet in frustration. How could he be so obtuse?

  
"You've tried haven't you? To have a child? Of course, you're rich enough..."

  
"I never said...!"

  
"Please. Don't insult my intelligence. What's a black market pregnancy among the rich? Commonplace? And you're upset when people like me complain?"

  
"So what? We can take care of them! In case you haven't noticed you can't even afford your own home while I have..."

  
Well, Zero thought it was time to use the door. He hopped out of the vehicle and began to trudge through the dusty wasteland. The land was brighter as the sun began to rise and Zero could feel the heat on his face through the visor but he didn't care. He was going back, on foot, to pack and then he was leaving. He would not be condescended to by this insufferable jerk...

  
"Zero!!  Come back here!"

  
"Mr. Kiriyuu to you, you fucking asshole," Zero shouted over his shoulder, picking up his pace. He heard the vehicle rev-up and move off. Maybe he was going to kill him with it to stop him talking about his crime. Zero kept a wary eye on it as it circled him and parked in his path, a figure in yellow disembarking from the vehicle to accost him.

  
"Get in. Let me explain..."

  
"No. You don't have to. I understood perfectly..." Zero moved to go around him but then...

  
"I carry the trait for Amanpour Syndrome, Zero. They disqualified me. Said I was unfit. Simply because my child may have a 1% chance of having a hyperactive personality. One percent! What would you have done in my shoes? What good are my means if I shouldn't use them to get what I want?"

  
"That's not how it should be done...!"

  
"I dare you to say it. I dare you to tell me to my face that you would never have done the same thing and I'll leave you alone. They had wanted fifty million dollars and I had forty trillion. Tell me what you would have done!  Tell me that if it was in your power to find a way to reproduce but it meant bending a few rules you wouldn't do it!"

  
Zero groaned in annoyance as he felt himself slow down and stop... He needed to go. He needed to go! He'd known this was a bad idea from the beginning. But he seemed so pathetic.  Damn, he was a softie...

  
"What happened? Did you...?"

  
"She miscarried. Twice. We were only allowed two chances."

  
"'We'?"

  
"My wife and I..."

  
"You're married?" In what universe?!

  
"Was. She blamed me. I had the abnormality so..."

  
"Oh," Zero said quickly, not too keen on getting embroiled in his boss' private life even if it was a bit too late. He conceded that if he did have forty trillion dollars he probably would have done the same thing. Especially if it would have made her stay... The silence descended like a damp blanket until the older man noticed the day was getting uncomfortable.

  
"Perhaps we should go inside."

  
"Yes..."

  
The men turned to head back to the vehicle.

  
"I'm sorry about my behaviour..."

  
"Forgotten. I didn't understand until now. At least you got a chance. People like me don't."

  
Kaname grew quiet for a while. They were seated in the vehicle again – Zero driving this time – before he asked, "If you did have the chance, what would you choose?"

  
Zero laughed bitterly, pushing his foot down on the pedal. Why dream of such impossible things?

  
"To have one, of course. It's so... awful knowing that you'll just die and be forgotten. Unless you can do things like this - monuments to your own vanity – your immortality lies in your children. Not just your genes but... you know, to be able to teach them what you know, to pass on the old stories and customs, to shape them into people better than yourself and have them remember that you lived. I think to die alone and simply forgotten... isn't that everyone's fear?"

  
"It certainly is mine. It's surprising. You're so young but you understand perfectly."

  
"Gee. Thanks."

  
"But you can get that satisfaction from having a protégée as well, you know."

  
"It's not the same. Your child has a vested interest in his roots... Hey! Is that why you wanted me here?"

  
Zero looked to one side at the lounging yellow mass which stayed quiet even as he stared hopefully at him, then gave up as he realised no answer was forthcoming. A protégée. He'd been chosen as a protégée to Kaname Kuran. Wow. Zero figured he'd better stop worrying about his boss' bad attitude and other things. He should try harder to get along with him. Who knows? Maybe he'll get some of the money...

 

 

**"IT'S WORKING!"**

  
"Thank goodness!"

  
"Thanks, Mr. Kuran!"

  
"Don't mention it. See that the bit is changed every five working hours until we fly in the replacement. We simply can't afford to stop drilling until it comes."

  
"Yes, Sir. Are you going out to the North Field now?  They called to request that you..."

  
"No. We're going to head back inside first. We mustn't miss brunch, must we, Zero?"

  
Zero coloured painfully and turned away while the foreman and his assistant had a laugh at his expense. He couldn't understand it himself. He was ravenous so often he couldn't see straight. And he was gaining weight! Oh the indignity! And it seemed to be all on his stomach. The morning he couldn't fasten his pants any longer he'd decided to go back to bed and let the world be damned. What was wrong with him? Yet his boss wouldn't let him have time off to go to the doctor.

  
_"You seem fine. No fever. Eating properly. It's probably because you aren't working out. When you go back you can make up for that..."_

  
_"That can't be all, Kaname. It's all going onto my stomach. If you hadn't told me about that shop so I could adjust my suits I'd still be naked. It's happening fast and when I try to cut back on my food..."_

_  
"You mustn't do that. I can't afford to have you get sick. Your body is telling you what it wants to cope with the conditions. Don't ignore it."_

  
And it was the oddest thing; from then on he's been making sure Zero ate regularly and often, as if growing as fat as a cow was a completely normal thing to do.  Zero grew miserable, especially since he couldn't stop himself.  And whenever he wanted to exercise restraint Kaname sabotaged it almost expertly.  In fact, he's been obsessive about his meals since they'd arrived.

 

Kaname.  He'd insisted he call him "Kaname" as they were working and living together. His boss wasn't bad once he wasn't feeling the pressure of the situation, which was seldom. However, when he did relax, he was still a little straight-laced but with a dry sense of humour, patient and quite kind. Like now. Knowing Zero's odd proclivity for not being able to wait until lunch anymore, he would promptly drop everything to head back in the middle of the morning to make sure he ate. And healthily - the greasy sausage wraps were relegated to Tuesdays only. Zero, who had been beginning to like him, began again to plot his demise. 

  
"Do you have to do that? Make me the brunt of jokes?"

  
"You are gaining weight, Zero and you have to eat more regularly. You think they won't notice that? I am trying to make light of it so it seems normal. People handle stress in all sorts of ways and..."

  
"It's not stress, Kaname. I feel like... something's growing inside of me. Like a tumour."

  
"Nonsense. You're are as healthy as a horse. Your bio-screen was perfect. You don't even have cancer in your family..."

  
"I was adopted, Kaname. My family died in the attacks when I was two..."

  
"I know. I've checked out everything about you. Look, you have nothing to worry about. Come on. Why don't you think about what you'd like to eat?  I'll make it for you when we get back."

  
Zero gave up and stepped up into the vehicle, only hesitating a little as Kaname insisted he move around and let him drive. Damn he was being treated like a ticking bomb. It made him more nervous. Rather than think of his weighty choice between Oat-Wheats with milk and "Wheat Thin Bars with Strawberry Flavoured Soy Protein chunks for a satisfying crunch and great nutrition" without milk, Zero decided to ask a favour.

  
"Kaname."

  
"Hmmmm?" His boss sounded distracted as he backed out of the pit. Zero soldiered on.

  
"I need a break. Two days at the most. I've been working for two months without a moment to myself..."

  
"Are you complaining? You know my schedule...!"

  
"I know. I just... I have to see a doctor. This is really beginning to worry me. Either you give me permission or I..."

  
"No! Don't. I understand, okay? Just... let me think."

  
Zero became silent as well, wondering what there was to consider so deeply. He was sure Kaname could manage two days without him. They were ahead of schedule. In another four weeks and they could begin the reinforced perimeter. Zero looked back at the yellow suit that drove in grim silence beside him and waited another ten seconds before...

  
"Okay. I know a doctor that owes me a favour. I'll have him fly down to examine you..."

  
"No. I prefer my own. I don't want a stranger at this point."

  
"Who is he? I'll have him come..."

  
"Must you police everything I do? What the hell is making you so nervous?"

  
"Nothing! Nothing," Kaname repeated, more calmly. "I just want to help."

  
"You can help by letting me leave for two days. Honestly, I can manage going to the doctor by myself..."  

  
"I don't think you should go to just anybody. What if they report you and you get quarantined?"

  
"Not him. He's cool..."

  
"Who?"

  
"That's my affair. I think I like actually having a secret from you, Kaname..."

  
"I think we both need a break. Why don't I go back with you?"

  
"What? No!"

  
"Why not? You can stay with me. You ought to remember that you are still practically homeless."

 

 

 **KANAME** sat on his bed staring at the cold harsh night beyond his window but seeing none of it. He was listening carefully.

  
_"Sure. I can fit you in, Zero. What time?"_

_  
"How about four o'clock on Thursday afternoon? You are usually free then..."_

_  
"Yes. My scheduled gym time. I'll see you then. How is everything? Any more pain?"_

_  
"I'll talk to you when I see you. Thanks."_

_  
"No problem. Goodbye."_

  
The call ended and Kaname exhaled, not realising he'd been holding his breath until then. He thought he recognised the voice but...

  
"Laura. Confirm call address."

  
_"Dr. Albert Rosenberg. Global Engineering suite 15, level 300."_

  
"Thank you. Resume monitoring."

  
_"Yes, Sir."_

  
Kaname lay back on the bed, his face showing the agitation he was feeling. There had to be a way to handle this...

  
"Lakewood Assistant: call Mr. Aidou."

  
_"Yes, Sir."_

 

to be continued


	4. Choose

Choose

 

**"AFTER YOU."**

  
Zero smiled a tad nervously and stepped into what he and his colleagues had often termed the "Forbidden Sanctum" on the four hundredth floor, the suite dedicated to the CEO where only the most important and fortunate were invited to see. The CEO guarded his privacy like a jealous lover, so even parties and other social functions were held elsewhere than the rarefied precinct of the top floor. So now Zero hardly dared to enter. But when he realised Mr. Kuran – Kaname – had raised an eyebrow in puzzlement and was still waiting for him to clear the doorway, he decided to have a little more courage. After all, Kaname had insisted he stay here for the couple days he'd wanted to himself. God, he couldn't wait to tell Kain and Souen! Souen would just dissolve on the spot from envy alone...!

  
"Please make yourself at home, Zero. Your computer assistant is called 'Sylvia' and comes with an auto-maid counterpart. It's available anywhere in the apartment except..."

  
"Your bedroom. I already know it is off limits, Mr. Kuran."

  
"Yes..." Kaname replied, painfully aware that Zero was still annoyed he'd insisted on coming; and putting him up in his apartment; and paying for the trip; and driving the rental vehicle; and trying to talk him into coming with him to the doctor. He knew he was being controlling but he couldn't make himself let Zero out of his sight. "Well, that and my den. You'll have your own work area inside your quarters in any case..."

  
"I am NOT driving a stroke, Mr. Kuran. This is supposed to be my break away from you."

  
Kaname looked away from the unsubtle message in those piercing grey eyes. He drew his fingers through his dark locks – he really needed a trim – and turned back to confront his disagreeable assistant.

  
"I understand, Zero. Do you have to be so prickly? I was merely informing you of what is on offer in my home. One would think that I had kidnapped you!"

  
"You practically did. I could have stayed with a friend if you wanted your precious house to yourself..."

  
"I never said that I did. The place is big enough for eight people to get lost in. We'll hardly see each other, except for when it is time to leave. I'd only wanted to make sure you are well taken care of. If I am being too forward I apologise."  
Kaname knitted his brows, a troubled expression on his face and Zero's heart began to soften grudgingly towards this pathetic creature before him.

  
"Where's my room?"

  
"Sylvia, please show Zero to his quarters."

  
At this, a sleek white robot wearing a cute, mid-thigh "French Maid" uniform sauntered towards them from the doorway on Zero's left. She glanced at Kaname for moment before proceeding to Zero's elbow.

  
"You must be 'Zero'. Welcome! This way, please." She bowed a little as she said this and Zero felt quite welcome indeed. He hefted his bags onto his shoulder, suddenly feeling some enthusiasm as he followed the petit robot with an inviting sway to its hips down the passageway and beyond.

 

 

" **ZERO!** Don't panic. Just take deep breaths. That's it. Hold then release..."

  
Zero grabbed the doctor's arm as he tried to stop from hyperventilating, tried to follow the instructions in order to stop from passing out. But what did you expect when you were shown something like that...?

  
"We'll... have to do quite a few tests, answer a few questions but basically you're..."

  
"It's... a mistake. It has to be..." Zero interrupted, not wanting him to say it again.

  
"Zero... Zero! Look at me," Doctor Rosenberg demanded firmly as the youth tried to hide his face in his shirt and avoid his eyes. Zero eventually raised his head. It was odd. He felt embarrassed. As if he was a failure as a man. A real man could have somehow avoided being knocked up. How could this have happened? Zero closed his eyes and groaned, feeling quite nauseous as he saw the wall sized Visi-Screen and the three lumps of tissue he'd been assured were...

  
"I'm going to be sick..." They were growing inside of him. Like parasites.

  
Dr. Rosenberg left his distraught patient and reached for a vial on his desk. He snapped it under Zero's nose and the man suddenly became alert and distracted from vomiting in his office.

  
"It's not a mistake. When you saw me last I'd done some tests on your abdomen but I hadn't immediately looked at them. And then I couldn't reach you and you never came back to see me..."

  
"Something had happened. I didn't want to see anyone..."

  
Zero trailed off as his eyes widened in a final, brutal deduction. He immediately sat up and swung his legs over the side of the examination table, avoiding the sight of the three embryos that disgusted him completely. They belonged to _Him_...

  
"Something happened, did you say?" Dr. Rosenberg asked quietly, noting Zero's change in manner. "Do you mean...?"

 

"How the _fuck_ did this happen?"

 

"I'm not sure.  It's almost impossible..."

  
"I can't go through with this... whatever it is.  I can't."  He knew he hadn't wanted to know.  He _knew_.  But the last thing he expected was _this!_   It couldn't have been a cancer or a twisted momento from a sick bastard.  Noooo...

 

"Zero.  Think about what you're saying..."

 

"I am thinking!  This is a mistake!  I'm a man. I've always been a man.  I can't be..."

  
"That's beside the point now. You are carrying _three_ embryos..."

  
"I even got engaged to a woman. I enjoy sex as a man. Very much..."

  
"Those are three potential human beings with no side-effects from..."

  
Zero flipped the nearby trolley over, scattering its contents everywhere. Dr. Rosenberg just barely saved himself from be nailed by the thongs.

  
"I DON'T CARE!! GET THAT BASTARD TO CARRY THEM THEN! ISN'T IT BAD ENOUGH THAT HE DID THIS TO ME!!?"

  
_"Doctor Rosenberg! Is everything alright in there?"_

__  
"Yes Clarice! I'm fine!" the physician called back, even as he fought to hide his agitation. Not that he was afraid of Zero. He could understand his being as upset as he was, all things considered. But there was the more urgent problem before them. One they were all aware of. Hence, he was legally and morally bound to report Zero if he did anything harm himself or the pregnancy. Sure it was upsetting what had happened to him but he had to make sure Zero knew what was at stake. He was pregnant! That rose above any other considerations.

  
"No, wait.  I don't know why I'm panicking.  This isn't cancer.  I can have it removed.  Right?  Like an extra toe?  I want it gone. Do you have time this afternoon?"

 

Dr. Rosenberg folded his arms and pursed his lips, realising Zero was merely becoming hysterical.  He couldn't possibly think he'd do such a thing.

 

"What?  I have a right to choose that, don't I? My sex? What happens to my body?  At least while I'm fucking conscious!!"

  
"Zero, you know it is not that simple..."

  
"Don't give me that tone! I am not having these children! I'll kill myself first...!"

  
"Then I will have to turn you in. You know it is practically treasonable to abort a pregnancy. Even one as unexpected as this one."

  
"You bastard! I thought I could trust you...!"

  
"That's where you are right, Zero. You can trust me. I will never divulge this. You know that if I was following the law to the letter you would have been on a full breeding program before you even knew what hit you. You wouldn't be here complaining about the fact that you are one of the few persons on this earth that can actually reproduce and not only that, are actually carrying three potential human beings right now! And since you are completely unaffected by the fallout..."

  
"You can't be serious! You can't possibly be asking me to...!"

  
"I'm not asking, Zero. I'm demanding you to reconsider what you are going to do. No matter what you think of this, no matter how it happened... it's a fucking miracle what's happening to you and I don't use those words lightly. If you do anything to destroy the babies you're carrying you'll never be able to live with yourself. I guarantee it. And you will forever lose my respect."

  
Zero closed his mouth at this and looked away suddenly robbed of his clear course of action. He looked back at the screen and tried to see three babies and not three parasites or that horrible morning he had awoken, discarded like a piece of used trash on the stairs. But he couldn't do it. He wanted out of this situation. He wanted his life back. He could so easily lose it too. What happens when he started to really show? He could be locked away in a baby factory before he could even explain it was all a horrible mistake.

  
"I'll make you a deal. You do this, delivery these babies and I promise to consider whatever you want me to do afterward, even if you choose to remove the womb. I'll give you all the care you need free of cost, will fly anywhere..."

  
"I can't do this. This is insane.  Once I begin to show I'm done for...!"

  
"They'll never suspect. You look like a man gaining a bit of weight. Happens to the best of us," Doctor Rosenberg smiled patting his own stomach. "Just be careful about being seen naked. I'll put a note on your medical records. Something genetic and vague. I'll need to do a little research..."

 

 _I look like a man._ Like _a man.  That's right.  I don't qualify anymore.  Oh no.  It's a vagina.  I have a fucking vagina...!_

 

Zero closed his eyes as he felt tears threatening.  His life was over.  Everything he knew, was sure of, was over.  That _bastard!_

  
"I'll have to give up my job." There's no way he could live with Kaname Kuran like this.

  
"Not yet. Not for a few months. You are hardly showing. Your weight gain is mostly fat and water. I'll help you with that..."

  
It was then the two men began to talk in earnest: one enthusiastically the other in fearful anticipation of the worst. Zero looked up at the screen again trying to stop the feeling he had of his skin crawling in disgust.

  
_"What would you do? If you had the power to help?"_

  
Now he knew the answer to the question. Now he knew that he would run like hell.

 

 

**"MR. KURAN!"**

 

Zero stopped in the doorway of the elevator, truly surprised to see his boss there. His eyes were still puffy from crying in the john. He'd hoped to just sneak into the apartment and lock himself in his room for the rest of the two-day break. No such luck.

  
"I was coming back from some errands... Are you alright?"

  
"Yes. I'm fine. I just have a rare... thyroid problem," Zero informed, pushing his hands into his pockets to make sure the pamphlets on pregnancy and pre-natal care didn't peep out of them. "The doctor says I'll have to be careful what I eat and how much until it resolves itself."

  
"I see."

  
Zero was surprised that's all he said but he was grateful. He walked into the elevator and turned away from his boss wishing he'd pressed the call button a second later than he did.

  
"I brought some food from that restaurant on thirty-eighth. I like how it's never the same unlike the machine manufactured stuff. We could eat in the conservatory..."

  
"I'm not hungry. I think I'll go to bed earl..."

  
"Nonsense. You must be starving and I had this made especially for us. It's an old Japanese recipe I've had in my family for years. Once I pop the lid you'll attack me, I swear it..."

  
"Don't you have anyone to visit? Things to do? Seriously, we haven't been further than an apartment's length apart for two months and now you're back in civilisation you want to hang out with me?! Maybe I have plans! Maybe I'm sick to death of seeing you! Have you considered that? Just leave me alone!"

  
The elevator finally opened on the top floor, ending the awkward silence that had followed this last and Zero disappeared into the suite, heading straight for his room and closing the door.

 

 

 **ZERO** yanked open the refrigerator and was taken aback to see a container labelled 'Zero' inside. He lifted it out and pushed open the lid... then promptly headed for the oven. Fifteen seconds later he was installed at the small breakfast table savouring the first bite of something fishy stuffed with rice. God this was good. He discarded his fork and decided, as there were no witnesses at this time of night, his meal could be ingested just as well - and faster - as finger-food. He fisted the delicate roll and immediately stuck it into his mouth, too hungry to care about the mess he was making, and masticated noisily as he contemplated the night's sky and the passing aircraft, his mind again thinking of the three beings growing inside his stomach. They already had heartbeats. And moved. His chest was tender because his body was preparing to feed them... Zero thought he was going to be sick again. How was he even going to take care of them? Did he even want to?

  
_"What are their sexes?"_

_  
"It's too early to tell. When you come back it should be about time then."_

  
"If they are girls maybe they'll have a chance. I don't know how I'll react if they are boys," Zero said aloud, thinking of his attacker and shuddering. The thought of seeing his face in theirs...

  
He froze as he thought he'd heard something outside the kitchen door. He listened carefully but heard nothing else. He pushed his hand into the container again but said aloud on a whim:

  
"Kaname. I know you're out there."

  
Of course he knew no such thing but nearly choked when the door slid open and in walked his boss looking a little ashamed of himself and nude from the waist up. Zero had a chance to notice the broad muscular shoulders and taut narrow stomach, the dark, fine hair at the pit of it that drew the eye to the low waistband of his black pyjama bottoms and elsewhere... before pulling his gaze away determinedly at the strange somersault his stomach did. What the hell?! Was he just admiring his boss' body...?!

  
"I saw the light. I wanted to see if you were okay."

  
"I'm fine, Kaname. Honestly, you're worse than a doting mother." In a fair world _you'd_ be the pregnant one...

  
"I... care that's all. You were very upset earlier."

  
Zero winced as he recalled his behaviour.

  
"I'm sorry about what I said. I was still upset by the news."

  
"...Of your thyroid problem."

  
"Yes. Turns out that I may gain quite a bit more weight before it gets better."

  
"Really?"

  
"I'll try to control it. I know the company frowns on that sort of th..."

  
"Are you saying you won't have it treated? Is that what you're telling me?" Kaname asked urgently coming forward to stand just in front of Zero. The other man raised his head to stare at the anxious brunette in surprise. What was his problem? Zero blinked uncomfortably and lowered his gaze to his container. It felt weird. Like they weren't talking about thyroid conditions.

  
"He said my body will adjust eventually. Maybe in a year... or so. If it is a problem..."

  
"No! Not at all! I... I'm glad you'll be okay."

  
Zero looked up again at the smile he'd heard in Kaname's voice and was mesmerised by the wide careless expanse of it. His perfect teeth gleamed in the subdued lighting, the corners of his eyes crinkling adorably. Zero noticed he'd had a haircut but the longer untamed strands tumbled over his forehead and over his dark eyes making him seem much younger, more handsome. That and the dimples... Dimples? Zero looked down again. Again catching himself staring at his boss.

  
"Such concern. I'm touched. Really," he drawled sarcastically to cover his unease. "Good help must be hard to find."

  
Kaname looked away as well, seemingly not knowing what to do with himself. If he could have jumped and whooped without looking more suspicious he would have. He'd been unable to think of anything else since four o'clock this afternoon and didn't have a wink of sleep up to now. Zero's reaction had troubled him. Now it was going to be alright. For now.

  
"This is really good. I can't stop eating it."

  
"I told you. It's an old Japanese family recipe. My parents brought it with them when they immigrated."

  
"You're Japanese?"

  
"Can't you tell?"

  
No, Zero thought, but smiled ambiguously. Kaname laughed, knowing the answer anyway. Westerners were clueless. He pulled a chair next to Zero and surprised him completely by sticking his hand into the container and removing a large piece of fish. Zero guessed he probably hadn't eaten either.

  
"It must have been devastating for your parents when it happened."

  
Kaname lost his smile but shrugged and continued to eat. It had been a long time ago.

  
"Yes it was. I was seventeen at the time. I remember my mother wailing and wailing as she rocked on the floor of the kitchen where she'd fallen while my father stood there quietly. I remember trying to get her off of the floor and begging him to help me but he wouldn't. It was only later I realised he was the more affected by the news of his country of birth ceasing to exist, his family gone... He wouldn't speak more than two words at a time for months afterward while my mother seemed to rebound and handle everything, including him."

  
"You must take after your mother then," Zero said, just for something to say, wishing he wouldn't sit so close. His thigh brushed his when he leaned in to reach the container.

  
"Actually I try, but I'm more the sensitive soul of my father. I'm slow to make friends but when I do I'm yours for life. It's the same way I fall in love."

  
Zero gasped as his fingers were accidentally brushed by a too warm hand, just as these words were said in that low quiet tone next to his ear. His stupid stomach did another somersault and Zero decided he'd had enough. He may have a womb, but he'd be damned if a small drawback like that would make him behave like some blasted female. He grabbed another portion from the container and scraped the chair back noisily on the warm tile.

  
"It's late and I have a few things to do today before I return to full servitude. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll retire."

  
"Okay. Good night, Zero."

  
"Good night, Mr. Kuran."

  
"Oh, so it's like that. I wonder what I've done this time."

  
Zero didn't answer. He marched towards the door and was soon away to the safety of his room, knowing without looking back, that Kaname would have a small, smug smile on his face without a single trace of doubt.

 

to be continued


	5. Charlotte

Charlotte

 

 **"I CAN'T** do this."

  
"Yes you can. You are doing fine. Your vitals are satisfactory, your hormone levels are good and you are gaining weight normally..."

  
"I'm huge! Everyone is laughing at me and worse; I can't stop eating! If I'm not snacking on something utterly disgusting I feel like my life is over. You'd said you would help me!"

  
"Perhaps I was a little economical with the truth..."

  
"WHAT!!!??"

  
"Zero, you have to realise your body is trying to build four human beings..."

  
"Don't remind me. I don't know how you could have made such a mistake..."

  
"She was hiding behind her brother and I was a little distracted by your reaction..."

  
"Were you? I'm sorry if my mother's little boy was a _little_ distraught on getting the news of carrying triplets..."

  
"Quadruplets now. You're going to be okay. I'll see you in two weeks..."

  
"So soon?"

  
"Yes. We can't take any chances with multiples births. I would make it once a week but I know that's not possible. What's the problem?"

  
"You have to ask? He's sitting outside."

  
"I know. I think it's wonderful the CEO is being so supportive of you. You know, he is rather nice once you get to know him. He even called me to see if there was anything he could do to make you more comfortable."

  
"He thinks it's only a thyroid problem and yet he's keen to... He _what?!_ That..." Zero paused as he was rather robbed of breath from the onerous exercise of sitting up off the examination table and swinging his legs onto the floor. The examination was over and he had to use the facilities as well. Turns out the newest member of Zero obsessive whine-fest was lying right on top of his bladder, not that they all weren't but Zero reserved his ire, present and future, for her. Okay! Al-most there. "...Bastard! What right does he have to barge into my business...?"

  
"I told him you needed regular breaks, to make sure you ate wholesome, healthy meals and not to make you do anything too strenuous. It was harmless."

  
"Harmless?!  What must he think?"

  
"Not that you are pregnant, I'm sure."

  
"Still, I can't get away from him. A simple check-up on my 'thyroid' and he insisted on coming with me. He even offered to rub my swollen feet! I want to kill him."

  
"It sounds perfectly wonderful.  Are you elevating your feet when you can?"

  
"Yes, Doctor. I follow your instructions to the letter," Zero related tiredly, heading for the door. He may be griping endlessly but... he really wanted them to be okay. Even Charlotte – the girl currently nestling into his bladder. Yes, he'd name them, at Dr. Rosenberg's insistence, and had grown quite protective of his "little bundles of joy".  He'd even gotten into the habit of speaking to them at night when he thought no-one would hear.  Despite how mind-blowingly harrowing this experience has been he'd realised they were innocent even if their conception was... not. They were helpless and needed his protection and he would give it to them. He was also swept up in his doctor's enthusiasm. The man had called every night...!

  
"I'll call later and see how you're doing."

  
Zero, as he gained the door, threw the studiously oblivious doctor an exasperated glance. He'd just examined him! Between him and Kaname he was sure to go insane! Zero secretly smiled, however and left, closing the door. He supposed, if he had been a woman, he would be very lucky indeed.  And no, he wasn't conceding that point just yet.

 

 

 **"ARE YOU** okay?"

  
"Yes. He said the weight was normal for my condition but he wants to see me again in two weeks."

  
"Fine."

  
Zero stopped walking as Kaname pulled out his i-assistant and spoke into it, asking it to note the date and time of the next appointment. Now this was getting ridiculous.

  
"Kaname, we need to talk."

  
"Yes?" Kaname answered distractedly, as he opened the door and waited for Zero to pass. Turns out there was a scheduling conflict he needed to shift. They headed out into the corridor as Kaname worked on the small, imperious gadget.

  
"It's obvious that I can't work as I should. I'll need to leave your employ for health reasons. I'll be sending you my month's..."

  
"Wait. Just hold on a moment, Zero."

  
Zero stood in the hallway quietly as Kaname completed his small battle with the gadget. It was another five minutes before it seemed they'd come to terms they both could live with. Then Kaname looked up at him, pocketing his small object with some fatalism. Zero unconsciously decided to inspect his shoes to avoid the close-up of Kaname's dark gaze. Kept him from being distracted by stupid stuff...

  
"I can make it but we'll have to leave right afterward. There's a WGB progress meeting I must attend..."

  
"Did you hear what I just said, Kaname?" Zero asked looking up at the delusional person before him, forgetting about proximity in the face of a fight.

  
"Yes," Kaname said calmly, simply confirming the query and nothing more. Zero's eyes narrowed as if got the most surreal feeling.

  
"Is that all you're going to say?"

  
"Yes. What would you like to have for your late afternoon snack? The restaurant is fine with me or we can have the 'bot produce something at the apartment..."

  
"Kaname, are you going to accept the resignation?"

  
Kaname sighed. It looked as though they would get into the argument here after all.

  
"No. I'm not. We have a deal. I'm not satisfied you can't do the job or there is sufficient reason to leave. Therefore I will hold you to your contract."

  
The bastard!

  
"Kaname, listen to me. I'm unfit for work..."

  
"You work fine. There's nothing strenuous you have to do, nothing has happened to your brain. I allow you take as many breaks as you need when it becomes too tiring..."

  
"That's right! You don't even let me go out with you anymore! You have to visit all the construction points yourself. When you return you're exhausted and barely able to..."

  
"That's how I want it, Zero. Don't worry. I am capable to solving anything I perceive as a problem. This isn't one. Come on, I know you must be hungry..."

  
Kaname turned and walked away down the hallway fully expecting Zero to follow him. He turned around when he didn't hear his distinctive "shuffling". Zero still had his old grace but the weight gain made him a little lazy where lifting his feet was concerned. He saw Zero standing there incredulously staring at him.

  
"What's the matter?"

  
Zero approached him, still keeping eye contact. Well, he was furious.

  
"You tell me you're my long lost relative: father or mother, maybe a sibling. Tell me you're a guardian angel or the tooth fairy. Tell me what you've got at stake in me that you can't see that this isn't working. Tell me what you get out of this or so help me I'll have you committed. Because this is insane...!"

  
"What's the matter?" Kaname asked, deliberately calm, almost bored in his delivery. He was normally level headed unless there was some unacceptable frustration but he'd learned to relate to Zero very calmly and reasonably when the other was angry. The volatile youth was more apt to leave if Kaname went on his usual devastating offensive and that was hardly productive. He'd learnt that a conversation was more likely to ensue if he forgot his own ego, even if Zero didn't show him the same courtesy. Still, it was excellent strategy after all, level heads won wars. "Are you complaining about the fact that you still have a job and somewhere to live? What are you going to do when you leave? You won't be covered by our health plan and you haven't much in the way of savings…"

  
"That's my problem, Mr. Kuran," Zero ground out, clenching his fists in fury. "I'll thank you to stay out of my business…"

  
"Do you have any complaints about the way I am handling your illness?"

  
A simple question, which floored Zero. He seemed like a beached fish for a while as he thought about it. "No. But…"

  
"Alright, which means the work environment is not the problem. Is it the living arrangements?"

  
Zero folded his arms. Kaname had this way of making him feel irrational and silly. Sure, if you put it like THAT… "No…"

  
"Then don't leave. There doesn't seem to be an advantage to doing so and it would only set me back. I would have to interview, get used to working and living with someone else and there are only eight more months to go…"

  
"I'm sorry. It's impossible. My condition will only get worse," Zero finally interrupted, trying to remember the danger involved in gestating with unreliable witnesses around. He turned to go into the elevator, knowing he wouldn't win this argument. "I can recommend Kain. He's quiet, neat and doesn't have to pee every five minutes…"

  
"I don't want Kain or Souen, I've told you that," Kaname replied, not wanting to show his irritation at Zero raising this perfectly reasonable point constantly. "Look, what about staying until you absolutely can't work. By then we should have worked out most of the design kinks…"

  
"No. Ground floor." Zero said firmly, thinking maybe he should take a ride and get away from the stubborn brunette. He hated having to do this but it was dangerous to stay. He could lose his liberty. Or worst, people he knew could find out about this and beg him to help them. He didn't want to become pregnant again. This was unfortunate but he fully intended to resume being a man after he delivered these babies. Let someone else worry about the human race's extinction. Zero thought about how he'd barely donated a hundred dollars to those starving villages in Canada. He wasn't about to get embroiled in saving humanity.

  
Kaname saw his intention. He immediately overrode the command.

  
"Penthouse."

  
"Sure, we could drop you off first…"

  
"Why don't we discuss this over your pre-dinner snack? I'll let you have extra cucumber and mayonnaise in your sausage wrap."

  
Kaname could see Zero wavering at this bribe. He was most likely very hungry and this was his main craving, followed closely by salted kumquats.

  
"I suppose... I could take a walk later..."

 

 **ZERO** sighed gratefully as he bit into his second sausage wrap. He didn't know why these salad filled, meat constitute sandwiches simply "did it" for him. The slightly sour satisfying crunch of the cucumber and the creamy goodness of the mayonnaise made them nigh irresistible. He could eat these all day every day. Only Kaname got in his way, insisting he eat other "healthier" alternatives. Zero met Kaname's stubborn gaze with renewed purpose.

  
"I'm not changing my…"

  
"Are you comfortable? Do you want another cushion? You know you should support your back properly."

  
Zero blushed and looked away, forgetting to take another bite, which was unusual. He was reminded – deliberately – of the time last week when Kaname had returned unexpectantly to see him on all fours, his expanding behind spread to the max inside his trousers – the increased female hormones made him gain weight in odd places – groaning in near orgasmic bliss as his back eased out of a spasm. He carried his weight differently, his back taking up much of the strain, with undignified consequences. He recalled as Kaname had rushed to him, thinking he had fallen only to have him explain about his back strain. Zero'd had the agonizing experience of having to get to his feet unaided as his boss pressed his face into a cushion and began to gyrate tellingly, dissolving repeatedly as he looked up at the irate silver-haired youth standing over him with increasingly murderous intentions. And he wanted him to stay? He'd only just returned to speaking directly to him.

  
Kaname smiled as he scored his victory but then did a strange thing, he pulled a small footstool over to where Zero sat lounging in the easy chair, his legs elevated by the built in mechanism. He then took hold, gently, of one sock-encased foot and began to knead it firmly. Zero immediately tried to retrieve his foot but to no avail. However, he soon found he didn't want to…

  
"God…" he groaned, relaxing into the seat.

  
"Feels good, doesn't it? Now you know what you've been missing."

  
Zero opened one eye to look at Kaname as he switched to his calf, simply because he was too lazy to open both. He took a bite of his wrap and munched, thinking this was the life.

  
"Where'd you learn to do that?"

  
"Study. Some practice…" Kaname switched to the other leg, enjoying Zero's soft adulatory swearing before he said nonchalantly. "We kept up close contact with our surrogate. For that sort of money we insisted. She often complained of aching feet and swelling as a result of her pregnancy, so I learn how to help her. And quite a lot besides that. About pregnancy."

  
Zero stopped chewing and sat up pulling away his foot. He quite unconsciously covered his stomach with his free hand before saying.

  
"You really are a mass of contradictions. Who knew you were such a sucker? Look, I have to go…"

  
"You know what I am getting at, Zero. I know that you are pregnant..."

  
"What? That's absurd! Who ever heard of a man…?!"

  
"…and I want to help you." That's right. Stay calm.

  
"You're the one that needs help!" Zero shouted, trying to pull himself out of the chair. "You are so desperate to have a child you see signs everywhere! Do I have to show you my massive dick?!"

  
"Your sudden resignation from GE, then your obvious symptoms. Don't insult your intelligence by denying it further. No-one has to visit the doctor every two weeks for a 'thyroid condition'."

  
"I quit, Kaname. Effective immediately. My health is my own concern as well as how I treat it!"

  
Zero exited the small salon and headed to his quarters to pack. Kaname caught up with him easily.

  
"Where are you going to go? Who else are you going to risk seeing you like this? Do you need the stress of worrying about that? You could lose them! I can protect you! I can take care of you…!"

  
"'Them'? You said 'them'?"

  
"…No. 'Him'. You misheard me…"

  
Zero stopped and looked back at Kaname. His face showed the grim realization. Dammit! How could he have been so stupid!

  
"Spying on me! My conversations… You son of a bitch!"

  
Kaname looked away from Zero's horrified face. He'd made a bad slip. He'd hoped to handle this by suggesting logical observations. Now he really looked like a creep. "I'm sorry…"

  
Zero turned again to go. He had to run now before it was too late. Kaname reached out again to stop him.

  
"No! Wait! I didn't mean…! I'd just wanted to make sure you were okay. Then I'd found out and couldn't resist following up. It's remarkable! Nothing I can do would give me the power to create life! I just want to help you do it…!"

  
"In exchange for what? Huh?" Zero demanded, but not stopping his packing. They'd gained his room and Zero immediately had gone for his bag. "Are you looking to get 'something' out of all the 'help' that you provide? Is that it? Maybe sweeten the deal with a huge sum only you can offer?"

  
"No. I just want you to have them. I only want to make sure that happens. I will do anything. Give you anything…"

  
Kaname stopped as Zero paused in his frantic movements. He turned to look straight at him.

  
"That's familiar. You offering anything to get me to go with you. Now you're offering anything to get me to stay. You never really interviewed anyone else for this 'position', did you?"

  
"You were the best…"

  
"Bullshit. That odd interview.  You already knew! That explains …"

  
Zero trailed off. He grabbed his bag suddenly, uncaring of what was left behind and made to leave. Kaname barred the door. Zero prepared to go through him, already swinging the heavy bag but he was clumsy. Kaname dodged it easily and pushed…

  
"Oh fuck…"

  
Zero grabbed his stomach as he slammed into the wall. He doubled over, his eyes glazed in pain. Kaname came over to him, grabbing him firmly to inspect him. He just barely stamped down his panic. How could he have been so stupid? He'd only reacted. Unthinkingly. Forgetting…

  
"No!  You fucking asshole!  Don't touch me...!"

  
"Don't be foolish. We need to make sure you're okay."

  
"The babies you mean. I can't believe I was so stupid…"

  
"Can you walk?"

  
"I…"

  
Kaname found the strength from somewhere, lifting the youth into his arms and taking him over to the bed.

  
"Call the doctor. Have him come up here now!" Kaname screamed as Zero lost consciousness.

  
 _"Yes, Sir,"_ the calm automated voice replied before doing just that.

 

 

 **"HE'LL BE OKAY**. Just some slight bruising. He's asleep now. Call me when he wakes up."

  
"…Okay. Is there anything else? What about…?"

  
"What?"

  
"Nothing." He couldn't even ask. He had no right to.

  
"Okay. Later." The doctor turned to leave, his face frowning in suspicion. He hoped that Zero really was safe here but when he'd ask Zero about the incident he'd only say he'd tripped. He hoped it wasn't domestic troubles. Zero didn't need that type of stress in his life right now.

  
Kaname watched the doctor leave then immediately went into the bedroom. Zero was indeed sleeping, snoring peacefully. Kaname approached and, unable to stop himself, placed his hand on Zero's stomach. The bump was still there. The babies were okay…

  
"Relieved?"

  
Kaname nearly leapt out of his skin. Zero sat up and folded his arms over his stomach all while defiantly looking at the distraught brunette. Kaname pulled himself together.

  
"What can I do to…?"

  
"Did you rape me?"

  
"No! Of course not…!"

  
"What did you do, then?  WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!!"

  
"You were inseminated. You were knocked out and taken to a specially prepared room…"

  
"Was it Dr. Rosenberg?"

  
"No. I got someone else to do it."

 

"Who?"

 

"Does it matter?"

 

"No.  I guess not.  He was just the instrument.   _You're_ the depraved fuck-wit...!"

  
"I'm sorry, Zero.  I really am.  But I couldn't risk your saying 'no'..."

 

"You couldn't risk giving me a choice about what happens to my body?!   _Who the hell do you think you are?_!"

 

"I am someone that can give you anything you want.  Money, a job, status.  All you have to do is have these children.  That's all you have to do."

  
"You're sick, you know that?  Was it your idea to discard me in the stairwell like a piece of trash?  Oh wait, of course it was..."

 

"I was there the entire time.  I was just one level up from you watching you and the only door that was accessible was the one you exited from to go back to your apartment.  I'm sorry, but I couldn't risk your knowing about the pregnancy yet or its pointing back to me.  Not until they were..."

 

"Heaven forbid you had any risk in this, _Mr. Kuran_.  God, I sincerely hope you rot in hell…"

  
"What are you going to do?" Kaname interrupted, tired of not having a answer to his main concern.  "What are you going to do about them?"

  
Zero lowered his fevered gaze. He still hadn't decided. This was different. Not by much but different.  These were _his_ children.  He's the one that had haunted his nightmares since it happened, the one he'd been cursing since he'd found out about this improbable development.  It hadn't been a random, crazy, dangerous psychopath but that's the only thing that had changed about this situation.  The randomness.

  
"You can have anything. Anything..."  Kaname began again, hardly aware that he was begging.  He thought he'd been focusing on diffusing the situation, having no idea how upset he was until he felt tears running down his face.  He swiped at them impatiently, hating to concede his weakness.  But yes, he was terrified.  Absolutely terrified of what Zero would do.  He wanted them badly.  That much was obvious, wasn't it?  The lengths he'd gone to were abominable.  But... he'd do it again.  The way he saw it, Zero just had to give up a few months of his life in exchange for giving him the one thing he wanted most in the world.  He could understand that, surely?  But he didn't have to understand.  The fact remained that he was here, furious and accusing... and carrying his children!  It was worth it.  Worth every penny he'd no doubt exact from him to clear up his _righteous indignation_.

  
"Do you understand what you did? Do you even get what you did to me? Just because you can it doesn't give you the right to kidnap people and impregnate them! I'll bet you are counting on the fact that it's my word against the CEO of Global Engineering and that I'd have to admit I have a uterus!  That's right, isn't it...?!"

  
"Remember what I'd said about my family? Well, my father killed himself a few years after the attacks but not before taking most of his family with him, including my mother. He didn't think we should have lived when so many had died, couldn't get over his guilt… I was spared because I was away at school and was delayed a day getting home because of the weather. He couldn't even wait until I got home…!"

  
"Great. You _ARE_ insane…!"

  
"It's only a few more months," Kaname interrupted, taking himself in hand. He didn't expect Zero to understand his own guilt, his own sense of responsibility… "Carry them to term and you can name your price."

  
"What?!  Are you suggesting I sell them to you?!"

  
Kaname was taken aback at this. What else was he going to do?

  
"I don't understand. They are mine."

  
"No. They are MINE. If I do carry them to term, Charlotte, Emily, Stephen and Dean are my responsibility.  And I'd give them to up to whomever for adoption before I gave them to you!"

  
"Perhaps I should remind you of the situation you yourself are in. If you don't give me what's mine you will find you won't even have the chance to kiss them. I am their fath…!"

  
"Don't bother to threaten me, Mr. Kuran. I already have a low enough opinion of you."

  
Kaname surged forward, going to grip Zero's shoulders. The youth smacked his hands away with contempt and rolled away, getting to his feet to search for his clothing. Kaname was immediately contrite. He walked around the bed to the man who was awkwardly stuffing his legs into his pants.

  
"I'm sorry, Zero. Look, if we discuss this I'm sure we can come to some arrangement…"

  
"I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm going for some air…"

  
"Please, Zero. Please understand why I did it. You'd once said you could."

  
"But that was before I knew you were the scum of the earth, Kaname."

  
Zero pushed him aside and this time Kaname let him go, mindful of what had happened earlier. Maybe he just needed some time to think. He wouldn't hurt them. He had already named them. Kaname comforted himself with this knowledge, remembering how amused and touched he had been when he'd first heard Zero referring to them by name. He had known then that they were truly safe. That he would protect them…

  
"Charlotte…?"

  
He didn't recall hearing… Kaname opened his eyes wide at this and ran from the room. He had said four names! Four!  He was carrying four...  There was no way he'd let him out of his sight!

 

to be continued


	6. Fears and Tears

Fears and Tears

 

 **INSTEAD OF GOING OUTSIDE FOR HIS WALK** – this would entail donning an air filtering mask as dust often blew from the neighbouring badlands that still had measurable amounts of radioactive material and wearing sunscreen – Zero decided to get off on level three and walk through the shopping centre instead. In fact, hardly any of the users of this particular building ventured outside unless it was absolutely necessary. Unless you lived off the premises, visited family or had to travel, everything was available in safe, sheltered, clean, air conditioned comfort within the several hundred storeys of the GE building. Many other modern buildings followed this example. It certainly cut down on the skin and lung cancer prevalence.

  
Zero ignored the stares from people as he strolled along. He suspected they wouldn't think he was incubating but rather that he was getting fat. This was hardly much better as this inherent disregard for one's health and the resources available to the society by being such a potential drain was very much frowned upon by the WGB. However, it wasn't an offense that caused one to lose one's liberty – although they had tried to make it so until cooler heads prevailed. The worst that could happen was that someone would report it to your boss that you were skipping the "recommended" gym hour and you could be suspended for a few weeks without pay. Zero figured, as he pretty much had his boss over a barrel he needn't worry. He was trying to get away from the bastard anyway.

  
It was an odd decision he was making and he was aware of it. Any person in their right mind would leave. No question. But… Zero sighed, biting his lower lip as his beautiful grey eyes darkened with worry.  Kuran was right in many respects. He hadn't the resources to hide and take care of four infants. Not really. He supposed anyone would choose to go to their parents but how would he even explain having four babies in tow. Or giving birth with his mother there…? Zero shuddered and tried to find another option. Maybe Kain would help…? Nah. Kain hardly had money to support himself much less five other people. Besides, he lived in a company apartment and Zero knew what privacy was like in those. He'd be right under Kaname's nose.

  
Zero sighed again and rounded a corner, still deep in thought. He did have a few dollars. He could rent an apartment for a few months… but that was all. When he had quit GE he had counted on finding another position fairly soon. But from his reading he knew he'd have another five months and then at the very least another three months leave to take care of them. That was eight months hiding and starving. The way things looked, he would have to stay with Kaname – who had gotten him into this mess and was filthy rich – or go live with his parents. Zero began to wonder if he could bring himself to stand to let his mother see his naughty bits…

  
Zero looked up out of his reverie to notice the novelty store across from where he stood. Not that he had much of a hankering for small plastic trinkets. Actually what caught his eye was the array of baby apparel and accoutrements. He even spotted a baby carrier for a twin, noting he'd probably need about two of those. Zero rubbed his stomach thoughtfully, especially where Dean had begun to change his position for the day – the others merely tolerated his rebellious tendencies and stretched their limbs around Zero's bedtime – and hesitantly edged toward the store. He realised he had to start thinking about what all this stuff would cost, start thinking like a real parent. He would need bottles, diapers and at least one change of clothing…

 

 

**"CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?"**

****  
Zero was a tad flustered. It wasn't just the prices although he'd nearly had the kids there and then when he'd looked at the price of the sailor suits. He was surrounded by caps, bibs, plastic pants, shirts, skirts, pants, sailor's suits, normal suits and christening dresses, booties in cotton, wool and poly-blend in pinks, blues, yellow, chartreuse, and egg-shell green, blankets and towels with or without cups… And what size? There were newborn garments but his kids wouldn't be that size coming out, would they? And what if they grew? He would run out of money by the second week…

  
"No. I'm just looking around…"

  
"Expecting a child? How glorious! We have a mailing list you know. New things come in all the time!"

  
"No. Thank you." Zero thought he and Dr. Rosenberg needed to talk.

  
"Come on now. Such a harmless thing. What did you say your name was?"

  
"I didn't… Hey! Let go of me!" Zero was well panicked when the "kindly" gentleman began to firmly lead him towards the back of the store. He reached to grab his wrist and swing but was held securely by another man. Oh no. Not good. If he wasn't mindful of the danger of having his stomach punched or falling over he probably would have been a little more forceful.

  
_Just answer their questions and relax. You're a man. A man…_

  
"Come on. At least tell me what surrogacy program the expectant mother belongs to. I could swing you a deal."

  
"I was only looking, okay? I was curious. Just killing time. It is no use interrogating me."

  
"Maybe we should just 'chip' you and search your house? Is she hiding at home?"

  
"No! Stop! Let go of me, you fucking bastards…!"

  
"Zero! Zero, honey! So this is where you got to?"

  
All the men spun around, stunned by the interruption, to see a fairly enthusiastically waving brunette bearing down on them.  His cap was pulled low on his face but was twisted to a side in a flamboyant gesture that matched the large expanse of bare midriff his high-knotted T-shirt revealed.  The men were quite stunned by the developments, to say the least.  One aspect being that hardly anyone ventured into this area. Who cared about baby clothing these days except for those few who needed them? Most days no-one even looked in this direction. To now have two visitors was... extraordinary.

  
Zero too was stunned. Did he just call him… _HONEY_?!

  
"Where are you going with these… _large_ men, precious?"

  
Kaname looked down speculatively at the package of the one closest to him and then up into his eyes. At which point the "large" man in question stepped away from him in haste. Kaname shrugged and hooked "precious" into a long kiss. When he was finished Zero's arms were curiously free.

  
Zero didn't say anything. He couldn't. His boss' tongue was just down his throat. His... tongue…

  
"That's just to remind you who you belong to. Poor dear, did these men upset you that much?" Kaname turned to check out the other man who seemed quite intimidated by the frank scrutiny. He cleared his throat to answer before things got any more awkward.

  
"We were just asking a few questions. He came into the baby goods department. We wanted to know how we could help…"

  
"Zero!" Kaname screeched – loudly - in disappointment, as he pinched Zero's cheeks and shook his head from side to side, turning many heads in their direction. The men looked ready to bolt. "I've told you already that we've just only submitted the application! Now you're trying to buy clothes?! It could be months before we find out anything!"

  
Years, the men thought looking at each other in disgust. One was fat and the other was obviously a flaming homosexual. There was no way they would even receive an encouraging answer. Competition was stiff genetically.

  
"I…" Understand, this response was pretty good considering Zero's feelings right now.

  
"I'm sorry if he troubled you. He is so eager in so many ways…" Huge double entendre as Kaname bit his lip and again checked out the first man's physique…

  
"That's alright. We're here to help. Here's our card," the other man said quickly, as a desperate look shot from the first "large" man.  He then ushered the two "lovers" towards the door. "Call us when you get any news. Alright?"

  
"Sure thing! I just love the ambiance in this place, don't you, Zero? I think I'll visit again…"  Kaname twisted his tongue visibly for the first man to see, indicating what he'd be looking for on the next occasion, but sadly the response wasn't encouraging.

  
"Yes, well… Thanks for coming."

  
Zero's jailer practically shoved them outside and watched as they eventually moved off into the crowd. Kaname pulled Zero along, swaying his hips enticingly until he rounded the corner…

  
"What the devil….?" Zero choked.

  
Kaname raised his finger to his lips and hauled Zero into a nearby men's toilet. He checked the stalls and the walls before pulling him into a corner.

  
"What…?"

  
"I really liked those men! They made me so horny…!"

  
"Kan…!"

  
Kaname shushed him again and continued to carefully search Zero, starting with his hair and carefully combing his jacket.

  
"Where else did they touch you, sugar?

  
"Just my arms…"

  
"Let me kiss them…"

  
Kaname lifted Zero's hands and inspected them closely all while making kissing noises. Zero wanted to throw up. Eventually, though, he seemed to find something.

  
"Oh, yes. YES!! Harder…!"

  
He pulled Zero over to the sink and shoved his hand under the tap all while scraping an area of skin roughly. Zero winced but figured out why. He had been tagged.

  
"That's so much better! Let's go."

  
"Yes…"

  
Kaname turned and marched toward the door, all while quickly adjusting his clothing, only stopping to wait for Zero to join him. Aside from the angry flush to his face he was back to normal. But Zero wasn't. His lips still tingled from the rough sucking…

  
"Come on. They'll be here soon to check on it."

  
"Yes… Okay."

 

 

 **THE ELEVATOR RIDE UP** to the penthouse was tense to say the least but nothing compared to when they'd eventually entered the suite and closed the door.

  
"You haven't the slightest clue what you almost did, do you!!!"

  
Zero had already braced himself for the eruption. Kaname had been too quiet and wouldn't look at him. Still, he defended himself.

  
"How was I supposed to…?"

  
"You thought you could just go into a store and pick out baby clothes? Who did you think they would think they were for?"

 

"I was just looking! I had no idea…"

 

"No you don't!! And that's what scares me!! You want to leave and you haven't the foggiest on how to even go about doing this…!"

  
"And you do, I suppose…"

  
"Of course I do!! I certainly wouldn't have walked into an obvious enforcement trap! I had five minds to leave you there! Did you even look at the personnel? They were all carrying weapons!"

  
"Alright! I'm sorry! I've never done this before…!"

  
"Clearly! God-dammit!"

  
Kaname walked over to a chair and sat, leaning over to brace his head in his hands. His hands still shook. Still…

  
"Thanks for what you did, Mr… Kaname. I didn't notice anything.  I was only thinking about what to do, how to manage and then I saw the store and… I was only thinking of what I needed for them…"

  
"I… can get you… whatever you need," Kaname managed, slowly and emphatically. He was still very upset. He could gleefully strangle him! "Just… ask me."

  
"That's just it! I don't want to! Look at what you did to me! I can't trust you…!"

  
Kaname stood and walked away to the doorway, only beckoning Zero to follow him. Zero hesitated but eventually followed, his curiosity getting the better of him. He soon realised he was being led into the forbidden sanctum.

  
"Oh, no," Zero protested, coming to a halt outside Kaname's quarters. "I don't think I want to know EVERYTHING you've got to hide…"

  
Kaname didn't stop, though. He merely carried on into the room and disappeared into a door on the left that had slid open as he approached. It stayed open temptingly. That and the door to his quarters. The room wasn't too odd. A little too old fashioned for his tastes – there was actually wooden furniture in here and a fur rug, not to mention some ugly paintings of yellow flowers and dour people, and an old-fashioned king-sized bed near another closed door. The atmosphere was warm and inviting and soon Zero felt silly standing there peeping in. He stepped over the threshold and the doors close resolutely behind him. Ah well, he'd come this far…

  
Zero made a wide berth of the rug and headed for the open door to where Kaname stood waiting inside a large closet. Zero wondered at the huge arrays of clothes, shoes and ties before closing his mouth and thinking something derogatory about rich people, until he noticed that Kaname was standing opposite a blind corner, the light on his face showing there was a recess of some sort he wanted him to see…

  
"Oh shit… Oh fucking shit…"

  
Zero forgot himself as he wandered into the "recess" which was a fairly sizable space with rows on either side of him of…

 

"You've got a secret stash of baby clothes? What the hell planet do you live on?!"

  
Kaname fidgeted uncomfortably but stayed where he was and Zero, realising he wouldn't get an answer turned back to look at the array, sizes, shapes, themes… He began to notice they were arranged according to size and maturity starting on his left, newborn apparel in various colours but mostly blue, graduating to fairly large sizes for maybe five or six year-olds. On the floor of the dark wood-trimmed room – must have cost a fortune – there were carriers, carriages and two tricycles. Zero walked over to a carriage and pushed it, almost thinking it would evaporate when touched. It was for a single child, maybe two if they squeezed a bit…

  
"I can get it modified, if you want it to be. Or a new one. I wasn't expecting four but it's nothing I can't handle. If there is anything missing let me know as well."

  
Zero spun around at this. How did he…? Zero rubbed where Dean was still trying to get comfortable and thought he wouldn't have the first clue what was missing.

  
"Yes…"

  
Zero turned back to the walls of shelves, looking at the variety, the neatly laid out clothing. He had been planning this for a long time, had wanted this more than anything. Everything was neat, dusted. Zero knew he should feel fear. This was extremely creepy, but… only felt sadness. These babies were already well loved… by their father. Well, the other one - Zero refused to concede that point either. He didn't think he wanted to be around him if anything happened to them…

  
Damn these hormones, he thought, as he suddenly turned and left, almost ploughing into Kaname who barely had time to get out of the way. He'd be damned if he was going to cry in front of him.

  
"Isn't time for the bedtime snack? Don't worry. I'll cook."

 

 

 **"WE REALLY SHOULD GO** back to the Amazon."

  
Kaname spoke up as he picked at the salad portion of the meal in solidarity. There was no way he could keep up with Zero's eating habits. He had an example to set.

  
Zero stopped mid-inhale of his four-tiered bacon, cheese and tomato sandwich and looked at Kaname in surprise. It was the first thing he'd said since they'd come out of his room. Zero guessed he was feeling a tad vulnerable at his finding out how pathetic he was. But Zero had made him a meal, asked him to sit with him and had generally been cordial, which meant – it seemed – that he was prepared to stay with the crazy son-of-a-bitch.

 

"Why? I could stay here…"

  
"It's secluded," Kaname interrupted quickly. Leaving Zero here alone was out of the question. "I chose it because, out there, I control everything. No incidents would occur like today."

  
"Oh." Yep, planned to a tee.

  
"I have a doctor there that is trained in obstetrics…"

  
"I like Rosenberg."

  
"He can help. But if you go into… labour there is someone there already."

  
"Kaname, I want a C-section. There is no way that anything the size of…"

  
"I know. I was told that the size, the recent scarring and the proximity to your… other paraphernalia made using… what you had as a birth canal impossible. You'd probably lose…"

  
"No. Don't. Tell me." God, he was almost putting him off his sandwich!

  
"You know. Besides, now that they are four, I don't want to risk a natural birth."

 

"Good. That and pain killers and I'll definitely try to be brave."

  
"I think you're doing very well already."

  
Zero looked away from the appearance of the dimples and tried to mask his discomfort. His mind went back to the kiss, trying to – objectively – assess whether it was good or not. Maybe it would explain his mood…

  
"Tomorrow. We head back. Alright?"

  
Zero realised he wouldn't be at ease until he answered. He also realised that Kaname was seeking his consent. It was his turn to smile, albeit smugly. He nodded once and Kaname's smile became one of relief. He suddenly looked years younger from this act alone and Zero knew that Kaname must be under his own pressures and was doing all he could to alleviate his, not that that was enough to forgive him.  Still, Zero grudgingly thought Kaname would enjoy getting to know them, as a "thank you" for saving him today.  He stood, sandwich in hand and walk around the table, pulling up his shirt just enough to reveal his stretched stomach.

  
"Here.  Give me your hand."

  
Kaname looked ready to bolt, but surprised himself by staying where he was and looking straight at the protruding belly button.  Zero bent and grabbed one paralysed limb and placed the hand on his stomach.

  
"That's Emily. I think she's going to be a kick-boxer. Those are her legs you feel there."

 

Kaname stayed immobile and Zero was beginning to wonder if he had been mistaken about him when he noticed the tears. He nearly dropped his sandwich. Why was he crying?

  
"I can't," he whispered. "What if… it happens again…?"

  
Zero ignored the stupid tug on his heart and immediately became businesslike. He moved Kaname's hand to the gentle vibrations he was feeling near his ribs.

  
"This is Stephen. He and his two sisters like a bit of aerobics around this time of night. This is Dean. He's had his exercise and is probably wishing the neighbours would pipe down."

  
Kaname gave a watery chortle at this. Both hands rose to Zero's stomach and lips just briefly touched it… Zero pulled away a little. That was too weird…

  
"And this is Charlotte.  Here. We have an ongoing battle over the real estate of my bladder. One I intend to win."

 

"Fight hard, Charlotte," Kaname whispered, chuckling now.

  
"Don't encourage her!" Zero cried in mock horror. Kaname leaned in closer.

  
"She's my little princess and can have anything she wants." And with that a small… kiss, just above…

  
Zero pulled away abruptly and sat back down, making short work of his sandwich. Dammit! He could feel the sensation of that right to his toes. This hypersensitivity was robbing him of his sanity.

  
"I'm exhausted. I think I'll turn in."

  
"Me too. Don't worry about this. I'll take care of it…"

  
"Fine. Good night."

  
"Good night. And thanks."

  
Zero didn't answer. He was done with this god-damned bonding…

 

to be continued


	7. The Heart Wants...

The Heart Wants…

 

KANAME was on a conference call with the one remaining country left on the other side of the world: Australia – formerly southern Australia to be exact. (The more northern territories didn't escape the devastating nuclear attacks. However, it would forever be marveled at how quickly these people had rebounded from such a tragedy, setting a strong example for everyone else to follow. In fact, the first incarnation of the WGB had been stationed there before it moved to Paris for practical purposes after the reconstruction.) But still, he heard as Zero's chair slid back and the silver-haired youth pushed himself to his feet. Not that he was particularly loud. Zero was a professional after all: the workspace was hardly spacious and his boss was on a call, which was deliberately audio only, but he was also gaining a bit more control over his rapidly expanding body. He was used to the extra weight and awkward positioning and moved quite gracefully around the apartment, even though he still couldn't venture very far from the toilet and looked quite the ungainly sight getting in and out of vehicles – Kaname, to his credit, never laughed and merely offered to help, even though he was always shoved away with some violence.

 

Kaname was hardly very far away. Zero was painfully aware of how rarely he left to go and inspect the construction sites. He was constantly underfoot. If he wasn't offering to help him move around he was trying to get him his meals or rub his feet – Zero had to admit he looked forward to the massages but never did this aloud. It was often infuriating. Zero had even tried to brain him with his tube of moisturizer once in sheer frustration. It didn't help that he was trying to be so kind, patient and generous when Zero was trying to remember that he shouldn't be trusted or admired. Or liked… He could understand why he did it, even respect his genius, but Kaname could never make up for what he had done to him, robbing him of such a fundamental choice...

 

Zero padded over to the kitchenette in his loathed, orthopedically correct slip-ons - which he was sure made him look like a moron but alas he could no longer deal comfortably or singlehandedly with any other more complicated, fashion-forward footwear – and punched in an order for milk and chocolate covered biscuits, all under the surreptitious scrutiny of his boss. Kaname didn't know when it had happened – Zero was hardly doing much to amuse anybody by simply moving around in barely tolerated discomfort – but he loved to watch him do so. When Zero didn't think he was looking, he seemed to glow, to be quietly contented with some wonderful secret. But of course it wasn't only Zero that fascinated him. It was the knowledge of what, or rather who he was carrying, nurturing into existence. It carried its own excitement for him to watch how the apparent miracle unfolded. From the more exciting visits to the doctor, or catering to his many requirements to the more mundane, simply watching him move around the apartment, favoring his distended stomach as he walked, or when he rubbed it whenever he felt one of them move as if in some sort of secret communication between them he'd never be privy to, or even when he cursed under his breath at some minor, irksome consequence... It was all because of these tiny beings inside of him that... belonged to _him_. Were _his_ children; a part of him and his line that would eventually live on always. Survive. As such, he couldn't get enough of watching, of being there for every moment. He was so grateful to him for this. Sometimes he felt almost overwhelmed by how much…

 

Zero was fairly oblivious to this or he would have insisted on another apartment by now. He just knew that Kaname was attentive but he never noticed how closely he was observed. As he waited patiently for the machine to sort him out he began to absently scratch his stomach. His severely overtaxed skin often made him quite uncomfortable. He had several tubes of lotion that Kaname had bought him but it only alleviated the discomfort for a little while and it became too much of a chore to dash to the bedroom simply to rub the right balance of aloe and lipid complex onto his stomach, especially when he was in the middle of an assignment. Besides, there was no guarantee it would stop the stretch marks. Stretch marks! He'll have stretch marks. Like some damned…

 

"I understand what you are saying, Monica but I have a deadline to keep. I can't simply drop everything and come over there. You'll have to fix it yourself."

  
Zero was startled by the sudden appearance of his boss to his right. Kaname lifted one finger to his lips and then undid the last few buttons on Zero's suit, then his shirt, all under physical protest…

 

"Ka…!"

 

Kaname clamped a finger covered in cocoa-butter scented goo over his lips before lowering himself to kneel on the floor in front of Zero.

 

"I can work out the specifications and send them to you. All you have to do is send me the assessment…"

 

Zero bit his lip, trying to hold back the torrent of abuse as Kaname began to rub his stomach gently, in round, even strokes, his large, soft hands starting at his sore underbelly near the elasticated waistband of his suit-pants, to sweep up over his navel his fingers just brushing the underside of his swollen, sensitive chest – Zero refused to concede he was developing breasts as well. It seems being _pregnant_ was all he was willing to take.

 

"Yes. I'm sure you're perfectly capable of handling this without my being there, Monica. No, don't throw it away. Polyplast can be remixed for other applications. Don't forget the exterior paving and the ground floor has to be done…"

 

Kaname stopped abruptly and looked up in excitement at Zero as he felt something, his dimples in evidence again. Zero, despite himself and his resolve to kick him as soon as he came off the call, found the corners of his mouths tugged up in answer to his gaze. He was such a little boy sometimes. Ever since the night Zero had let him touch his stomach there was no stopping him. Touches, listening with his ear pressed to it, even Zero would find his stomach being addressed directly. If it wasn't for the distinct feeling he liked this – liked him – more than he should, Zero would relax and let his crazy boss have his way.

 

"Sorry? Could you repeat thatpp?" Kaname asked, all while trying to…

 

No! No! Stop it! What's with the randomly pressed kisses to his stomach?! Zero closed his eyes briefly as an unbidden jolt of sensation spread from those warm lips, then shoved his boss away roughly. Did it escape him that it was attached to a man? Christ! He doubted hypersensitive pregnant women had issues with rogue erections…

 

"No. Let's try it this way first and then see what happens, alright? Maybe in another six months but not right now…"

 

Kaname could feel him: the gentle thumps of his tiny limbs. He'd memorized what "Dean" looked like from the ultrasound – well, once they knew he knew, who could keep him out? – and pictured his lazy stretching movements inside Zero's stomach all while his siblings slept.

 

"Glad you see it my way, Monica," Kaname said with some finality as he stood, at the same time buttoning Zero shirt. "I'll expect the first data in the morning. Goodbye."

 

Kaname ended the call and smiled at Zero, again enjoying his being privy to such a moment with his unborn child and with Zero... "Dean's awake."

 

"Yes. I know." Zero looked away uncomfortably. Kaname was standing too close and... What was he wearing? He smelled good...

 

"Were you getting something to eat?"

 

"Yes. You stopped me."

 

"I know. You never moisturize enough. It's why you are so sore…"

 

"That's not the only reason, Kaname," Zero jibed irritably as he pushed Kaname away to go to the machine. It could have something to do with being pregnant with quadruplets when he had no business being this way. He picked up his tray, then turned and threw it onto the counter in disgust. He was sick of generated food. He was sick of not having his body to himself. Not being able to control what it wanted. Anything it wanted…

 

"I'm going out. Alone," Zero added when Kaname looked around as if to prepare to come with him. "My workday is over, right?"

 

"You shouldn't be alone in your condition! What if…?"

 

"I'm just going for a short walk. If I so much as cramp I'll call you. Okay?"

 

Kaname stayed silent. Not liking this one bit. Zero really should be confined to bed but he wouldn't hear of it. He felt strong and looked stable but only one thing needed to go wrong. Kaname's joy gave way to fear in short order. Zero noticed he didn't answer and shot him a warning look.

 

"Stay here. I mean it. Don't piss me off."

 

Zero picked up his custom-made containment suit and headed for the door.

 

 **"YOU'VE GOT ONE HOUR.** If you're not finished just 'chip the panel over there."

 

"Thanks."

 

Zero waited for the overdone, red-headed "madam" of sorts to leave before he settled gratefully into the chair. His back was killing him. He'd walked for about an hour to get to the heart of the settlement – where a thriving set of businesses were set up to cater to the construction's every need, including the most basic. Zero had told himself he could do with a primitive over-seasoned meat sandwich or curry then found himself wandering over to a trailer with a sign marked "Partners". Maybe a show on what he should be lusting over would put him on an even keel.

 

It turns out that the "show" in question wasn't live. Zero sighed and leaned forward to the console, hoping it had been wiped down from earlier and began to select his desired match. He looked over the choices of hair, selecting brown then the same for eyes… Pretty soon it was obvious even to him what he was doing as the remarkable likeness confronted him onscreen.

 

"Yuuki."

 

Zero leaned back in the chair, disgusted with himself. Just when you thought you were over some people… He was behaving like Kain, for goodness sake; hankering after a mismatch like a moth to a flame. He reached out to erase the image when he got the overwhelming urge to see how she was doing. Just out of curiosity. For old time's sake. Maybe if she was deliriously happy he would be shocked into moving on…

 

 

**"ZERO! WOW!"**

 

"Hello, Yuuki. How are you?"

 

"Okay… Hey, are you in town?"

 

"No. I'm working on that project in the Amazon. You know…"

 

"Yes! Yes, I do! It was in the news recently in connection to a WGB meeting. This man was overseeing it. Um…"

 

"Kaname Kuran. He's my boss…"

 

"Yes. Is he married, do you know?"

 

"Why? Are you interested?" Zero hated how that sounded.

 

"No. It's just the girls at work…"

 

"No. He's divorced actually. Good luck to you. Look, I'm glad you're okay…"

 

"Wait, Zero. Don't go. Talk to me, please... Are you sure we can't meet? I can get a few days off…"

 

"It's not a good idea…"

 

"It's over, Zero. Hell, it never began. It was a mistake. He'd lied about… so many things…"

 

"I can't…"

 

"I love you. Only you. I was hoping you'd call again just so I can say that…"

 

"Yet you left the first chance you got! I don't care for that kind of love…!"

 

"He'd promised he could help me conceive, Zero. He said he'd helped loads of women. You know I just have the slight problem…"

 

"You should have known better! We'd been to doctors! Specialists!"

 

"I know! Don't you think I know that? I wanted to try. I figured I could try and then, when you saw that I could have your baby you would forgive me…"

 

"I… No… You're…"

 

Zero looked away from the screen, fighting for composure. There was no way she'd done that for him. Commonsense dictated it was a con. But he'd known Yuuki for years. Since they were kids. He was sure if any couple would have lasted it was them and then she'd left him. Just like that. It had taken every ounce of strength to continue.

 

"I have to go," Zero whispered, not looking up. He shouldn't have done this. Before he'd had no doubts. Now...

 

"I wish I had it all to do again, Zero. I wish I hadn't hurt you. That's what I regret most…"

 

"Goodbye, Yuuki. Take care."

 

"Zero, please…"

 

The monitor went blank and Zero sat back in the chair and let the fresh tears flow over his face. Her voice still echoed in his head, bringing up more memories of her voice, of her saying those words to him, how he'd felt. A sharp contrast to the dark pit he now felt in his soul. It was the reason he had no savings and no ambition. He'd had no future. Now the heart-ache burned afresh. He hated being lonely. He still… longed for her…

 

"Hey! Time's up! 'Chip up or get out…!"

 

The voice cut off abruptly and no-one disturbed him. He dried his eyes carefully and stood, wincing as his back still wasn't completely rested. He realized he was exhausted. He wanted to sleep so badly Bianca Jolie could walk in here and fall to her knees in front of him and he'd step over her. He opened the door and headed outside, dreading the long walk home…

 

"You…!"

 

Zero forgot everything at the sight of the simpering "Madam" and the moody, tall, dark and handsome man beside her that had all her attention and none of his.

 

"He came to look for you, knowing you weren't well! Isn't he a darling…?" She batted her gold and brown-accented green eyes and stuck out her augmented breasts. Kaname gave them a wide berth as he straightened.

 

"Are you ready?" Kaname interrupted, his clipped tones showing exactly what he thought of being caught undead in this place.

 

"Yes." Zero said, walking briskly toward the door. Ah well, at least for the next four months he wouldn't be alone.

 

to be continued


	8. Finland

Finland

 

 **KANAME’S** eyes opened in the still darkness and his mind went immediately to his primary concern. He buried his face sleepily into the crisp sheets debating whether he should give in to this obsessive need for reassurance when it obviously violated the other’s privacy, then decided that he was wasting time. He really wanted to know how he was, especially after his mood last night…

  
“Lakewood. Status.” There was no need to even ask on what. Kaname asked about nothing else in the wee hours of the morning.

  
_“Zero is at his desk working on the Depp variables he was assigned yesterday. He has been doing this for almost two hours since one-thirty seven a.m. local time.”_

  
Two hours? That would mean…

 

“What’s he doing up this time of night?!”

  
_“Sir, as I said he is…”_

  
“Sleep, Lakewood.”

  
_“Yes, Sir.”_

  
The computer resumed its dormancy as Kaname threw his legs over the side of the bed all while pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes to relieve the heady effects of deep slumber. Damn! Zero needed his rest. The Depp variables could have waited until the morning! Kaname stood and reached for a robe, he having elected to sleep only in his black silk boxers, being too tired to care about changing after escorting Zero – who had been in the grimmest of moods – home and staying up to finish some work as he anticipated being buried by data from the Sydney plant in the morning. He’d only had about two hours sleep himself. Zero must have come out just after he’d left the work area, which probably meant he had waited for him to go to bed. He probably hadn’t slept at all.

  
“The fool…” Kaname muttered, as he threw the garment over his shoulders, sticking his arms violently into the sleeves. Sliding his left hand along his chest while holding the robe closed with his right, he began to Fast-Seal© it, all while thinking on last night, the place he had tracked Zero to. Perfectly understandable. Zero was almost seventy-five percent young, healthy male. But Zero had been quite upset when he’d left the… establishment, not the usual reaction to such places and hadn’t said one word to him about following him, also very unusual. Was he upset or frustrated by something?

 

Kaname’s left hand stopped midway down his torso as it occurred to him. In such a young, handsome man it must be upsetting to suddenly feel unattractive: his ballooning weight, the disproportionate belly, the seemingly embarrassing consequences of his pregnancy… Why hadn’t he thought of that before? It wasn’t like him to not foresee such eventualities. However, he could be forgiven for this oversight, considering the thought of Zero’s being unattractive never crossed his mind. In fact, he found the unique situation very intriguing, knowing he was one of very few people who knew that Zero - ostensibly a man - wasn’t quite what he seemed, that he carried such a secret. Even the other workmen on site who knew him and of him merely assumed he was eating himself into a long suspension after the project was over. They wouldn’t dream of considering that outlandish possibility. That Zero was pregnant… with his children. Kaname smiled again as he always did in private when he thought of these words. They made him happy beyond anything else. If Zero had any idea of what Kaname had planned for him he wouldn’t be worried about his looks now. He wouldn’t have to worry about anything ever again.

  
But that wasn’t it, surely? Zero must know that it was only temporary. He seemed well enough before he’d gone to that place. Seemingly adjusted to his lot for the next few months. Sure, he had his frustrations but he always recovered, especially after a massage and a sandwich…

 

Kaname frowned as his mind raced, as this thought occurred to him: perhaps Zero was lonesome for companionship. Female companionship. That has to be it. Why else would he have gone to such a place and have been dissatisfied? He probably wanted more than just the instant gratification of a brief show and a discrete hand. Also perfectly understandable and not beyond remedy. Kaname knew of places and people designed for a just such an eventuality, knew that he could offer assistance in this regard if he wanted to. But as Kaname’s fists bunched he knew he would never make such an offer. Zero’s being with anyone else… upset Kaname more than it should…

  
Kaname unfurled his fingers, impatient with himself. Hadn’t he imposed on Zero enough? He was about to be a father. He should concentrate on that, be grateful for that and not demand more. Zero was very kind but he was not going to forgive him for he’d done. He hadn’t a right to ask him to. His staying was… impossible. Even so, Zero never gave him any indication that he would be the slightest bit interested in men… Damn, was he actually thinking of it? Was he really thinking of…?

  
Kaname rather decisively continued to ‘Seal his robe as he headed for the door to his bedroom. He was being unreasonable. Must he control everything? Own everything? Hadn’t he learned anything at all from his marriage? Kaname resolved to get Zero to bed, see them both through the next four months and to leave well enough alone.

 

 

 **ZERO** heard the door to his boss’ room open but he didn’t deviate from his current bad-tempered perusal of the Visi-Screen before him. Silver brows knitted further as he began to ignore him in the hopes that he would go away…

 

“Your boss must be a tyrant if you are forced to work at this hour in your condition.”

  
“No. Just a little ‘ _exacting_ ’,” Zero replied, hating the way Kaname’s voice always quickened his heart beat when he first heard it for the day. He supposed he could see what Yuuki saw in him. He was an enviable package of wealth, talent and physical perfection. He had it all and was about to be even more blessed with the ultimate vanity of possibly passing on those sickening attributes, the bastard. Zero fervently hoped that all the babies looked like him and only received Kaname’s talent. That he could live with. Then Yuuki would have to see his face every time the kids went on a visit…

  
“That asshole. You really should quit.”

  
Zero blinked and finally gave the screen a break from his piercing, concentrated gaze. Two things were evident that distracted him. One, Kaname was swearing needlessly – this was usually reserved for some unacceptable frustration – and two, he was in a teasing mood. At almost four in the morning.

  
“Are you drunk?”

  
“Would you like me to be?”

  
“Go to bed. I haven’t time for this…”

  
“What are you doing?”

  
“The Depp calculations.”

  
“Perhaps I can assist you.”

  
“Aren’t you tired?”

  
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

  
“I can’t sleep.”

  
“Would you like a massage?”

  
“No. I want to be able to find a comfortable position and not have the babies moving around like insects all the time. I feel like an extra in ‘Alien’…”

  
“That means you would have been dead by now. Come on. I’ll fix you a sausage wrap and a non-alcoholic beer and you can eat them in bed while I rub your feet.”

  
“No. I’m going to finish this first. I’ve almost got it.” He’d still be thinking about Yuuki anyway.

  
It was quiet for a little while before Zero felt a presence on his left.

  
“Move over. Let me help.”

  
“No! Go to bed…!”

  
Zero couldn’t get much further. An arm was thrown over Zero’s shoulders as his boss piled into his easy-chair with him, his warmth seeping through Zero’s clothes. He was careful not to hurt his stomach though. Zero also noticed the scent of him and that his hot breath teased his hair…

  
“Go back to the beginning. Show me what you’ve done...”

  
“No. I’m good at Depp analysis, you know. I just need to…”

 

“Lakewood…” Kaname ordered, grabbing for Zero’s spatial control, losing patience.

 

“Fine! But I wanted to solve it myself…!”

 

“Here. You see? You’re using the constant for Deneuve bridging. You can’t use that in these conditions. Here…”

  
“Oh,” Zero said eventually, wanting to kick himself, wanting a hole to open and swallow him.

  
“Lakewood. Re-do equation series.”

  
_“Yes, Sir.”_

  
The Visi-Screen blipped once and the new series was presented… with the corrected outcome. Zero began to bite his lip and wish for a meteorite to hit him. That was two hours work done in three seconds.

  
“I think that’s it. Don’t look so pained. It comes with experience. Now, was there anything else?” Kaname whispered, leaning back in the chair but his hot breath still stirred Zero’s hair, the fine silver strands playing against the sensitive shell of his ear. Zero tried very hard not to tremble.

  
“No… No, thanks. I’ll go to bed now.”

  
“Good. I’ll come tuck you in. Just give me a couple minutes to make the sandwiches…” Kaname stood to do so, Zero leveraging himself up close behind him.

  
“No! Dammit, Kaname! You don’t have to…!”

  
“I know that. But I like taking care of you. It’s not a chore for me. Honestly.”

  
“Well, I don't feel the same!”

  
“Maybe you will if you let yourself,” Kaname offered tiredly, moving away and heading over to the kitchen, pausing for a moment to decide in front of the machine. “You know, most people would kill for a personal slave.”

  
“Slaves work for free. I happen to know you have a price.”

  
“Zero,” Kaname sighed, clenching his fists again. He was tired of the undercurrent of hostility Zero sometimes trotted out. It seemed so useless now. They both knew Zero wanted the children and both knew that he couldn’t afford to go anywhere else. The amateur theatrics merely got in the way of the inevitable truce and clouded other issues… “What can I say to you? What can I offer to you that will get us past this? We’ve been over this. Repeatedly. But you keep…”

  
“Nothing. Nothing at all.  I’m going to bed.”

  
“You do that. I’ll be there in a second.”

  
“I don’t want you to…!”

  
“We’ll talk about it when I get there,” Kaname said firmly, irritably, rubbing his tired eyes again to rouse himself as he directed his mind to the task of one of Zero’s revolting sandwiches. Zero, who had rounded on Kaname to bellow again, saw this and changed his mind suddenly, deciding – inexplicably - to just go to bed after all.

 

 

 **“WHY DON’T YOU** go to bed, Kaname?” Zero eventually muttered, crushing the empty carton and tossing it into the waste basket. He looked down to where Kaname sat at the foot of his bed rubbing his feet and dozing intermittently.  “You’re practically asleep already and you’ve got a long day today.”

  
“Don’t worry about me,” Kaname replied, stretching his neck and rubbing his eyes again with the heels of this palms. “I’ve been staying up for three days in a row meeting work deadlines when you were popping pimples in your parents’ bathroom.”

  
“I’ve never suffered from acne. I’m surprised you don’t know that as you do everything else.”

  
“I don’t know everything about you, Zero. I had to investigate your health, your habits and your background if you were going to carry my children…”

  
“ _My_ children…”

  
“…But it’s not as though I am inside your mind, although I wish I were sometimes.”

  
Zero avoided Kaname’s gaze, looking away to the window where the sky was turning a dark red. They would get a couple hours sleep at the most if they slept now.

  
“What’s bothering you?” Kaname asked directly, running his thumb down Zero’s incepts just the way he liked it. Zero closed his eyes and sighed.

  
“I told you…”

  
“I don’t believe you. It is my opinion that you would sleep through a catastrophic earthquake. They’ve never bothered you before…”

  
“Well, they are now, alright!” Zero snapped, yanking his feet away. They were spending too much damned time together. Every little thing was a federal issue…

  
“Zero, if you are unhappy just tell me. I can help, you know.  It's the least I can do for...”

  
“Believe it or not, Mr. Kuran, you can’t throw money at everything. If I need a sleepless night, or to punch something or just… just to…”

  
_Shit! Shit!!_

__  
Zero rolled over – or tried to – to stop Kaname from seeing his tears, but it was too late. He pulled the pillow over his head as Kaname came to sit beside him.

  
“BO GABAY!!”

  
Kaname reached out a hand to touch Zero’s shoulder but withdrew it. He knew Zero would hate his sympathy at this time. Be humiliated further. Instead he turned away and said in a bored, world-weary tone, “Zero, get your hormones under control and come out of there. It’s almost time for my shower.”

  
It seemed to do the trick. Zero eventually removed the pillow and sat up wiping his eyes. It helped when it was realized that this wasn’t normal for him. This pregnancy was wreaking some serious havoc on his machismo.

  
“I think we need a break away from here. Maybe a week. Somewhere nice…”

  
“Like Finland.”

  
“Finland?” Kaname asked, slightly amused.

  
“I meant _like_ Finland,” Zero edified wistfully, trying not to be mesmerized by Kaname’s dimples. “I’ve always dreamt of going there. I hear you can actually breathe the air, walk around in just a hat, swim in the water, watch women sun-bathing nude on the beaches. You know…”

  
“I do.”

  
“Have you ever been?”

  
“Yes. I have…”

  
“Really?! Of course you have! Is it true?!” Zero’s gorgeous eyes opened wide and stared at him in sheer admiration and it was Kaname’s turn to become hypnotized.

  
“Every word,” he ventured coolly as he turned away from him, his chest heaving a little. He was beginning to realize that his life lessons were flying straight out the window, that Zero was definitely not safe from him. Going away with him, alone, may be a bad idea.

  
Zero lay back and closed him eyes, his tiredness finally hitting him as he thought of happier things.

  
“Some day I’ll go. It’s too expensive because everyone wants to go there but some day. I’d even dreamt of going there on my honeymoon with…”

  
_With Yuuki…_

  
“Fine. Let’s go then. Next week?”

  
“What? Where…?” Zero asked foolishly, not daring to believe. “To Finland?!”

  
“Where else? Thinking about it has already cheered you up. Imagine if you went there.”

  
“Are you insane? The travel permission alone takes months unless you mortgage your house to bribe somebody…!”

  
“Leave that to me,” Kaname stated, getting to his feet, knowing he’ll do whatever it took to get Zero to Finland. “All I want you to worry about is finishing the tasks assigned for this week and not overtiring yourself. Check with the doctor to make sure it is okay. It’s a long flight. Almost four hours.”

  
Zero sat up again and looked suspiciously at the retreating brunette, “Kaname, are you serious? Are you really serious?”

  
“Zero. You are not asleep. What did I say...?”

  
“Laura! Lights off! And get that annoying bastard out of my room so I can get my rest.”

  
_“Mr. Kuran, may I ask you to…”_

  
“Sure, Laura. Going…”

  
“Wait a minute. Didn’t you tell Monica you couldn’t possibly leave? Aren’t you too busy to…?”

  
“I was lying. Australia is ridiculous where enforcement is concerned and I’m not leaving you alone here. They’ll have to wait.”

  
“I can take care of myself, you know. You don’t have to jeopardize your job over…”

  
“I know, Zero. I know. Now are you going to sleep or do I change my mind?”

  
Kaname waited until Zero had pulled the blanket over his shoulder and settled and then he left, the door closing firmly behind him, a contented smile playing on his lips.

 

 **“LADY,** those are the rules. You have to have permission from the project manager to come here…”

  
“Fine. Call him or better yet call Zero Kiriyuu. He works for him.”

  
“Zero Kiriyuu?”

  
“That’s ‘Fatty’ to you, boss.”

  
“Oh! Ha! The secretary. Bet the manager wishes he’d gone for a single woman…”

  
“Never saw anyone gain weight that fast. Beats me why he’s still here. We hardly see him…”

  
“Excuse me?” the “lady” in question spoke up. It seemed as though they were going to forget her. “There must be some mistake. Zero Kiriyuu is not fat. He’s been like a stick since he was three years old.”

  
“Then this is another Zero Kiriyuu. This one’s got a belly on him the size of this desert and growing. Look, you need to take the next flight back…”

  
“Can’t I at least speak to him? Please? I came all this way…”

  
“You’re out of luck. He and the manager left on a business trip. They’ll be back in a week. Maybe by then you’ll have permission to come, hmmm?”

 

to be continued.


	9. Of Beginnings and Endings

_Why did I choose Finland? I don’t know anything about Finland! They don’t even call Finland “Finland”! (Suomi) arrrgghhh!!! Don’t quote me on anything…._

 

Of Beginnings and Endings

 

_**“WELCOME** to Finland, Mr. Kuran.”_

 

“Thank you.”

 

Kaname retracted his hand from the panel and bent to take up their bags. His and Zero’s. He’d insisted on Zero not carrying anything considering his condition but it had been a hard-won battle with Zero’s stubbornness, which culminated in Kaname simply yanking the article from the other’s shoulder and walking away, leaving Zero to catch up and not make a scene. Damn, he was so trying! How could he think he could just carry on as before?! As if he was a normal man? He simply refused to believe things had to change! Sometimes Kaname felt like wringing his neck!

 

“Zero! Come on…!”

 

Kaname stopped in his tracks and found himself turning back to watch. He hadn’t even done that when he’d first come here years ago. He’d had other things to worry about…

  
Zero smiled even as his eyes were closed but… he was so happy. He didn’t think he’d ever felt the sun like this. It was warm, not scorching and tingled a little on his upturned face. He brought a hand up from where he held a large jacket over his middle in a lame attempt to hide his pregnancy, and placed it palm upwards in the air, enjoying the feel of it on his skin. If only he wasn’t in a delicate situation. He’d get naked right here…

 

“Zero… We have to go. There’s more of it at the house.”

  
Zero could tell by the sound of his voice that Kaname was uncomfortable. There were people probably watching him. He didn’t care. He was in _Finland_!

 

“Are you certain? Is it like this?” Zero asked almost childishly, refusing to budge and not even opening his eyes. He turned his hand over to sun the other side but kept his face upward. Kaname forgot himself as his eyes roamed Zero’s face at this opportunity, admiring the contented visage, handsome but softened just a little by the weight-gain, his long eye-lashes and silvery hair gilded by the bright late-morning sunlight.

 

“Yes. It is,” he replied softly, but pleased by the happiness Zero was exhibiting. “You can sun-bathe all you want to next to the pool. Okay?”

 

Zero sighed and reluctantly lowered his face, opening his eyes to see Kaname watching him. Too close. He had a chance to take in those dark, wide eyes and full, soft lips before stepping away and looking around him. A few people looked at him with some amusement as he did so. _Tourists_.

 

“Okay. Sure,” he concurred tersely, ambling ahead to the customs area, a suddenly smug brunette following closely behind him.

 

 **ZERO** frowned with quite forgivable skepticism as the air-taxi landed next to a fairly sizable expanse of housing. Did Kaname mean a hotel?

 

“Are you coming?” Kaname asked when he hopped down and turned to help Zero from the back seat. The pilot was already heading towards the “hotel” with their bags.

 

“I don’t understand. You’d said a house…”

 

“And so it is. See? A roof and four walls…”

 

“I’d thought of something a little smaller…”

 

“More intimate, perhaps?” Kaname teased, with a flash of mischievous dimples. Zero sat back in the vehicle. No way he was going to go in there now…

 

“It is a house, Zero. Just a big one. Come on. Think of the pool. The sun-bathing…?”

 

“I thought there wouldn’t be many people. A place like this probably has…”

 

“There is no-one. Only ‘bots. I promise. Now come on. This is silly. We’ve flown a long time. I know you must be hungry.”

 

He was. The “food” on the airplane hadn’t even whetted his appetite. He longed for a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs at least a foot deep.

 

“Okay.”

 

Kaname smiled again and held out his arms, which Zero ignored. He hopped the short distance to the ground with enough finesse to not embarrass himself and began to walk toward the “house” already in a sour mood. Boy did he hate the way Kaname could just manipulate him with the promise of a meal and to make matters worse he only got rounder and rounder. He felt like the blob in those old horror movies that greedily consumed everything, their only concern being the next meal, and about just as attractive. He couldn’t even get the woman across from him in the aisle to make eye contact with him, unheard of a few months ago. Zero wondered seriously as he trudged across the grass, barely aware of the transaction between Kaname and the pilot as he passed, whether or not he would get his previous shape back. It began to feature with some importance in his mind. Perhaps he didn’t have to have pre-dinner sandwiches or midnight casseroles. Maybe if he controlled the cravings he wouldn’t have to shed so much later and could regain some self-respect …

  
Kaname efficiently ‘chipped the pilot’s Pay-Pad© and waved her off, barely acknowledging her thanks. His own mind was already on the week ahead with Zero. He could tell he was already in a foul mood but Kaname was still looking forward to it. Perhaps the surroundings, the respite away from work, would relax him and they could get to know each other better. Zero may just see that he really wasn’t the enemy and… Kaname sighed and became frustrated with himself again. He was trying to take over. Take _him_ over. He simply wouldn’t be happy until this situation was a little more under his control. By whatever means…

 

They approached the house wordlessly, eventually stepping onto the cobblestone drive and heading toward the main entrance. Kaname prepared to enter his code to open the door, all while watching Zero’s progress up the steps out of the corner of his eye, fully expecting that no human person would be there to greet them, fully expecting the system would have alerted him if anyone had come. Imagine his surprise when he looked beyond Zero to the garage – more luck than any other reason – and noticed the tail end of a luxury vehicle that looked more than familiar protruding from the doorway. That and the lack of alert from the security system told Kaname what he didn’t need to go inside to know…

 

“Oh, shit…”

 

“What?! What is it?” Zero asked, turning toward Kaname as he had been grabbed him quite abruptly and had started to haul him away to the side of the house.

 

“Stay here… No… Head down there as if you are going to the beach. Stay away from the house for about ten minutes then come inside, but go straight to your room and stay there until I get you. If you need anything ask your computer assistant.”

 

“What is it? Why can’t I go in…?” Despite his earlier mental rant, Zero was disappointed to have to delay his meal. He was hungry…

 

“My ex-wife is here, Zero. I can’t let her see you. She knows…” Kaname paused in agitation to thread his fingers through his hair before continuing tightly. “She knows me better than anyone. She’ll take one look at you and know what’s happening. We can’t afford that. You have to hide.”

 

“Do you really think she’ll report me?”

 

“Not to the authorities. But… It’s complicated…”

 

“I don’t underst…”

 

“My divorce isn’t quite final. There are a few issues with settlement. If she finds out I’m not childless it could affect things…”

 

“But you are childless, Kaname…”

 

“Zero, please,” Kaname begged, his irritation causing the urge to strangle come over him again. “Just go down there for ten minutes until I speak to her. Please.”

 

“Oh, alright. _Ten_ minutes. At least it’s a beach…”

  
Kaname felt relief as Zero trudged away grumbling to himself. He then turned and headed back purposefully to the front entrance.

 

**“DARLING…!”**

**  
**

“Why are you here?” Kaname ground out, not in the mood for pleasantries. “We agreed I could have the house for the week. Unmolested.”

 

“I know, darling but I couldn’t resist a visit,” Shizuka Hiou replied, looking down from the stairs at her soon to be ex-husband, not fazed in the least by the cold reception and the fury behind the flat, hard stare. “I haven’t seen you since that time you came for some things. When was that? Five months ag…?”

 

“We don’t need to see each other. We both have very well paid lawyers doing our dirty work for us.”

 

“But there are some benefits to seeing each other in person. Unless… you are seeing someone else?” She asked, coquettishly tilting her head to one side, the cascade of platinum blonde hair falling past her shoulders to her hip. She doubted he was. She would have heard.

 

“Get out. You can’t have it all. Your rights to anything else were lost when you filed for...”

 

“Where is the other man? The one that got off the air taxi with you?”

 

“My assistant wanted to see the beach. I came in to deal with an unexpected development.”

 

“You’re going to spend a week here working?!” Why was she surprised? Had he done anything but work since the second miscarriage? Done anything but avoid life? Her?

 

“Yes. Are we done?” Kaname asked, walking over to the wall to press his palm to the console. The door slid open and waited suggestively, echoing the terse brunette’s same stance. Shizuka sighed and descended the staircase. He was being so difficult. Probably still in a lather over the shares in Microsoft she’d insisted on having. She really had thought he’d fight her on _that_ , that it would get his attention. But no. Anything, it seemed, to get rid of her…

 

“Not quite yet, Kaname.”

 

Shizuka placed her palm on the console and the door slid shut, much to Kaname’s annoyance. He folded his arms in barely concealed impatience as he looked at her expectantly. Shizuka sighed again. When did she become such a pariah? It wasn’t that long ago when they’d vowed to love each other forever. When all she had to do was kiss him to make him tremble. He’d given her no choice, she’d thought at the time. It was supposed to have been a “wake up” call but he’d embraced it wholeheartedly. As if it had been _her_ fault their children had died.

 

“Why don’t I order us some lunch? I wanted us to talk. Like we used to…”

 

“Have your lawyer call mine, Shizuka. There is nothing we need to discuss…”

 

“Kaname! Is this really what you want? Can’t we even be friends?”

 

“I know what you want. I even think you’re wearing the same dress you wore five months ago. The same perfume…”

 

“Kaname…” Shizuka breathed, reaching up to throw her arms around his neck but Kaname stopped her, holding her arms away from his shoulders.

 

“No. It has to end. We do this… It’s not easy for me to walk away the next morning…”

 

“Then don’t.”

 

“Shizuka…”

 

Shizuka closed the distance between them quickly, pressing her lips to Kaname’s forcefully. Before Kaname could even react her tongue broke through his lips, laving the sensitive pads before attempting a sweet invasion. Kaname loved to kiss. Sucking his lips roughly often made him so nuts he couldn’t…

  
Kaname wrenched himself away but his arms trembled in the process. It hardly filled one with confidence.

 

“No!” He grated, trying to push her away. “I am not…!”

 

Kaname faltered quite a bit when two feminine fingers dipped into his open mouth and a very familiar taste filled it. He stiffened for half a second before closing his eyes to suck the moist digits, cleaning them completely before grabbing the hand they were connected to and swinging her almost painfully into the wall behind them. Shizuka gasped at the shock but didn’t miss a beat. She was out of her panties by the time Kaname fell to his knees in front of her…

 

“Oooohhhhh, Kaname… Oh!” she gasped as her legs were thrown over his shoulders and she was hoisted into the air. She had a moment to notice that they were heading towards the stairs but a hot questing, insatiable tongue made her lose coherent thought again completely…

 

 **SHIZUKA** entered the kitchen, yawning luxuriantly as she shuffled along in the pale blue kimono that had been a present from Kaname. She was starving and, though she loathed to leave the happy tangle of Kaname’s unconscious embrace, she didn’t want to risk ordering anything and wake him. She smiled at this. Kaname still passed out directly after sex. If she had wanted him to herself for a few hours, even if to just hold him, to watch her beautiful tiger sleep, all she had to do was seduce him. Nothing could keep him awake. But then he usually gave it his all. She’ll be damned if she could find anyone as peculiar. Or as exciting…

 

“Oh!”

 

Shizuka halted mid-stride as she noticed the silver-haired youth ahead of her. She wondered briefly about sounding the alarm then remembered. The assistant.

 

“Good afternoon.”

 

The youth seemed startled by her presence. She heard the clatter of a container hitting the floor before he followed suit behind the counter. Shizuka approached the counter and leaned over.

 

“I’m sorry I startled you! I forgot there was someone else in the house.”

 

“That makes two of us.”

 

The youth picked up the tray and other bits but stayed on the floor, seemingly looking for other detritus. Shizuka decided to be helpful.

 

“There isn’t anything else that I can see. Delia. Send a cleaning ‘bot to the kitchen now.”

 

_“Yes, ma’am.”_

 

“That’s okay! I’ve got it...”

 

“Nonsense. That’s what they’re there for. Are you going to stand so I can introduce myself properly or do you like it down there?”

 

“Yes. I am,” Zero replied, then cursed lengthily under his breath. What was he going to do? Didn’t Kaname say to stay away from her?

 

“Well?”

 

“Were you going to get something to eat?”

 

“I was! Maybe I’ll have the same. Was that a BLT? I’ll order two shall I…?”

 

“Yes. Thank you.”

 

Zero peeped over his shoulder as the head disappeared and stood. Partially. Thankfully, the Auto-Cook© was at the other end of the counter. Zero ducked around the opposite end and leaned onto the counter…

 

“There you are…”

 

Shizuka was stunned by the beauty of the boy. He had unusual colouring with grey eyes that gave him an almost ethereal, frosty quality, much accentuated by the guarded glare he was giving her. Shizuka wondered what Kaname had said about her. She also wondered if this was all business as he had said. Then her eyes took in more than his face. He was quite fat, wasn’t he? Such a pity...

 

“I’m Shizuka. Kaname’s wife. You?”

 

“Zero. Zero Kiriyuu. His assis…”

 

“Yes, I know. He’d said you had gone to look at the beach. Is this your first time to Finland?”

 

“Yes. Does it show?”

 

Shizuka laughed as she turned to remove the finished items.

 

“No. Not really,” she answered as she brought the trays over to the where Zero was perched timidly at the other end of the counter. “It’s only because I’d done the same thing myself when I first came here.”

 

“Everything is so beautiful. I am used to going outside to see charred landscape and urban sprawl, air that you can’t breathe directly… I don’t want to leave,” Zero sighed wistfully, picking up his sandwich.

  
Shizuka smiled knowingly at this last as the boy took a bite of his sandwich then another. Seems he was very hungry…

 

“I didn’t either. In fact I moved here when we separated. I alternate between my house in town and here as well. I was supposed to be away when you came. Sorry to interrupt your plans…”

 

“There were no plans. Just rest. We’d been working for months on the Amazon project.”

 

“Interesting! Kaname is taking a break? I must tell mother…!”

 

“You needn't tell Shizuka all of our business, Zero.”

  
Both people turned to see Kaname as he entered the kitchen. He walked over to where Zero stooped over the edge of the counter and touched his back, his eyes making a silent query which Zero answered by sidestepping the touch and biting his sandwich with barely concealed anger. Shizuka thought this odd. Kaname usually kept employees at arms’ length.

 

“I trust you two are already acquainted?” Kaname asked, his eyes not leaving Zero’s face, still trying to read if he was in distress.

 

“Yes, dear. It’s his first time to Finland. We’ll need to take him around, won’t we?”

 

"'We'?"

 

“Not this time. We’re just here to…”

 

“I know! How about Wednesday? I have to head up to the Pallas-Ounastunturi National Park. I have my monthly inspection to do. Zero can come along. Look around, get some exercise,” she added pointedly. “If you think this place is beautiful wait until you see the valley!”

 

“Inspection…?” Zero asked, though not missing the “suggestion”.

 

“Shizuka is a horticulturalist. She looks after the trees. Sorry we can’t go, Shizuka. I have some work that must be completed…”

 

“Tosh, Kaname! Zero is not going to work all of his first time in Finland. That’s a travesty!”

 

“That, nonetheless, is my call. Furthermore, I’ll be the one to take Zero wherever he wants to go.”

 

“I’ll pick you up around seven in the morning, Zero. Best to get an early start. If he’s not ready you’ll be seeing a lot more of me this week, Kaname...”

 

“Will you please leave us alone?” Kaname thundered, losing what little patience he had. You wouldn’t believe that this was the same man who, a couple hours ago, was on his back begging her in hushed, low, desperate tones not to stop…

 

“Fine.”

 

Shizuka finished her sandwich and got to her feet from the high stool, rolling her eyes at her bad-tempered husband.

 

“Okay. I’m leaving. I got what I wanted anyway.” Shizuka leaned in to kiss Kaname but was thwarted by a swift change of position. She sighed again and turned toward the youth.

 

“It was nice meeting you. I hope you enjoy your stay. If you get sick of him before Wednesday give me a call, okay?”

 

“Okay. It was nice to meet you as well.”

  
Kaname growled a little under his breath and Shizuka laughed and exited the kitchen heading up to her bedroom to change and leave. There would be other days. She could guarantee that.

 

“Are you oka…?”

 

“Yes! I’m okay,” Zero replied, straightening his body gratefully. “I was only trying to prevent her from seeing my stomach. She only thinks I’m hideously fat, that’s all…”

 

“That was close. I think we may have to leave. Didn’t I tell you to stay in your room…?”

 

“I was hungry and wanted to stretch my legs." Zero was too curious about the "house" to just stay in his room. Actually, he'd done quite a bit of exploring. It had been so quiet and the house so breathtaking, it was easy to forget himself and the need for caution and be drawn on and on into each luxurious space. He look into several bedrooms (the ones that allowed access), touched glass cases of crystal and porcelain artifacts, stared at more scary paintings and had dipped his toes in the huge pool that seem to meld with the sea at the other end... but didn't. And he wasn't even finished yet! He'd gotten too hungry to continue. But this was when it really hit him that Kaname was well... not like him... Was really in another league entirely. "And I don't want to leave yet. I just got here!” He still had the basement and top two floors...

 

“She won’t leave us alone now…”

 

“Maybe it’s because she’s getting mixed signals,” Zero commented dryly, picking up the empty cartons and tossing them into recycling, before walking towards the kitchen door.

 

“I’ll thank you stay out of my private life, Zero,” Kaname seethed, his disgust with himself coming to the fore. Zero no doubt had put two and two together and he could see his plans where the other man was concerned slipping through his fingers. “What I decide to do with my own…”

 

“…Anybody is your own affair. I couldn’t agree more. I’m going to for a long walk of the grounds. Don’t wait up.”  
Kaname surged forth, ready to protest, to follow him again but decided against it. There should be no-one else out here and he was sure his cause would benefit by not aggravating Zero any further. Besides, he’d better stay and make sure Shizuka left. This time.

 

to be continued


	10. Mother

Mother

 

 **ZERO** stood in front of the mirror, the earlier enthusiasm to get into his trunks quite gone. He hadn’t even meant to look. He certainly wouldn’t have in the past. But… Damn his insecurity.

  
“Zero! Are you alright? Did it fit?” came the voice, just outside the door. Kaname was never far from him.

  
“Yes! Just give me a moment. Why don’t you go out to the pool? I’ll be right out.”

  
“I’m in no hurry, Zero. Is something wrong…?”

  
Besides there being a frigging beach ball where his six-pack used to be? “No!” Zero reassured quickly before Kaname let himself in. “I’m okay! I just need a fucking moment, alright?”

  
“Fine.”

  
Zero heard nothing more and he resumed dying inside at his reflection. He turned to one side and winced, noticing his “chest” looked even bigger in that direction but at least his stomach didn’t make him look like Humpty Dumpty, like a prized melon was perched on top of narrow hips and thin legs. Now he looked like he was carrying around an enormous stomach tumour with matching ones on his chest. An infinitely better assessment. And… were his nipples larger…? Oh no. He couldn’t go out like this. Even to sun bathe in an empty mansion in Finland. God, he looked hideous…

  
Zero came upon the idea as he stood there. A T-shirt? Or perhaps a robe? While Kaname was outside he could nip back and get one. He would look silly but not as silly as Humpty Dumpty. Damn Kaname. He'd done this to him and yet he probably looked fabulous in all his thinness in his trunks… That’s it. Zero was going out to the pool in a robe.

  
“Kaname?”

  
Zero called just to make sure the coast was clear then, thinking it was, opened the door to peep outside. Still nothing. Good, he thought. He’ll run up from this changing area to his room and be back in two minutes. He wouldn’t bother to change back it would be so quick…

  
“What’s wrong?”

  
Zero was just starting up the staircase and froze. Shit! He was supposed to be at the pool!

  
“Nothing! I was um…” Zero thought about hiding his huge nipples and running but he wouldn’t get far if Kaname was in the mood to catch him. He was very mindful of not falling over which vetoed a good, manly effort at a sprint. But he didn’t want him to see him like this. Hence the shenanigans. Why hadn’t he put on his clothes?

  
“Aren’t you coming to the pool?”

  
“Yes. But I was cold. I wanted a robe.”

  
“The sun will warm you up, Zero. And the day itself is quite…”

  
“I still want a robe. Just in case…”

  
“I’ll get it then. You only had to ask…”

  
“No! I’ll see you outside.”

  
Zero continued briskly up the stairs having not turned around for the exchange. He hoped he didn’t look as ridiculous from behind. If he got to the top and Kaname was still there he’d run…

  
“I see it is a good fit. I was worried you wouldn’t like it. I almost got you a one piece but I figured you were not the type to feel uncomfortable about your body.”

  
_You were wrong. So wrong…_

  
Zero froze again, halfway up the stairs. He probably thinks he is so damned smart for guessing like that. Boy, would he love to prove him wrong. However, couldn’t a man have some pride? He was developing a bad case of man-boobs for heaven’s sake!

  
“Come on,” came the soft low voice to his right. Zero started a little, not having heard him come up the steps. He had been too steeped in self-pity. “There is no one else here and I’ve already seen quite a bit between the massages and the doctor’s visits.”

  
“Who says this is about you?” Zero bellowed irritably, rounding on him fully, forcing himself not to fling his arm over his chest.

  
“It’s not? Then you have nothing to worry about. Come on. The water’s great. I turned on the heating, just in case it was too cold for all of you.”

  
“Will you stop referring to me in the plural…?”

  
“What’s that?” Kaname interrupted, pressing his right ear to the left of Zero’s stomach, his arms wrapping around to hold him close. Even Zero couldn’t budge him.

  
“Mr. Kuran...!”

  
“Could you repeat that, Stephen? ‘Mommy’s’ angry at me for stopping him from running and hiding his body from me.”

  
What?! Of all the nerve!!

  
“I’ll show you who’s the ‘Mommy’! You ass-h…!” Zero made a serious attempt for Kaname’s crotch but was thwarted expertly. “Mommy” was spun and embraced from behind. One hand “inadvertently” trapping a man-boob, a hard, warm almost nude body pressed tightly against his back. Zero’s heart began to pound…

  
“Stephen says they want to swim and that this decision was arrived at by unanimous agreement. Dean even woke up for the vote…”

  
“You crazy son of a…”

  
“You are outvoted five to one. I feel duty bound to haul you outside forcibly and push you into the pool.”

  
“You wouldn’t dare… No! Kaname! Alright! Alright! Let go of me!”

  
Zero found himself released and below Kaname on the stairs. He looked past Kaname to the landing and then back to the smirking brunette who was taking in every nook and cranny of his body with a pseudo air of admiration, Zero was sure. Well, at least _he_ was enjoying himself.

  
“You are out of your mind, you know that?”

  
“It helps to be a little bit crazy with a job like mine. Now turn around. That’s it…”

  
Zero did turn around and head back down the stairs. All of this over a robe. You’d think he had a right to cover himself if he felt like a hippo that walked on its hind legs. Still, a smile broke out grudgingly onto Zero’s face. Kaname was such a nutter…

 

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of your body, Zero. With all the people that would kill to look like you do now, with child…”

  
“I’m tired of hearing about all these people and how lucky I am. It doesn’t help when you just don’t feel that way. Let them come and undertake the trials I have with a simple bowel moment…”

  
“Fortunately, it doesn’t work that way,” Kaname rejoined quickly, just as they had reached the pool. “I would much prefer you to be the mother of my children…”

  
“Oh, bite me! You call me ‘mother’ again and I’ll… Ahhh! Noo!”

  
_SPLASSSHHHHH!!_

 

 

 **WELL** , it turned out that Zero enjoyed swimming. Or at least paddling around with Kaname’s help. He hadn’t mentioned his formal training as a swimmer hadn’t gotten past a few trips to a pool while he was in high school. So after Kaname got over the shock of his almost drowning Zero and after “Mommy” resurfaced with… um, “Daddy’s” help, and stopped breathlessly swearing at him, they ended up having a good day of it, Zero wanting to learn not to sink and Kaname willing to teach and keep his hands on the other as much as possible.

  
Zero loved it. The warm glittering clear water, the way the sun illuminated all of it. The way he didn’t feel as clumsy as he swam. Aside from almost losing his trunks because of his body shape in the beginning, it had all been just perfect. Including Kaname. He really was patient and fun to be around. Even Zero got used to having his stomach addressed directly and began to enjoy Kaname’s enthusiasm, only pointing out that the babies only seemed to agree with Kaname, which the brunette vehemently denied. He was such a nut. Such a beautiful nut…

  
Zero turned away and closed his eyes deciding to stop being distracted by Kaname’s muscular arms as they rubbed his legs and stomach with oil. He was in dark sunglasses and the odd thing was that since he was sure his eyes couldn’t be seen he became preoccupied with looking at Kaname. Whether watching him swimming with elegant, strong strokes, or sunning or as he massaged Zero’s muscles after the exertion of swimming. Yet he couldn’t figure out why he found him so fascinating. Sure, he was good looking and exuded a lean cat-like grace. So what? Was it more than that? What if he found Kaname… attractive?

  
“What is it?” Kaname asked as Zero sat up abruptly and yanked his legs away, throwing them over the side of the lounger.

  
“Will you stop asking me that? You keep behaving as though I’ll pop at any moment…”

  
“You can’t guess why?”

  
“Kaname…”

  
“Maybe you’re hungry. It has been an hour since lunch...”

  
“No! I’m tired, that’s all. Thanks again for the lessons. Maybe by Friday I will be able to challenge you to a race.”

  
“You’re on!” Kaname responded, grinning. He was relieved the easy atmosphere was still present. It had been two days and so far Zero had been able to forget that he was supposed to be the “enemy”. They’d swam everyday and sun-bathed, Zero never bothering with the extra garments and they’d been able to joke and laugh, forgetting their differences. Save for when Kaname called him “Mother”. He was only teasing but what did he expect? He was heavily pregnant at almost five months for goodness sake.

  
_“There is no shame in it, Zero.”_

_  
“Fine. Then I’ll call you mother, shall I? You seem to be the nurturing type.”_

_  
“But I can’t get pregnant…”_

_  
“Neither will I when this is over.”_

__  
At the time Zero said this they were only bantering back and forth, nothing serious. But Kaname grew quiet. Zero noticed this, looking up from the creamy pasta dish he had been inhaling at dinner with some relish to see Kaname picking thoughtfully at his plate.

  
_“What is it? What did I say?”_

  
Kaname seemed to still be deciding if to broach his concerns and Zero leaned back in his chair and kicked his foot under the table. Kaname looked up, startled to see a wide smile on Zero’s face. The past day had been wonderful and Zero felt more comfortable with his boss than he’d done for the past five months. He was committed to this, committed to seeing this through and to loving these children and to including Zero in their life. He felt it. Why else would he put up with so much shit from him? As he had all day, with good humour. Such good humour it was odd to see him so sombre. Suddenly.

  
_“Come on. Spill it.”_

__  
Kaname looked back at his plate.

  
_“I know I haven’t a right to ask. I’ve already asked of you more than I had a right to expect…”_

_  
“Oh no… No!”_

_  
“Wait! Hear me out…”_

_  
“No! I can tell from your face what you are going to say! You are right! You have no right to ask me! Isn’t it bad enough that it happened once? And you have four kids on the way. Four!”_

_  
“I wasn’t asking you to get pregnant again. But I want to beg you to not remove…”_

_  
“That’s the same thing, Kaname! You’ll know it’s there and you wouldn’t be able to resist. Who knows, you may actually ask me first…!”_

_  
“Never mind. Forget it.”_

_  
“Believe me, I will. God-damn! I refuse to feel guilty! I have a right to choose what happens to my body! Look at me! Would you choose this for yourself…?”_

_  
“Yes! I would, Zero! I have spent a long time wishing, PRAYING for just what you can do easily. You complain and fret about swollen ankles and having to urinate more often but you don’t know how easy this has been for you. But I do! So far your pregnancy with FOUR FOETUSES has been without a significant hitch while I’ve had to watch two... surrogates fail devastatingly. You take it for granted because you never wanted it, but given what I’ve been through, what everyone is going through, can you understand if I am completely horrified at the thought of what you plan to do?”_

__  
Zero hadn’t replied. They had both descended into silence with Kaname eventually getting up and leaving the room. What could he have said, except that he wouldn’t do it? But of course he couldn’t promise that. He never asked for this role. Never asked for this cruel twist of fate that gave him this capability. Aside from his portable guests he did feel like a man, wanted to do to a woman what Kaname was doing for him, wanted to cherish and protect the one he loved. He sucked at being taken care of. He felt impotent.

  
The next day, though, Kaname came to his room wearing only navy blue swimming briefs, carrying breakfast and with dimples on full beam – Zero suspected he’d noticed that the silver-haired youth became mesmerised by them – apologised for what happened at dinner last night and asked if he wanted to continue his swimming lessons. Zero did lose his thought for a second. Kaname was leaning close, his breath stirring his hair and smelling really good. He ached to sink his nose into the join of his shoulder and inhale. What was that? Eventually he did realise Kaname wanted an answer.

  
_“Sure. Forgiven.”_

_  
“Good. Do you all need more time?”_ Dimples.

_  
“No… No. We… I mean I will be down after breakfast.”_

_  
“Alright. I’ll be in the den answering some correspondence. Come get me when you are ready.”_

_  
“Kaname, if you are busy…”_

_  
“Would you prefer I wait here? I could talk to them while you eat…”_ Kaname illustrated his intentions by rubbing his left hand with possessive confidence over Zero's stomach before leaning in to press his face to the clothed mound...  
Zero doubted he’d be able to swallow any of it.

  
_“No. Thanks. I’ll come and get you.”_

_  
“Okay."_ Dimples. _"You all take your time. Make sure you try the bran muffins. Charlotte mentioned you needed them.”_

 __  
 _“‘Charlotte’ should mind her own damn business.”_ Zero had muttered as the door slid closed behind his boss, avoiding the muffins and going for the sausage wrap and coffee. He’d made enough sacrifices.

 

 

 **IT REALLY** had been wonderful. Too wonderful… Zero's contented mood seemed to make a change for the worst as he rose to leave.

  
“I think I’ll go take a nap.”

  
“Okay. That sounds like a good idea. Shall I wake you for dinner?”

  
“Yes. Whatever...” Just wear all your clothes this time…

  
“Zero... before you go... Shizuka called again to remind you of your trip tomorrow.”

  
“Again?”

  
“Well, she called yesterday as well.”

  
“Oh.” Well that explains it.

  
“She’ll be here tomorrow at seven.”

  
“But I can’t go, can I?”

  
“Of course you can’t. Not with her, in any case. I told her you didn’t want to go but she is ignoring me, suggesting I am bullying you in some way. You’ll need to call her and convince her or… we go ourselves.”

  
“What?”

  
“Why not? The parks really are beautiful and they allow camping. We’ll leave her a message and leave before she gets here and return on Thursday. It will get her off our backs and we'll take in some glorious scenery. What do you think?”

  
“Wow. This is a surprise.”

  
“You do want to go?”

  
“Yes! I do!”

  
“Then that settles it. We’ll plan it properly over dinner. Okay?”

  
“Okay! I can’t wait!”

  
“Good,” Kaname replied, grinning, visibly relieved. “I’m glad you approve. See you later, Zero.”

  
“Later.”

  
Zero doubted he’ll ever be able to sleep now.

 

to be continued


	11. Love and Hate

Love and Hate

 

 **KANAME** took his hand off the door panel and stepped cautiously into the room. He paused as Zero tossed, an agitated furrow to his brow before settling again. He waited until he heard regular breathing again before closing the door and approaching the bed.

He didn’t intend to stay very long. Normally when he did this he would just watch him sleep for a little while and if he was feeling particularly brave or Zero seemed deeply asleep, he would rest his hand on the growing bump of his stomach in hope of some acknowledgement of the miracle that was occurring. He was rarely disappointed, although his mind may have been rather generous in interpreting each vibration he felt. Still the proud father would feel instantly comforted by whatever indication he thought he had felt and would leave before Zero caught him.

Kaname stood next to the bed and looked on its slumbering occupant with some affection by the light from his i-assistant. It was just enough to provide a soft glow that never stirred the other man but was enough for Kaname to see. Zero slept in full pyjamas now. Before he would just use the bottoms or nothing at all... Kaname was tempted to ask him why but knew that would open a can of worms he shouldn’t touch. Maybe there were other practical considerations but he suspected Zero was sensitive about his burgeoning pregnancy and wanted to cover up as much as possible, even at night. Kaname couldn’t understand this, couldn’t understand how Zero could not know how beautiful he looked. Even Shizuka had noticed, he was sure. She wasn’t the type to waste time on persons that did not intrigue her. He was sure that she’d noticed - despite her misconception about his obesity - how Zero simply glowed and coupled with what he knew - that the soft, extra padding and the large mound meant that he was gently nourishing his children into existence - it made Zero nigh irresistible. Breathtakingly... beautiful.

Kaname lowered the i-assistant after a while and turned to go, but found himself dawdling. It was just before three o’clock in the morning. They had to be up by five thirty to prepare. He had to go back to his room. But he hadn’t touched it yet. Touched them. During his more fanciful moments he would imagine they knew he was there; knew that he was their father and loved them more than his life; knew that he was there to protect them as much as he could in the circumstances. And during this same moment Kaname longed to stay. He felt excluded having to go to another room. Like an outsider with voyeuristic tendencies, which he wasn’t. He had a right to stay and make sure they were safe, that Zero was alright, to let them know he was there for them as well.

But of course that was nonsense. They didn’t know. They only knew their “mother’s” heartbeat and his gentle movements and maybe his voice. They had no idea of their father really and he should leave before he was caught and get some sleep. But he stayed where he was then he moved forward toward the bed, sitting first before rolling onto it, scooting closer to Zero, spooning him cautiously, then slipping his left hand delicately around his waist, his palm splayed to possessively hold the large mound at the navel. Zero stirred and muttered but soon settled again and Kaname, surely losing his mind as he was taking a major liberty but unable to stop himself, carefully explored Zero’s stomach as he lay on his side with his hand, searching for activity, his anticipation level almost palpable...

Kaname sucked in his breath as he felt it. It definitely was movement. He reversed his hands to the point where Zero’s stomach sunk into the mattress and waited, his mind connecting with who it must have been given the location. Emily, or maybe Dean.

There it was again. A strong “kick” into the palm of his hand. Kaname’s dimples were in evidence as his excitement grew. He rubbed the area with a gentle circular movements before tapping it on a whim. Not very hard. He didn’t want to wake Zero but he wondered if she - or he - could feel it. And would acknowledge it. _Him_. Kaname waited, then tapped again, a little harder, holding his breath when Zero wriggled a little, and waited again. Nothing. Irrationally it was disappointing.

Kaname still stayed though, lowering his head to the pillow. He would wait a little longer just in case she was figuring out what it meant. Zero was so warm and soft. Comforting. Much better that his lonely bed. If he stayed another ten minutes or so he’ll never notice...

Kaname gasped as he felt it. Another strong “kick” into his hand. His excitement grew and his sleepy smile widened... just as Zero sighed and rolled over... onto him! Kaname froze, his fear soaring with his heart rate as he became pinned by a leg and an arm, as well as the large bump he’d been using to send code to his daughter (or son). It was right on top of his own stomach! Fuck! How was he going to get away now?

“Mmmmm. Smell good...”

“Zero?” Kaname whispered, wondering if Zero knew he was there and had deliberately shifted positions. Zero’s nose nuzzled his neck with some enthusiasm. Kaname’s eyes closed as his body reacted. If he kept doing that...

“Yuuki... Yuuki...”

And then he settled, going to sleep fully again and leaving Kaname to stare wide-eyed into the dark.

 

**“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?”**

Zero retracted the hand he’d used to grab at the sullen brunette and stop him. Kaname turned toward him but his eyes stayed trained on the river they’d been following for a suitable camp site. It was just after eight thirty in the morning, they having disembarked from the air taxi some fifteen minutes ago. The sunlight was playing on the rippling currents and causing a mesmerising effect but Zero didn’t think Kaname was eager only to watch this. He had been sombre and moody since he’d seen him this morning.

“Kaname!”

“Nothing, Zero. I didn’t sleep very well last night, that’s all. Am I going too fast?”

“Yes! It’s as though you want to leave me behind! If you don’t want to do this, just say so!”

“I do! I told you! I’m just a little out of sorts. Ignore me.”

“Fine. Why don’t I take my bag and tent you can go jogging to your heart’s content?”

“...I will slow down for you, okay?” Kaname ground out, knowing Zero knew he wasn’t about to let him carry anything. The point was made.

“Don’t make it sound like a chore. I simply don’t want to risk falling. The trail is uneven...”

“I understand. Let’s go.”

Kaname headed off again but at a slower gait which Zero was just able to keep up with. Eventually, after some time travelling in silence, Kaname came to a rocky outcropping.

“We’re headed up there. Can you manage?”

“Yes,” Zero hissed, before hoisting himself up nimbly onto the first boulder, then another. He wasn’t handicapped, damn it, just preggers. “Do you need any help with...?”

“No. Just keep your eyes open. I’m right behind you.”

Zero bit his lip rather than swear at him. He wondered what was wrong. His boss was being his boss again. Which should have suited Zero fine. Didn’t he vow yesterday to keep his hormones under control? They were obviously to blame for these obviously female yearnings he’d been having. This wasn’t him. That had been the uterus talking. The gigantic maelstrom of hormone production was making him see Kaname as a potential mate, or something. All he had to do was keep a level head, get the little tikes birthed safely and he’ll be as right as rain again. This awkward atmosphere was just what he had been hoping for. Boss and employee. That was the relationship. Nothing more.

Still, Zero missed it. The easy camaraderie they’d had. It had been fun. And he’d hoped his first time exploring Finland wouldn’t be a regrettable experience, considering he’d most likely never return here again. Well, he’ll still enjoy it. Why not? Let Kaname worry about himself...

“Who’s Yuuki?”

“Who?”

“Yuuki Cross. I remember seeing mail from her. She was asking permission to come to the project on personal business.”

_To see you._

“She’s... an old friend. I haven’t seen her in a while...”

“How old?”

“I don’t know... Isn’t that my business?”

“I am responsible for what happens on this project. I don’t need any domestic squabbles to spill over onto my jurisdiction. When I hired you you’d said there was no-one...”

So that’s it.

“There isn’t anyone! Yuuki is an ex-girlfiend. I don’t know why she wants to see me...” Okay maybe he did but it didn’t count as he hadn’t agreed to anything.

“Then what should I do with the request?” Kaname paused to haul up the bags behind him, but was all ears. He heard when Zero stopped and seemed to consider it.

“Decline it. I don’t want to see her.” What’s done is done. He didn’t think he could trust her any more anyway. Besides, the last thing he needed was for them to hug or... anything – he was still a man after all - and Stephen or Dean got frisky. He didn’t relish trying to explain anything about this situation to her. Although, a part of him did wonder if it would make a difference...

“I’ll take care of it,” Kaname reassured as he hoisted the bags onto the next level before turning to hold out his hand to Zero to help him up, careful not to smile as he did so. No use making his petty jealousy evident to anyone else but himself...

 

 **“DO YOU ALL WANT ANY MORE?** I thought I heard Stephen saying...”

“No. _I’m_  stuffed. Thanks," Zero said firmly, feeling outnumbered for no reason whatsoever. "Who knew you could hydrate a meal so well?” Zero teased knowing there was nothing to it. But Kaname grinned and bowed a little, looking very pleased with himself. It seems the “easy-going Kaname” was back for whatever reason. They’d hiked a fair distance up the hill and eventually stopped by a gentle ridge. Just beyond it was a small cave with a sizeable flat outcropping ahead of it and a sheer drop of many, many feet. But before you noticed that, the absolutely gorgeous view took your breath away. This must be the valley she was talking about. Miles and miles of trees stood whatever direction you looked on either side of the valley, then relatively brief plains carpeted by wildflowers all bisected by the winding river. Zero was speechless for at least twenty minutes when he had come to the summit of the ridge and first saw it. He agreed with Shizuka. He needed to find out how to move here. Now, they were eating and warming themselves by the battery-powered stove they had brought, having set up camp and gone on another short hike after lunch.

“A fellow student gave me the formula and no matter how I try I can’t forget it.”

“It has survived all the years very well then.”

Kaname laughed, leaning back in one of their folding chairs.

“You make me sound ancient. I’m not that much older than you are.”

“Two decades?”

“Try one and a half.”

“Close enough. It must be a long time if you have gotten as far as you have.” _And as rich._

“I am where I am because I worked very hard. Put in long hours...”

“To each his own. I prefer to smell the roses, take weekends off. GE doesn’t own me...”

“Nor me. But it seems we have differing views on ‘success’.”

“That’s it exactly. I respect your wish to work yourself to an early grave and...”

“Actually, I’m glad you don’t feel the same way I do. It probably means you wouldn’t mind staying home to care for them for a while...”

“I know. Three months afterward...”

“I was thinking three years or more...”

“What?! Not work for three...?!”

“It’s the best way and you will be well compensated. It will be until we can find someone we trust to take over their education and care when they are old enough.”

“I can’t... I’ll go crazy...!” Nothing but the kids and him all day! FOR THREE YEARS!!!

“It’s either you or me and I have more to lose than you do. When this year is up your contract will also be up. You’ll be jobless anyway.”

“Damn, Kaname. I may not stay up three days in a row to press deadlines but I like my job! I like to work...!”

“It’s not forever, Zero. Just think about it, okay? Please.”

And Zero did, going quiet as he sipped his hot chocolate, looking out in the dim, fading light over the valley. That’s years of his life, sitting at home, slowly becoming a soccer-mom. He wanted to get angry again at the unfairness but what Kaname had said made sense. He just hadn’t thought that far ahead. Still, the fear of losing himself entirely loomed at the back of his mind.

“I think I’ll turn in early. I’m exhausted.”

Kaname stood and yawned luxuriantly all while stretching lengthily. He really was dead on his feet and knew Zero must be too but his enthusiasm lay in his other motivation. You see, there were two sleeping sacks but one tent, - he'd "accidentally" left his behind and Zero offered to share - which they had unpacked inside the safer, narrow space of the cave. Zero would be right beside him tonight, even if in a separate sleeping bag. He’d be there. He’d be with him. Them. All night. And since Zero liked to cuddle in his sleep and he had disabled the seals on the sleeping bags, chances are he’d end up holding him again. And he won’t be sneaking away before he woke up.

“You’re right. I think I will as well. But you go first. I’ll follow shortly.” He wanted to savour the night and his other thoughts.

“... Alright. Don’t be long.” Kaname ordered, going to the mouth of the cave and unsealing the opening. His disappointment was hard to disguise.

“I won’t.”

 

 **KANAME AWOKE TO A HEAVY** , warm weight on his body, an arm and a leg thrown over him, a large stomach propped against his own. He shifted just a little to reach for his i-assistant. Five thirty-seven a.m. Damn. He hadn’t intended to sleep this long. He’d wanted to wake up as he usually did to check on him, watch him sleep and fondle his stomach. Now he only had half an hour before Zero awoke. The opportunity was almost entirely wasted. He must have been very tired indeed. Or maybe... his body had been already receiving what it needed, what it yearned for.

Kaname raised a hand and caressed Zero’s hair, something he couldn’t do when the other was awake. The silvery, silky strands slipped along his fingers and caught the light from the early morning glow that escaped the barrier of the sheer material of the tent. He then drew his hands lower to Zero’s back, to the small of it and then across to the warm expanse of abdomen, waiting to see if he would be lucky enough to pick up any movement at all at this stage. He had lain like this for a while, rubbing Zero’s stomach gently and his back with the other hand when Zero stirred, but instead of waking he made a funny little sound in his throat and pressed closer to him, nuzzling Kaname’s neck. Zero seemed to like it, Kaname observed, craning his neck a little to look at him. Even if he is not aware of it he liked Kaname’s touch. And that seemed apt somehow. After all he was determined that Zero should be _his_. Maybe he should like other things as well...

Kaname looked toward the opening to the cave and the lightening sky and thought about the last few days and the fact that their holiday was almost over. Here he was with Zero draped over him, almost burrowing into his heat and they looked forward to a long time together, raising their children. It seemed natural that the intimacy should increase as well, that Kaname should want it to. And whether Zero liked it or not he was their mother. He would give birth to them because of the twenty-five percent of him that no man possessed, that made this possible. That made him also female...

Zero became fully conscious, his body aching sweetly as he realised someone was kissing him with increasing fervour, was fondling him intimately with a hot, enthusiastic hand. He moaned as his lips were sucked expertly, wave after wave of blistering pleasure coursing through him without a chance for respite. He soon found he was kissing back, his own hunger coming to the fore, his lungs drawing in that intoxicating scent, his teeth impatiently trapping those sweet, teasing lips and dragging them mercilessly into his mouth. Sucking...

A loud, tortured groan broke through the atmospheric loud breathing... and completely threw Zero. He had been rolled to his back, the warm weight leaning over him, plundering his mouth, hands restlessly roaming his body. He knew it was Kaname, even if the light was quite dim, his eyes were pressed closed and his mind still clung to the surrealistic eddies of sleep and mind-blowing pleasure, he did _know_ he was kissing him, that his body was responding to him, was excited by him... But this deep, audible plea jolted him into reality, he began to really think about _who_ he was kissing and why, and what that plea begged for...

“No... No! Stop...!”

Zero removed his hands from grappling Kaname’s thick hair and began to push on his shoulders. There was some struggle but finally Kaname removed his mouth from kissing Zero’s exposed neck and directed a dark, aroused gaze at him.  
Zero compressed his deliciously tingling lips as he noticed the flushed skin and agonised breathing of the man that leaned over him, his eyes devouring his face like a sumptuous spread. His eyes lit on the small, grazed, reddened area near the corner of Kaname’s lower lip and closed his eyes and shivered, knowing he’d put it there...

Kaname’s mouth descended hungrily to capture Zero’s lips again, pressing deep at once, his tongue exploring the moist heat with an ardour he could hardly control. His body was on fire for him, the ache robbing him of coherent thought. He wanted him. Wanted every part of him...

Zero felt the cool air on his chest before the hot palm replaced it, delicately rubbing the sensitive, swollen peak with evident experience. Zero groaned as the white, hot delirious pleasure coursed through him from this act alone and Kaname tore his lips away and began to... Dear God...

Zero keened as if his mind would break. Each frenetic pass of that strong, hot, rough, slippery muscle over his nipples sent several mini-climaxes through him, right to his toes. He knew his body was hypersensitive because of his condition. He’d begun to wear soft pyjamas to mitigate some of the friction and, well, the length of time he spent in the shower wasn’t entirely due to his difficulty reaching certain bits of his anatomy. But this, this was...

“Oh! Oh fuck!”

Zero had felt the intimate invasion of Kaname’s fingers, but the confidently orchestrated sheathing into his sodden core was far too quick for him to stop it before he was assailed by waves of wonderful pins and needles before the dulcet aching throbs shot through him that seemed to originate from Kaname’s opportunistic, writhing digits. He swore loudly, his hands slackening tellingly against the brunette's very active arm, as the wonderful contractions began in his stomach, each one making it impossible to think. Zero’s sweetly assaulted chest heaved as he rode out each devastating rhythm then he seemed to lose breath altogether as Kaname vigorously vibrated his sunken fingers, all while cupping the youth’s erection by sheer instinct. Zero screamed as he finally and agonisingly crested...

Zero had no strength left whatsoever to stop him. Not after that. His muscles were useless, his hands shaking violently as he threaded his fingers into Kaname’s hair to stop him, to pull him from between his legs. No. He didn’t want... He wasn’t supposed to let anyone see it, touch it, much less... It wasn’t supposed to exist.

“No... Kaname. _Please..._ ”

Kaname ignored him, only wincing a little as Zero’s strength seemed to return as he ran his tongue along the scarred edges tentatively, the youth’s fingers pulling his hair almost unbearably as his breath caught. Kaname closed his eyes on his taste. It was different but still _feminine_... Kaname tried it again.  And again. Soon his tongue was lapping greedily, forsaking all protests to the contrary, his arms gathering Zero tightly to him lest the youth succeeded in separating him from his prize.  It did help that Zero's large baby-bumb mostly shielded him from a more comprehensive effort.

“Kaname!”

Zero gasped in horror at being intimately invaded like this then moaned, his body almost involuntarily contracting then arching back, writhing on the cushion of the sleeping bags as that strong, hot, wet muscle repeatedly invaded, explored, retracted to taste him, before repeating in a tellingly noisy exercise. Without reserve, as if he was eating a favourite desert. Zero tried to pull away but strong arms held his hips and stomach, caressing as well as steadying him, keeping him affixed to their owner's insatiable mouth. Zero’s mind revolted at this. That part... He hated that part. It was a constant reminder of what was _wrong_ with him. This gross, weeping orifice he had to put up with for the children's sake but only until they were safely born. Then he would be rid of the scarred, misshapen, messy thing. But his body had other ideas. His body couldn't get enough...

“FUCK!! AHHHH!! _Kaname!!!_ ”

Zero buried his face into the soft material beneath him as he was again snatched into a series of hot spasms, his body shaking, writhing, rolling as he crested violently, his insides wrenching deliciously, his hands releasing the dark, tortured strands to desperately pull at the hands that held him close, trying to obtain a reprieve. Kaname's tongue, he noticed, stayed buried inside during this, especially as – God help him – he began to rock his hips to maximise whatever it was. He... liked the feeling of something inside this place. Wanted something deep inside to keep the sweet massage going. Zero mindlessly pushed up his body almost to sit on it, trying to increase the depth, signalling to his partner what he wanted, what he needed...

Kaname reluctantly pulled away from Zero’s heat and sat up. He began to undress, throwing the vest over his head and then kicking off the almost divested shorts. He came up to lean over the sweat covered, gasping mass that was his standoffish assistant but now his lover. Soon in every sense...

“You make me crazy. You have no idea how much,” Kaname moaned breathlessly, before kissing Zero again. He then rolled Zero onto his side just a little so he could slip in to lie behind him. Ever mindful of his partner's comfort he decided this position would be best although he longed to watch his reactions as he took him. Wanted to see the point when he would have to admit he was possessed by him and... love him for it...

Zero cried out as the telling pressure was brought to bear and then slipped inside. There had been pain at first, the scarred tissue not wanting to stretch as it should and then something else inside him that broke... But Kaname - who had been kissing him, touching him, almost in apology, comfortingly - began to move, sliding deep, then retracting, steadily, proprietarily. Each pass beginning to give both lovers the satisfaction they both craved. Zero leaned forward as his body began to erupt again, wanting it still deeper to hit _that_ spot, but was pulled back into his lover’s arms firmly, claimed entirely as Kaname too lost himself to the undeniable pleasure he was feeling. His erratic breaths stirred Zero’s hair as his body completely took over, his hips with some abandon slapping Zero’s behind hard, trying to join even more with him, trying to get everything it needed from its partner, its mate. Zero whimpered as he embarked on another stomach wrenching, coursing burst of pleasure, grabbing Kaname’s arms as they gripped him tightly as if begging him not to stop, not to deny him...

Kaname swore as he finally lost it completely, pressing deeply, his own muscles clenching, rippling in the stronger light of day as he tried to bury himself even more as he rode out the storm. Zero muscles massaged his tender length, welcoming him in their own climactic fashion and Kaname groaned, collapsing onto him, already aching to repeat the experience, already mourning that he’d have to separate from him. Zero! Zero...

 

 **ZERO OPENED** his eyes and sleepily took in his surroundings, relieved. He was starving. His stomach growled with the abandon of the truly needy. He moved a little, his body becoming aware immediately of being held tightly and the oddity of there being a something “sleeping” inside of him. He coloured in embarrassment as the morning’s activities came back to him. Shit! Shit! You mean... it hadn’t been a dream?

“Zero... Zero! Wait!”

Wait? Wait for what? Was he insane?! This was not happening...!

“Zero, please! Don’t run! Please!”

Yes, he was high-tailing it like the coward he really was. He’d just... Oh God. Oh God...

“Zero! Stop!”

Kaname reached for him and grabbed him and they fell in a tangle of limbs, but Kaname pulled him down on top of him, somewhat cushioning the jolt. For Zero. Kaname groaned in pain. A rib felt bruised or broken...

Zero struggled anyway to get up. He refused to deal with this. He just couldn’t stand the idea...

“Let me go!”

Zero punched at Kaname who covered his head but latched onto Zero with his legs, rolling him beneath them. They were both in the state they’d slept in: Kaname nude and Zero with a trailing cape of his pyjama top. He pulled it around him as Kaname straddled his legs, then began to kick and punch again.

“Zero, wait! You’ll hurt yourself like that! Just calm down!”

“Get off of me! Let me go, you fucking asshole!”

“Zero...” Kaname growled as a fist connected with his jaw painfully but he caught the arms and pinned them to his sides before he rolled him and dragged the pyjama top down his shoulders twisting them in a bunch behind him, trapping said arms. Zero screamed in a murderous rage. He was essentially beached, as it were. He hadn’t the leverage to stand. And Kaname only had to use one hand.

“We are going to stay here until you are willing to talk like an adult. I should warn you that this is a trail fairly popular with hikers...”

“Low down, common, fucking son of a whore...!”

Kaname slid his legs over Zero’s kicking ones and lay back on the grass looking up at the morning sky, waiting until Zero tired himself out or got hungry or both. How could this have gone so wrong? The way they’d made love... How could Zero not see how perfect they were together? It escaped Kaname that he’d had more time to get used to the idea. He’d gone after what he’d wanted but had Zero wanted the same thing? It certainly didn’t look that way.

Zero eventually subsided into tears, his shoulders shaking violently from the sobs, the final indignity. Kaname reached out to hold one shoulder but it recoiled from his hand. He gave up trying to connect physically.

“It is not the end of the world, Zero. We made love, that’s all,” Kaname nearly choked on that one. He forced flippancy into his voice he certainly didn’t feel. That _wasn't_ all. It may surprise many people, excluding his wife, that he never had casual relations. It just wasn’t in his makeup. He knew, as true as he had been felled by Zero’s kiss that he was hooked. Completely. “If... if you regret what we’ve done all you have to do is say so and we could resume our former relationship. That’s what adults do...” He was told...

“You don’t understand! You don’t understand what you’ve done!”

“Zero, if you need a moment to compose yourself, go ahead. I don’t understand anything you’re saying...”

“This isn’t me! THIS ISN’T ME!! This fucking crying and... I would never have done this with you or any man! I would never have let anyone do...” Zero trailed off. He couldn’t say it.

“What? Screw you? _Fuck_ you?” Kaname began, feeling in the mood to be cruel. Zero wasn’t just upset by what happened. He was rejecting him altogether. Like a bad meal he’d had the misfortune to consume. “Are you _upset_ that you enjoy having a big, hard cock in your va...?”

“Stop it! You fucking mother-fu...!”

“What’s the matter? Is your tiny brain having trouble with the parts of you that want a man? Is that it?” Kaname’s tone of voice was positively slimy and he knew it...

“Go to hell! You go to hell!”

“No problem! I was there from the moment I met you, you stupid, immature jerk!”

Kaname released him and stood, heading back to the camp to pack up. Zero can do whatever he liked. Jump off a cliff if he wanted. Fucking idiot! He had no time for morons. If he didn’t know what he had so much the better. Kaname felt enough of a fool already.

“You can have them! Do you hear me? I don’t want them!”

“What? Have you lost your mind?”

“You and Shizuka can raise them as your own. That’s what you really want, isn’t it? That’s why she stayed over on Sunday? You still love her but you wanted children as well. At any cost. Well, you have them. Four more months and you can have your wish: your wife and a huge family. You don’t need to seduce me as well...!”

“You god-damn bottom-feeder...! You really think...?”

“My vision of my life did not include giving it up to be your frigging baby machine or woman or whatever you think of me...!”

“You’re insane! If you think that I would...!”

“I know you did! Why else would you do this? You have no scruples! You’ve proven that already! You kidnapped me and forced me into this and I _hate_ you for it! This isn’t me! This isn’t the life I would have chosen and I am going to take it back! You can have back these... Devil’s spawn you impregnated me with and you all can go to hell!”

At this Zero turned and ran away from him but this time Kaname did nothing to follow.

 

to be continued.


	12. The Price

The Price

 

 **ZERO** hopped down from the air-taxi practically as soon as it landed, ignoring the instruction from his boss to wait. He marched across the grass to the house, not waiting for anyone. He couldn’t stand to be near him a second longer, couldn’t stand to have his touch on his skin, and… other things. He needed a shower. He needed to pack and leave.

“Zero!”

Zero began to run as he heard Kaname coming after him. Soon, he was at the front entrance and pressed his palm to the panel, the door opening to him immediately. Kaname had programmed the house to allow him access to various places, inside being one of them. Kaname caught up to him as he started up the stairs.

“Zero! Will you stop behaving like a child and let us discuss this?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Let go of me.”

“I’ll fix you something to eat and bring it up. We can…”

“Don’t come into my room!” Zero screamed, yanking himself away. “If you do I swear I will kill you!”

Zero continued up the stairs at a jog and Kaname made to follow when he heard someone clear his throat behind him.

“Sir?”

Kaname covered his irritation and turned back to the waiting pilot. What must he think of all this? Not that it mattered, really...

Zero had said nothing at all to him since he returned to the camp site. He’d gone into the tent with Kaname hot on his heels and started to dress, pulling on a T-shirt and jeans…

_“You’re bleeding! Zero…!”_

Kaname had rushed to him and tried to examine him. There were drying smears of blood on the inside of his thighs. But Zero had pushed him away violently then punched him as he had insisted on looking him over. Kaname had been determined to thwart his efforts until he has looked at his face: the ominous glare in his eyes and… the angry flush along his cheeks. He'd stayed away then, his own eyes showing his dawning realisation as Zero continued to dress and throw his things into his bag. Zero was furious and embarrassed enough to kill at having been made love to by Kaname, a man, and to make matters worse the blood from his torn hymen was drying on his thighs, torn by Kaname’s own... He could try to understand what was going through Zero's head. The regret he was feeling, the confusion but to his surprise he felt no remorse. As he watched Zero throw things around the tent and stuff his bag in a silent rage he felt a sense of pride and determination. He was the first and he would be the last. The only. Zero would be completely his…

But he had a long road ahead of him. He’d slipped up a little in the taxi, had tried to hold Zero’s hand when he had seemed calmer, hating the distance between them, but only soliciting another slap. Kaname caught the glimpse from the pilot as he nursed his lip. Great, he was sure he had no doubts what was going on between them. But Kaname also found that… he didn’t care. Not one bit.

“There you go,” Kaname said to the pilot, leaving him to let himself out. The door was open.

“Thank you, Sir!” The tip had been generous, but Kaname was already on his way up the stairs.

 

 **ZERO** went directly to the shower. Now he rubbed his skin vigorously, trying to get the feel, the scent… everything off of him. He was in tears again, sobbing a little as he raked the bath foam back and forth between his legs and down his thighs with little regard for comfort. He was livid. So much so he trembled. But not at Kaname. That would be childish. He hadn’t been raped, hadn’t been drunk. He had been in full control of his faculties when he had kissed Kaname: his lips, his neck, when he had run his hands all over his body, had gripped his head to him as his world dissolved into pure pleasure…

Zero threw the scrubbing foam across the cubicle and sank against the stone-grey tile, sliding down to sit in the shower. He covered his eyes and sobbed harder, hating himself and his weakness, the part of him that still wanted him, that had made his mouth water when he’d come back to the camp site and seen that tousle-haired gorgeous confection of a man, dressed in a skin hugging black T-shirt and jeans, looking at him with concern and… What was happening to him? What was wrong? Was it permanent? Could he stop it?

Zero pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes and tried to stop himself from bawling like this. It was easy to blame his hormones but it was harder to stop the instincts that came with them. It required some concentration, some will, some strength. He had to walk away. Distance himself. Maybe then he could begin to think on what to do. Right now it was too hard. Right now he wanted nothing more than to stay.

 

 **ZERO** came out of the bathroom to see Kaname sitting on his bed. He had changed his clothes, his hair still damp from his bath; his dark eyes regarded him with just the merest edge of sadness before he looked away to the tray beside him.

“I’ve brought you some food. You haven’t eaten since yesterday…”

“I’m not hungry. Now will you please leave?”

Zero pulled his robe tightly around him and went to the clothes chest in his room to remove some clothes, effectively dismissing him. Zero turned with his selection to the scent of a warm wrap, the sight of the steam rising from the carton and Kaname standing much too close. Zero’s mouth began to water again and his stomach reminded him it was still there and empty.

“There’s coffee as well,” Kaname edified simply as half the wrap disappeared into Zero’s mouth.

Zero nodded, his mouth too full to say anything, as he walked over to the bed and sat beside the tray. Kaname was already there by the time he’d settled handing him the tall plastic container. Zero took a long swig and sighed. How could he miss that he was this starved? The poor babies must have headaches by now.

Kaname waited silently, even as Zero took up another wrap and bit into it – he’d made three – trying to read Zero’s state of mind. He had eavesdropped in his room and heard him crying in the shower. That’s when he’d decided to let him have some time to himself while he showered and prepared the meal. Now he deliberately ignored the command to leave as he waited. They needed to talk. He could predict Zero’s next course of action as if it was written in stone.

“I need a little time off. A week. Maybe two.” Or eight.

There you have it. Zero was going to run away.

“Where are you going?”

“To visit a friend,” Zero said calmly. That’s it. Speak reasonably. Ignore the fact that you both had just had some fairly mind-blowing sex. “I haven’t seen her in a while. I think I need to go see how she is.” Nudge his mind and his libido in the right direction.

“Yuuki Cross?”

Zero made the mistake of looking up from the floor to Kaname’s face when he’d said this. He caught a glimpse of frustration and anger, a twist of soft lips before looking down again.

“It’s none of your business! The babies will be fine if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You know that’s not it!” Kaname growled, thumping the bed in a fit of temper. Zero placed the empty cartons on the tray and stood, walking away from him.

“Please go. I need to get dressed.”

“Not yet. Not just yet. I have something to say.”

“By all means, Mr. Kuran. Fire away.”

Kaname took a moment to run his hands into his hair and take a deep breath. All Zero had to do – and the youth knew it very well – was to refer to him formally when they were arguing and Kaname would just come _very_ close to losing it. He took another deep breath as he counted backward from ten to one before he looked up to where Zero stood with his arms folded, staring out of the window.

“I’m not sorry about what happened. I am attracted to you…”

“Oh please. Spare me…” Zero scoffed, heading around the bed again for the clothing he’d forgotten in his hunger.  He looked and felt like a mutant: a plump man with a growing baby-bump, tender breasts, long masculine limbs and a vagina.  All he needed to complete the Humpty Dumpty look were the suit, top hat and wall. Attracted, his ass.  If Zero had seen himself coming he'd have run the other way, not... Kaname rose to follow him.

“It’s the truth. And the way you were touching me... kissing my neck… I gave in to temptation. There is no sinister plot to trap you.”

Oh God. He remembered. He remembered the sweet scent, the warmth, the way the muscles had bunched beneath his teeth,the soft, low rumble in his throat before...

“However, if you go, remember that I will not be there to take care of you. You will be on your own. You have few resources and your pregnancy will continue to progress. It will be harder to hide then. You may become bedridden; even go into labour at any time. You will need expensive, specialised care because of the unusual circumstances or your life and that of the babies will be at risk. Can this Ms. Cross handle that?”

“Don’t think I don’t know you are trying to scare me...”

“I am simply laying out the facts. You constantly spit at me but I take care of your travel, housing, food, expenses – medical and otherwise - and protection. You’ve ‘chipped in once since you came to work for me…”

“At your insistence!”

“… And you’ve never had to worry about enforcers. If you stay I can promise you that the status quo will continue. I will do everything in my not inconsiderable power to keep you and protect you until you deliver and for at least five months afterward. Then you will be able to walk away, completely free with… fifty million dollars.”

Zero’s eyes opened wide at this, turning to stare at Kaname as if he was wearing a fluffy, pink boa. Fifty million dollars?!! Was he serious?

“It is the going rate for ‘unofficial’ surrogacy. You did say you didn’t want them? That they were ‘Devil’s spawn’?”

Zero winced. “I was angry, Kaname. Confused. I didn’t mean that...”

“What _do_ you mean, then? It is hard to figure it out from one moment to the next,” Kaname couldn’t help it. He was too upset to stay detached, the sarcasm rising like bile in his mouth. If there was a hell, this was it: wanting something badly, having it right in front of you and not able to touch it lest it slipped away, lest you lost it forever. Here he was trying to bribe, beg, bully when all he wanted to do was kiss him, to see him tremble with need, to lose himself in him. Kaname ran his fingers into his hair and met one of several tender spots where Zero had been gripping his hair not too long ago as he came repeatedly. Geez, his taste was still in his mouth. All Kaname wanted to do was rip that silly robe he was hiding under away from his body and back him onto the bed and not stop until dinnertime. Yep, Kaname was far from detached about this situation. But he had to pretend to be. Why? Why couldn’t Zero see what was right in front of his face? Because he wanted to be a man? But Kaname would let him. Kaname would let him be or do anything he wanted. As long as he let him love him.

“Forget it,” Zero ground out, bristling at Kaname’s tone. Smug son-of-a-bitch! Let him try making decisions while several potent chemicals were whizzing through his body, four wriggling beings were pressing up on his ribcage and down on his cervix and after having just been gloriously fucked by his _male_  boss. Zero was sure even Kaname would be fazed by having WGB Chairman Asato Ichijo up his... “Thank you for your kind offer but I’ll be fine. This is my problem.”

Zero made to walk around Kaname to the bathroom but didn’t make it. He was pounced on, his shoulders grabbed. Then he was shaken. Zero managed to yank himself away and push Kaname hard against the dresser.

“Get out!” he yelled pointing towards the door.

“Don’t be stupid. You can’t do this on your own!”

“Watch me…!”

“This is _our_ problem. Those babies are as much mine as yours!”

“Go ahead and prove it. See what else comes out in public,” Zero threatened. Or tried to.

“Indeed. What else? You having a perfectly functioning womb? The fact that two of the children you are carrying might be healthy girls? You may be able to scream assault to whoever wants to listen but I will be able to raise two boys while you, Emily and Charlotte disappear even before they took statements for the trial.”

Zero’s lips parted in horror. The thought of being forced to… and the girls as well…? Kaname walked forward to stand right in front of him, his voice low, conciliatory.

“All I am saying is that you need to stop thinking of only yourself now. There is much more at stake. What happened was interesting but it is over. We’ve realised our mistake and we can go forward, like adults. After all, I am certain this isn't your first one night stand and I am equally sure it won't be your last. I promise you if you stay you will be safe, including from... unwanted attentions from me.”

Zero came out of his stupor at this. Unwanted? _Unwanted_?! He closed his eyes. The sentence seemed to echo in his mind just to taunt him. Along with the rough edge to Kaname’s voice that he hadn’t quite hid. Unwanted. Oh God. Couldn’t he tell he was trying to get away because the opposite was true? Was it so well hidden how his insides quaked when he came near? Or when he touched him? This… This situation was unbearable.

But those things weren’t important. Not really. Not… really…

“Fine. I’ll stay.” Zero whispered, looking defeated, only rubbing his stomach where Dean seemed to be stretching a bit, reminding him of what was important, what should matter.

Kaname nodded, not trusting his voice at that point. He gestured as if to suggest that Zero should get on with what he was doing and turned to leave, his face collapsing in relief and anguish only when his back was turned. It was a hollow victory. He could see how unhappy Zero was, how trapped he felt. With him. He decided to say what normally cheered most people up when such... unpleasantness must be endured.

“I’ll have the details arranged for the money. The contracts…”

“No…”

“No?”

“No contracts,” Zero was staring out the windows again, avoiding his gaze. “I… trust you.”

Kaname touched the door panel and left without another word. He couldn’t stay. The temptation to prove him wrong had just become too strong to resist…

 

 **“OH LOOK!** That nice looking lady has come back.”

“I sure hope she has permission. Otherwise you’ll have to call the boss.”

“Me? Why me? You’re the supervisor!”

“I have a family to support. Didn’t you see how he fired half the eastern construction point for being behind schedule a few days?”

“Yes. I did! I’m already on borrowed time because I dared to ask if he enjoyed his trip! It’s been almost a month and each time he sees me he still scowls.”

“You shouldn’t have said anything. You see, when I saw his face I went over to another station. Common sense. Understanding there’s a time and place for everything. That’s how you get ahead in life…”

“I’m _not_ calling…

“Excuse me?” the “nice looking lady” in question asked, a little hesitant to be breaking up the heated argument but not willing to stand there all day. “Sorry to interrupt, but if you could just let me through you can continue your scintillating conversation.”

“Do you… have permission?” the younger officer asked with some fatalism, thinking his day had come.  Yuuki lifted her hand to ‘chip as the older officer wandered off to empty a very important wastepaper basket. “He said he has given my I.D. the appropriate clearance.”

“Yes! You do have permission! From Kaname Kuran himself!”

“What?” His supervisor came over to supervise this. “Well, that’s a slice of good fortune…”

“May I go now? He’s expecting me.”

“Sure. Replace your visor and head over to that building on the left. Top floor.”

“Thank you.”

“It was our pleasure. Have a good one.”

Yuuki smiled in acknowledgment of the good wishes and pulled down her visor as instructed. She headed out the door and into the heat, conscious of the four eyes watching her go.

“Nice ass. Now that’s what I’m talking about. A man’s got to have diversions. Let some steam off.”

“Maybe that will finally lift his foul mood.”

"One can only hope. Okay! Back to work! We’re not paying you to watch tail!”

“Yes, Sir.”

 

to be continued


	13. Yuuki Cross Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. AM. SO. SORRY. I couldn't figure out how to edit without deleting the entire chapter. ... And the wonderful comments went with it. I tried EDIT but it kept reposting the old chapter! There is obviously some bug or I am stupid and can't figure it out but I still have the comments in my email. Thank you to Luan Rina, Jeronimo and False Positive. While I'm at it thanks to all the others who reviewed. Oh God, I feel terrible...

_I tried for realism but as I did more research I realised that Zero had no business hiking in his condition and it all went out the window from there.  Sigh.  But this is a (b)romance fan-fic with M-preg.  Possibly I'm being too hard on myself..._

Yuuki Cross Part 1

 

 **“NOW.**  You heard what Doctor Rosenberg said...”

“I know, Kaname.  I was there too.  I’ll do my best to keep still but I really can’t stay in bed all day and...”

“I’ll try not to be more than an hour.  I’d prefer if you stayed put until I returned.  Please,” Kaname interrupted, as he brought the requested items to the bed and placed them beside Zero on the mattress: two sausage wraps, a bowl of spaghetti and a cream-filled pastry.  He sat down beside Zero’s massive stomach and rubbed it confidently, possessively, as was his custom, sliding his palm and fingers over the soft material of Zero’s only garments these days - silk or satin pyjamas in various shades of his favourite colours (Kaname had gotten lots of pairs) - and looked into Zero’s eyes.  “He said with multiples births you are looking at a shorter gestation period.  If we’re lucky we’ll get to 32 weeks.  If a miracle occurs we’ll get to 36 weeks, which is ideal for a baby.  Right now you are at 27...”

“I know, Kaname,” Zero turned away from the earnest dark stare.  It was full of such concern and tenderness he didn’t want to see right now.  He couldn’t fool himself it was for the babies otherwise. 

“I know that you know, Zero.  I know that you know that you could give birth at any time, that it is unpredictable.  Still, I can’t make myself leave until I remind you of what is at stake.  I really wish I didn’t have to go but...”

“We’ll be okay, Kaname,” Zero reassured, attempting to return his gaze to Kaname’s in an effort to seem more convincing.  “You are worrying too much.  Doctor Rosenberg said some contractions were normal and I feel as I always do.  You both are blowing this out of proportion.”

“No.  We are not, Zero.  Damn, I wish I could get out of this inspection...”

“No!  Don’t do that.  You’ve spent fifteen minutes here already lecturing me and nothing’s happened.  Go on.  You’ll be back to harass me about not letting you supervise my toilet visits in no time.”

Kaname inhaled to rebut this last bitter remark then decided against it.  Besides, if he did examine his behaviour since the last visit with the doctor, he would suppose “overbearing” would be a fitting description.  But the news had scared him.  First, he hadn’t known that Zero was getting contractions until the doctor mentioned it...

_“I didn’t want to worry you...”_

_Bonehead._

...And second, he hadn’t realised they would have so little time left.  He had taken it for granted that Zero would carry them to nine months or close to it, barring incident.  It had been a real shock to hear that they could be born as early as seven!  And that was “normal”!

_Why would it be “normal” for his children to be born so early?_

Don’t get him wrong, he was excited.  The sooner they were in his arms and away from this precarious situation with Zero the better.  The sooner he could hold them and take care of them he could relax.  His need to control everything didn’t sit well with ceding any aspect of his children’s welfare to Zero - who was damned stubborn - especially with their relationship being as it was.  On tenterhooks.  But not if it would harm them!

Kaname sighed as he looked away, through the window and into the distance, his hand still propped on the mound of Zero’s stomach in between the four tiny dedicated heart monitors while Stephen twisted and punched impatiently, visibly, in his moist cocoon and while another seemed to be undergoing a bad case of hiccoughs – hard to pinpoint who though Kaname suspected it was Emily.  He looked away from how Zero lay propped in an almost exhausted collapse on numerous pillows, dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, knowing that under his pale grey pyjama shirt angry red stretch marks crossed his huge stomach in testimony to the discomfort he was feeling.  Kaname knew the winces he sometimes had as he sat in the easy chair going over work, as he insisted on doing, weren’t just contractions.  They had four healthy active babies on the way - that was a blessing... even if Zero had to constantly remind himself that was the case – and even if Zero only cursed under his breath and soldiered on, he didn’t want to leave his irritating assistant to weather this alone, not even for a second, especially not with their latest news.  The least he could do, as he couldn’t take this away from him, help him, was to be there.

“I’ll try to be back within the hour,” Kaname whispered, almost addressing Zero’s stomach, before rising to his feet to leave, much to the other's relief.  He hesitated though, before the open door, turning back toward Zero as if to say something else, inadvertently giving the youth a good view of his fully dressed frame in the pale-red glow of the late morning sunlight.  Unknowingly Zero's lips parted as he admired him.  That superbly fitted dark suit, the narrow silk tie, the swept back hair... made him look...

“You look... nice...” Zero found himself saying, instantly feeling the word was inadequate, before blushing profusedly and looking away, pretending to inspect the offerings beside him.  He only looked up when the brunette, eventually, left his room and the door close behind him. 

 _You look nice._ God!  Had he really said that? 

Zero pushed the tray aside in disgust and collapsed back onto the pillows.  He could be forgiven, he thought, scrambling for a way to salvage his dignity in his mind.  Kaname was usually hardly in anything but simple buttoned shirt and pants, neither of them standing on ceremony on this worksite.  Today was something special, he'd gathered, and his boss had made the effort.  That's all.  He'd looked different.  Anybody would have reacted that way to...  their employer...

Employer.  What a joke. Zero hardly behaved like an employee.  He took a deep breath, one of many in his attempt to not go crazy.  It wasn’t just the inactivity and the discomfort.  It wasn’t just the lack of sleep or the imminent danger of his going into labour at any moment – even that had been reduced by the drugs Dr. Rosenberg had insisted he start taking on his last visit.  Yes, Zero didn’t even have the biweekly visits to the city to look forward to anymore, instead Dr. Rosenberg had visited once a week for the last three weeks and had filled them in on his own research on his last visit – which had been met by some fury by Kaname towards the visibly upset doctor but it was only recently he’d risked going to the medical archives and calling in a favour as a result of Zero’s early contractions. 

Now Zero’s days consisted of waking up, waddling to the bathroom tens of times a day, – yes, he’d begun to waddle, much to his own disgust - being too uncomfortable to work but wanting to anyway and becoming irritable, eating his way through everything in the Auto-Cook faster than the food-base can be replenished and then finally going to bed to try to sleep and when he did... he would dream of...

Zero squeezed his tired eyes shut.  Kaname.  The truth had been there for him to acknowledge it, if he had dared to, for some time but now he couldn’t ignore it.  He had fallen for his “boss”.  But that wasn’t what was most unbearable.  If it had been one sided, Zero could have hidden his feelings, considered it a symptom of being stir-crazy and wait patiently for his released from this prison to have several drinks and hope to recover.  After all, it had happened before with Yuuki.  There comes a point where you cease to make a fool of yourself and the pain fades to a mildly annoying background hum with the occasional spikes around certain remembered special occasions and sights of sickeningly canoodling couples.  At those times you drank some more.  But this wasn’t one-sided.  Not in the least...

It had been after the second visit from Dr. Rosenberg.  Zero had mentioned having some more contractions to him over a call and the doctor had reassured him that they were normal, merely a practise for delivery.  This was before they had gotten more numerous.  Zero had received some good news and had been in a good mood.  He had even been prepared to cheer up the irate brunette who was still reeling from the news of the contractions.

_“I didn’t want you to worry. Look, he said it was nothing!”_

_“You should still have told me.  How can I even trust you now to be responsible...?”_

_“You think I don’t have these babies’ welfare at heart?  Would I even be here if I didn’t?”_

_“I know.  But it still scared me, Zero.  Who knows what else could be happening that you won’t tell me about?”_

_“That’s pretty much it.  I believe you know about the constipation, back pain, heartburn...”_

_“You know what I mean...”_

_“I’m okay.  We’re fine.  Aren’t we, guys?”_

Zero had been cocky, relieved, happy.  He smiled unreservedly at Kaname, only pulling at one of his hands as they were folded to his chest, the surest indicator that Kaname was sulking as they were normally somewhere on his anatomy when he was nearby - usually his stomach - and placed it on the area where Dean was kicking.

_“I’m so glad he shifted position.  I was sure we’d have to hose them down.”_

Kaname laughed at this and his other hand came down to check on Emily.

_“She’s quiet.  There could be a truce in effect.”_

_“A definite cease-fire.  Perhaps my ribs could be spared the consequences of their feud tonight and I can get some sleep.”_

_“You do look very tired.  I’ve told you that you don’t have to come out here and ‘work’ anymore.  Just stay in your room and rest.”_

_“You may as well tell me to go crazy.”_

Kaname had reached out to cup his face, to run a gentle thumb under one of Zero's red-rimmed eyes as he had said this, the touch quite unexpected.  But instead of flinching away, Zero had closed his eyes and leaned in to the touch, his body blossoming at the scent and feel.  The need to be held by this man coursed through him...

The kiss had been sudden, also unexpected.  The hunger even more so.  A hot, length of tongue parted his lips easily, going to deep into his mouth as if to devour him.  Zero whimpered as his body capitulated, his hand moving from the reflexive push at the lithe, muscular body over him to wrap his arms around his neck, his fingers twining his hair, to press his aching chest to the hard, warm, safe body above him.  The head tilted to suck his lips, play with them with his tongue in ways that made Zero...

_“Shit!”_

Zero had torn himself away to catch his breath.  His pyjama bottoms were already soggy.  God, he could kiss...

_“Zero...”_

The moan was plaintive, beseeching, as kisses rained onto his neck, a tongue was planted into his ear and a hand roughly, impatiently pushed his pants down before cupping his hardness firmly, before massaging it back and forth in his warm palm with a determination that wasn’t lost on Zero.

_“Oh!  Ooohhhhh  fuck...”_

Zero moaned and cursed again, now clinging to Kaname helplessly.  He was losing his mind, his body burned, stomach already clenched into a tight ball as he neared his limit quickly.  Who knew a hand could feel this good?  He didn’t want it to stop...

At this point Kaname had lifted his head from nibbling Zero’s nipple through the pyjama top, disentangling himself briefly to remove his shirt, wanting to feel Zero's hands on his skin.  A quick movement that revealed his taut upper torso to the light from the filtered afternoon sun.  Zero’s mouth watered at his beauty.  He longed to press his tongue to his skin, to follow that thin arrow of hair to the inevitable, knowing the heat alone would set him off...

_“We have to go to your room or mine...”_

___“What?”_

_“As much as I would love to do this here, I don’t want to risk hurting you.”_

Zero was really trying to understand, then it dawn on him what Kaname wanted.  Then it dawned on him what he was doing, about to do.  Zero withdrew from the proceedings, his panic rising again.  _No! What are you doing? This is a mistake!_

Kaname, who by now was quite naked save for a small pair of clingy navy cotton boxers that left nothing for the imagination, dropped to one knee beside the recliner.  He saw what was occurring in Zero’s mind on his face, as plainly as if he had been drawn a map.  He came up to perch himself on the arm of the chair, his anatomical consequence almost at eye level and placed his hands on either side of Zero’s head, leaning in close.  He held Zero’s gaze for a long while, eventually breaking into a smile as the youth’s breath rate increased to match his, he dared surmise from his tantalising proximity.  Dimples were in evidence as Kaname touched his nose to Zero’s.  They disappeared though as full lips slid teasingly across the other’s causing Zero to part his almost unconsciously.  Damn, he was sexy...

_“We don’t have to do anything that disturbs you, Zero.  In fact, I would be just as happy to use only my... mouth on you, as you probably may have already guessed.  But... you can set the pace if you want.  Whatever you want.  Just tell...  me...”_

This last bit nearly got lost in between a couple of wanton kisses but Zero certainly got lost in the final kiss that quickly disintegrated into some urgent groping and an enthusiastic attempt to swallow his left breast whole while flicking the very tip with his tongue...  God, he loved when he did that.  Zero, whose head was lolled back against the chair in boneless ecstasy, began to make those half-gasp, half-moaning sounds of which he was completely unaware, especially as Kaname had resumed stroking his hot, sensitive length again.  His hand was so warm, so good.  But then it was replaced by his mouth...  The merest residual imprint of Zero's abdominal muscles showed as he cried out and convulsed, such was the intensity of the stimuli.  He cried out again as he barrelled towards the edge, the babies subjected to a wonderful rhythm as Zero thrashed, his stomach clenching repeatedly as he crested....

_“Wait...  Kaname...  Kaname!  Mr. Kuran!”_

Zero was brought out of his orgasmic stupor by the confident invasion into _that_ place by two searching fingers.  His sweetly aching muscles contracted greedily around the digits, much to the delight of their owner, whose low groan could be heard despite the quite occupied throat. But no.  Zero was adamant.  He couldn’t do this.  Although he could understand that asking a painfully aroused man to ignore a tight, hot, wet entrance was like telling a starving man to ignore the bread basket, it wasn’t what he wanted.  He wasn’t comfortable acknowledging it, using it.  He wanted to hide it, wanted to ignore its existence and make it go away.  It was his shame, his burden and all the more so because he enjoyed when it was... used, like some god-damn woman.  It was probably why he was behaving like this, why he was falling for a man...

_“No!  Stop!”_

Zero began to hit Kaname about the body.  Hard.  Leaving the man - who had had his own brief debate about taking Zero’s erection in his mouth and had elected to do so as he was obviously enjoying himself and had thrown himself into the endeavour with his usual commitment to such things - in no doubt he wanted to stop.  Kaname pulled away and brought up both hands to trap Zero’s, rising to pin them, with much effort, on either side of him.  Zero continued to fight, especially as he felt the moist evidence of where Kaname’s hand had been on his right arm.  Why did this happen?  Why?

_“Zero.  Stop it!  Zero!”_

_“Let me go!  I want you to leave me alone!”_

_“Alright!  Just don’t excite yourself like this, my love.  Please...”_

Zero, who had been swearing like a lunatic, stopped.  Stopped... everything...

_“What?  What did you say?”_

_“I said to not excite yourself...”_

_“I meant...”_

_“Yes.  I called you ‘my love’.  In case you haven’t guessed by now, I l...”_

_“No!  Don’t say that!”_

_“Zero, it won’t make it less true.  I love you.  I want to take care of you...”_

_“God, you would stop at nothing!”_

_“What?”_

_“I know what you want!  If you think I’m going through this again you’re mad!  Despite how much you try to manipulate me...!”_

_“No!  That’s not it at all!”_

“Really!” Zero sneered, fighting to get up. 

Kaname eventually took pity on the poor beached animal and helped him up.  Zero snatched himself away as soon as he was upright. 

_“If I got myself ‘fixed’ you’d still say those words?  I doubt it.  You’re in love with a vision of how you want your life!  With some doting baby-machine at home waiting for you...”_

_“No!  It’s not like that!  I want you.  Of course, I don’t want you to remove your uterus but that is a different debate...”_

_“Oh, is it?”_

_“Yes.  You see how things are.  You can’t callously decide to destroy any real hope for our survival...”_

_“Yours, you mean.”_

_“And yours.  Have you so little sense of the power you have?  Has it really escaped you in all your self-absorption?  To be ashamed of something so wonderful...”_

_“Then you do it, then!  You find a way to take this from me...!”_

_“Please.  Who do you think you’re talking to?  I considered that the moment I found out about you.”_

_“What?”_

Zero paused in his tantrum and turned back towards the cold brunette.  Kaname faced him unflinchingly.

_“You heard me.  That had been my first choice, especially since it had been found inside a ‘man’.  A woman I could charm.  Woo. Bribe.  But a man...  I saw the complications.  I knew you wouldn’t help.  Your profile suggested a certain lack of civic-mindedness and an abundance of rebellious tendencies.  It was a factor in how I chose to engage you.  After I was assured that the risks of transplantation were too great I abandoned the idea.  That is of the risk of miscarriage if I did conceive at all after the procedure.  I didn’t care about myself.”_

_“You madman.  You would consider that.  Consider...”_

_“What do you care?  You didn’t want it.  And I did.  I would gladly be in your shoes.  If there had been a good chance I would have taken it.  And you would have given it to me.  I had no doubt.”_

He would have.  He would have...  Why did the thought repulse him?  Zero turned to go back to his room, his right hand rising to rub his stomach.  Charlotte was trying out her legs.  He could feel her little limbs against the pit of his stomach along with the urge to urinate.  He would have given it up in a heartbeat.  Anything to avoid responsibility.  God, he had been such a loser...

_“Zero...”_

_“I’m going to the toilet.  Then to take a nap.  Excuse me.”_

_“I’ll come.”_

_“No!  Fucking leave me alone...!”_

_“...Just to make sure you’re okay.”_   Kaname continued, totally unfazed.  But you could understand now.  Kaname had been willing to die for these kids.  He would move the very earth to make sure they survived.  Zero admitted defeat as he was escorted to the john but took some satisfaction in being able to close the door in his face.

_“I meant what I said, Zero.”_

_“About what?”_

_“Loving you.  Stay with me, regardless of what you do decide to do.”_

_“I can’t...  It’s a shame but...  I’m in love with someone else.”_

What a lie!  Why had he said that?

 _“Really?”_ Kaname intoned, leaning against the door, turning his head into the crack to speak, not caring how pathetic he seemed.  He didn’t believe this in the slightest and communicated as much.  Zero was involved with nobody.  He’d checked.  And he wouldn’t respond to him this way if he...

_“I had spoken to her that night at the adult shows, before we went to Finland.  She wants me back and I was considering it when you caught me awake.  She had hurt me... but I still love her and she would be a great help with the kids...”_

Kaname straightened and walked over to the bed to sit.  He was lying.  He had to be...

_“Yuuki Cross.”_

_“Yes.  I trust her and you’d said we would need help once they arrive.  She’d always wanted kids.  Had gone to... great lengths to conceive...  Anyway, four children would be hard to manage on my own...”_

_“We... don’t need anyone else, Zero.  I was thinking of moving us back to the apartment close to your time and resuming my duties at GE in full.  I’ll be nearby if you need me and you’ll have the ‘bots to help...”_

_“It’s not the same!”_

The sound of splashing water was heard for a few moments and then the door to the bathroom opened.  Zero crossed the room and threw the dehydrating strip into recycling before turning to face Kaname.  Now that he had a straw to latch onto he was damned courageous.  He was beginning to believe it himself...

_“You’d said I’ll still be stuck at home for years with the kids and that isn’t necessary.  Yuuki has a bit of money from her parents and was never one to be tied to a job for long.  She’d be great...”_

_“No.  Absolutely not.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Too much is a stake here.  And you’d as much as confirmed that she was flighty...”_

_“Only about working.  If something was worth it to her she’d stick around.  She’d love the idea of playing mother: dressing them in identical outfits, reading to them in funny voices, taking them for walks on the slightest provocation and... there’s always the possibility to hold on to... that we can have our own...”_

That was it.  The last straw.  It was completely irrational but the thought of Zero having anyone else’s children just about made him insane.  Before he knew it Kaname was on his feet. He stalked over to the silver-haired youth, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.  Zero was actually oscillated a couple of revolutions before he put out his arms and shoved Kaname away.  Had he gone nuts?  What was his problem?

_“If I see her... anywhere near my kids...”  Or you..._

_“My kids, Kaname.  MINE!  It is not your decision is it...?”_

_“Fuck you,”_ Kaname growled, his voice low.  Soft.  He was furious.  He felt threatened.  Both a bad combination in someone like him.  _“Do you really want to try me on this?  Do you?  We have a deal...!”_

_“You don’t scare me, Kaname.  There is nothing stopping me from walking out of here and you know it.  Maybe I want to change my mind about ‘the deal’.  Maybe I should.  After all, I am still being subjected to your 'unwanted attentions'...!”_

_“I know what this is about.  This is about what I said.  Do you have to be this childish about something like that?  Can’t you accept my love for you without being absurd?”_

_“This entire situation is absurd.  It’s about time I did something to salvage it.”_

Kaname leaned forward, fists clenched, sorely tempted to shake him again, but only turned abruptly and stormed off, the door barely having a chance to get out of the way...

 _“I’ll call her tonight and invite her over!”_   Zero shouted, enjoying having the last words, just before the door closed to separate them.  At which point he waddled over to the bed and sat on it... and promptly burst into tears.

 

 **IT HAD BEEN** very tense in the apartment for the entire week after that before the doctor came again.  Kaname did what was needed, both as a boss when Zero was up to working and as a caregiver but left Zero pretty much alone otherwise.  Zero didn’t mind.  This was how it needed to be.  Until Doctor Rosenberg dropped his bombshell.

 _“Thirty-two weeks!  Why the devil didn’t you say that before?”_ Kaname had thundered but it was no use.  The babies.  The poor babies...

Zero eventually tried to calm his thoughts enough and realised he was feeling peckish.  He sat up a bit and reached for the bowl of spaghetti and “meat” sauce, only delaying enough to get a utensil.  He’ll definitely get enormous now with all this bed rest.  He laughed sadly just after he swallowed the first mouthful.  Even at his most hideous Kaname still found him desirable.  He probably did have a few screws loose...

“Hey!  It’s alright, Dean.  It’s coming,” Zero soothed, pausing only to pat the moving bump he knew was Dean’s behind before continuing, his thoughts going away to other more mundane matters.

 

 **KANAME** exited the block and walked quickly to his vehicle.  If any of these people weren’t ready when he arrived he swore he’d lose it.  He kept his head low, his brow furrowed as he marched; only focused on one thing...

“Hello!  Do I have the right place?  I’m looking for Zero Kiriyuu?”

Kaname looked up; his face grimaced in irritation at the intrusion, only to spy a rather adorable, strange woman with huge, brown eyes looking up at him.  Kaname’s steel-trap-like mind connected immediately.

“Ms. Cross.  I’m sorry...  I had forgotten...”  Damn.  So much had happened in the last week and a half...

Yuuki looked puzzled for a while then realised.  Those eyes, the lips...

“Mr. Kuran!  I’m sorry!  I hadn’t recognised you!”

“That’s okay.  These canary suits would throw anyone off.  Look, I have to go now.  Perhaps...”

“That’s alright.  I’ll go up and see Zero.  Top floor?”

“...No... Wait.  He’s not expecting you now.  Perhaps you can come with me?  I’ll show you around and when we come back I’m sure he’ll be ready.”

“It’s okay.  We’ve known each other since...”

Kaname leaned in a bit and smiled, taking her hand gently though coupled with a slight hint of a caress.

“I promise... I’ll make it worth your while.”

Yuuki blinked, thought that maybe she could spare a few minutes, thought that the girls would never believe this and began to follow the tall man to his vehicle.  There was something about him as well.  Something... irresistible...

Why not?

 

to be continued

 

 


	14. Yuuki Cross Part 2

Yuuki Cross Part 2

 

Kaname smiled indulgently at the laughing guests at his table and excused himself, taking his i-assistant from his pocket.  He noted with some satisfaction that his last minute guest did not look up from her enthralling conversation with the WGB President Asato Ichijo as he walked briskly away towards the restrooms.  She had probably forgotten about Zero by now, he’d wager.  Between the new dress, shoes and jewellery he’d gotten her at a local boutique, the makeup and hairdo at the local salon – since she hadn’t come prepared to go to a formal reception and she really didn’t have to come to the actual inspection – and the introduction to some of the most famous people in the world, - WGB board members, politicians, models, actors, at least four shipping magnates to name but a few – a small thing like a visit to an ex-boyfriend was pushed quite far to the back of her mind.

But not Kaname’s.  He’d been quite distracted looking at his automatic updates during the walk-around, his speech, the President’s speech – during which he had been caught, but his friend had only made a joke about it at his expense – and during the reception.  Kaname, all during this auspicious occasion, knew Zero ate his spaghetti, took a half hour’s nap, rose to go to the toilet then went into the workspace to finish an assignment he’d begged him for yesterday, finished it after forty-five minutes, several bathroom breaks and two sausage wraps, stretched, went back into his room to the toilet, took his early afternoon medication while Kaname ached to be there to help him with the shot, went to bed, had been dozing for over an hour, the medication often making him drowsy, and was now in the kitchenette deciding on his late afternoon meal.  It was interesting how much was going on around the intense brunette but yet, even while the Vice President’s wife fell off her nine inch heels, Kaname’s attention seemed more riveted by the length of time Zero spent in the loo...

“Zero?”

“Who else?  Having a good time?”

Kaname knew it was an allusion to how long he’d been away.  It was coming up to four hours but it had been quite hard getting away.  You’d think people could get smashed and gorge themselves on finger food without his presence.  However, it was bad form to leave your own party, particularly when such praise - and monetary contributions - was being heaped onto you.  Highly suspicious to wave away the million dollar ‘chips and leave.  How would they know you were expecting?  Nor should they know.

Kaname checked the other stalls before pushing open the door to one and closing it behind him.  He locked it and leaned against it as the image of Zero projected onto the wall over the basin.

“I’m sorry.  I couldn’t get away...”

“Don’t be.  We...  We’re fine,” Zero replied.  Zero felt silly referring to himself in the plural but it always relaxed Kaname and reassured him.  Even now Zero saw as the frown line disappeared from Kaname’s brow and his shoulders dropped an inch.  His head tilted to one side as he smiled. 

“What are they doing now?”

“Kaname!” Zero cried in exasperation.  Why was he such a nutcase?  And the way he said it, the way he looked.  God, he felt dirty...  “Isn’t there anything left to inspect?  Are you sure...?”

“Tell me,” Kaname ordered, pushing off the door to close in on the sharp image, wishing he was there in person.

“...Alright.”  Zero sighed and resisted looking around him to see if anyone was looking.  “Charlotte’s asleep...”

“Was she up at all while I was away?”

“Yes,” Zero growled through his teeth.  His frustration was evident.  “I must have gone to the bathroom eight times while I was working.”

 _Six_ , Kaname thought but didn’t volunteer the correction.  He only motioned for Zero to go on.

“Stephen and Emily are just shifting occasionally, probably because Dean’s now rediscovering his legs and is keeping them up.”

“That bad?” Kaname didn’t pretend to commiserate.  He couldn’t even stop his dimples from showing and he normally had very good control over them.

“See for yourself.”

The view lowered to Zero’s stomach a small bump could be seen moving around just over his navel.  Zero obliged by lifting his pyjama top and it can be clearly seen, the impatient rubbing of a tiny limb amongst the vivid streaks of red stretch marks.  Zero lowered his pyjama top after a minute to the vociferous protest from the electronic voyeur.

“That’s it.  Show's over.  I have other things to do...”

“Zero!  I...”

“What is it, Kaname?”

Zero folded his robe over himself and held it there, unconsciously hiding his body, unconsciously placing a barrier between himself and Kaname.  Kaname ground his teeth, irrationally annoyed by this.  Who was he saving himself for?  Yuuki?  That’s what he’d said, right?  What he clung to like a life preserver?  Firm evidence of his so-called manhood.  Miserably steeped in the denial of what was obviously a part of him and what was right in front of his face.  Was it pride?  Or was it fear?  Fear of what?  What was Zero so afraid of?  Kaname had protected him this far, had taken care of him, had promised him more money than he’d ever see in his lifetime and yet Zero didn’t have the courage to take what was blatantly on offer.  Himself.  Why?  When any other woman would have leapt at the chance...

But that’s just it.  Zero wasn’t a woman.  But Yuuki definitely was.  Kaname’s eyes narrowed as he deliberately stared at the tightly crossed hands ahead of him on the image.  Zero shouldn’t be hiding his body from him, shouldn’t be trotting out lies and hiding the truth under so much bullshit.  Those tightly laced arms were almost symbolic of all the obstacles he needed to get rid of to get to what he wanted, what they both wanted.  And Kaname was adept at demolishing obstacles.  One at a time.

“Nothing.  I didn’t want to see you go so soon, that’s all.”

“...Okay.  I’ll see you when you get home...”

“You’ll be taking your medication in about another hour, right?”

“...Yes...?”

“Just checking.  I don’t want you to take any chances.”

“I know, Kaname!  God, you’re worst than...”

“And I want you to go over the Depp analysis for the North East sector.  All the variables.  There is an error in it somewhere but I can’t find it...”

“You can’t find it...?”  What chance did _he_ have?

“I’m only human despite what the press says about me, Zero.” Kaname smiled again, the charm practically oozing onto the Polyplast flooring of cubicle.  Zero looked away to save himself but not before his heart rate sped up.

“Okay.”

“And I want to see the results as soon as I arrive.  I have to mail them to the President first thing.”

“I’d said ‘okay’!  Goodbye!”

“Goodbye, Zero.”

Kaname said this last the no-one in particular, Zero having hung up on him.  He lifted his i-assistant and accessed the home computer-assistant, deftly changing many of his calculations after saving the original on his personal drive and doctoring the time stamp.  There.  The trap was set.

 

**“THAT WAS WONDERFUL!  I HAVEN’T HAD SO MUCH FUN IN AGES!”**

“I am glad you enjoyed yourself.  I really appreciate you coming with me...”

“What?  It should be me thanking you!  I can’t believe who I met tonight!  President Ichijo gave me his personal messenger address!  And that’s not the only one!  Why didn’t Zero come?  He’d always had a thing for Bianca Jolie and she was there...!”

“That’s my fault.  I needed something done urgently.”

“In that case, I’d better not mention that then.”

Yuuki laughed at this and settled to look out at the barren landscape still drenched in the red light of the setting sun.  She couldn’t believe the day she was having.  It’s a good thing she’d taken pictures or the girls would think she was crazy...

“Are you and Zero good friends?”

Yuuki looked back towards the handsome man with the equally suave demeanour.  For once he wasn’t nose deep in his i-assistant.  Yuuki knew of his drive and workaholic tendencies from all the articles she’d read about him in Vogue and People.  And she knew he had split from his wife.  Yuuki watched as that dark, bewitching gaze turned to her as he awaited her answer.  That’s it.  It wasn’t just small talk.

“We’ve know each other since we were children.  We were in the same class up until we started university and lived three houses apart.  He can be very moody but don’t let that fool you.  It’s because he’s really soft-hearted.  Sensitive.  Sometimes I wish...

“What?”  Kaname prompted, again looking over at her, meeting her eyes with ease.

“Nothing.  That’s... in the past...”

“I guess what I’m trying to ask is...”

“No.  We’re not involved,” Yuuki replied softly, turning toward the adorably hesitant man.  “Not anymore.  We’ve been over for years now.  My fault, really.”

“Why?  What do you look for in a man?” Kaname again met her eyes and held them.  There was nothing around them for miles, the stretch of beaten track going on without interruption for some time.  Kaname could afford to hit all the behavioural cues without fear of accident.  He eventually overcame his unease and subjected the tantalisingly close feminine knee to a warm, encouraging caress, his fingers just a little too high on her inner thigh....

Yuuki had giggled coyly at the question but was brought up by the feel of soft, warm fingers gently tracing her left knee and...  She swallowed audibly as she decided to take his question seriously.  Kaname Kuran was... interested in _her?_  She could hardly breathe.  _Don’t blow it.  Don’t say anything stupid!_

“I certainly like a man that knows what he wants and goes after it.”

Yuuki parted her legs a little and the hand, thankfully, took the subtle hint...

“And Zero wasn’t... that man?”

“No.  He was entirely too laid back.  He was more into me and his family than ambition.  He would enjoy being a cog in the machinery his entire life.  Drove me crazy.  Do you see today?  Left to Zero that would never have happened...”

“It’s strange you should say that.  If it wasn’t for Zero, you wouldn’t be here.”

“True.  It is strange.  Don’t get me wrong.  He is wonderful.  Kind. Thoughtful. Considerate.  I do miss him sometimes...”

“Sometimes?”

“... But then... I remember how his love just... smothered me.  I want more.  I just want more...”

“Like today.”

“...Yes...” Yuuki’s voice trembled as fingers traced meandering designs just below her underwear.  She wanted to know how they would feel inside her.  She wondered what it would take to make that happen...

“Then why did you want to see him?  There must be something...”

“No!  Not really.  I wanted to make amends and perhaps see if there was anything left.  But I know he’d never trust me again.  Or love me the same.  It... would be...”

“Yes?”

Kaname stopped what he was doing through her panties so she would answer. Yuuki placed a hand on his arm indicating her protest of this inaction.  Kaname leaned towards her, his lips parting...

"It would be a mistake.  I... don't love him.  But...  I wanted someone to love me.  I missed being taken care of and Zero was the best at doing that."

“I don’t think that would be fair to him.  He deserves much better than that.” _Than you..._

“Uh... yes...”

Yuuki, to say the least was damned disappointed.  The fingers withdrew and were placed without further compunction onto the suited knee beside hers.  Yuuki sat up wondering what she had done wrong.  _Stupid!_

“Kaname.  What...?”

“Zero has become a... very good friend of mine.  I don’t feel comfortable doing this just before you see him.  If it’s okay with him, we’ll arrange an opportunity to get better acquainted later.  Alright?”  Kaname met her eyes again, smiling cheerfully and Yuuki could only nod.  _Don’t blow it!_

“Okay.”  Yuuki sat up and smiled back, her head rolling against the headrest to look outside of the vehicle at the glowing landscape.  It was only the beginning.  The _beginning_.  Yuuki fought her own grin unsuccessfully.  She felt happier than she ever been in her life.  That nagging expectation somewhere at the back of her mind seemed to ease.  It was going to happen.  Something other than just surviving her humdrum life.  She was going to be finally somebody.  Sensational.  Remembered!  ...Immortal.

 

**“COME IN.  DON’T BE SHY.”**

Yuuki stepped over the threshold but one could see she wasn’t enthusiastic about it.  The apartment smelled of stale milk and sausage but if Kaname were to hazard a guess, he'd say Yuuki was put off by the large man with the resonating snore fast asleep on the recliner.  Kaname looked up at the screen in satisfaction.  The complicated Depp analysis was half-way through but Zero hadn’t stood a chance with the medication he was on.  He was out cold in the middle of the work area in plain sight of any women that may have had any lingering designs on him...

“Zero?!”

She couldn’t believe it.  He was huge!  He was lying there with a half eaten sandwich on a trolley next to him, crumbs stuck to his lips and wet spots on his chest...  Oh God!  They were right!  He looked terrible!

“What happened to him?”  Yuuki was whispering.  She probably didn’t want to wake him up.  Kaname smiled.  She didn’t see what was right in front of her.  She was too self absorbed for that.  Good.

“Why don’t you ask him?  He wanted to tell you himself.  Zero?”  Kaname called loudly, walking up to stand right next to the “slumbering slob”, running his fingers through his immaculate hair as he leaned over.  He knew the contrast between the two potential male prizes wouldn’t be lost on her.  On cue, Yuuki ran over and grabbed his arm.

“No!  Don’t wake him.  Don’t bother.  It isn’t necessary...”

“Are you sure?  He may want to see you...”

“You said you hadn’t told him I was here.  Then don’t.  As I’d said:  I was just being selfish.  I see that now...”

“Yuuki...”

“‘Let gone bys be bygones’, as they say.  It’s over.”

“Okay.  I believe you.  I’m sorry that I can’t offer you a place to stay tonight,” Kaname said walking back to the door, not sounding a bit sorry.  “I’ll call ahead and have them hold the six o’clock shuttle for you.”

“Thanks.”

Kaname pressed his hand to the panel and waited for her to come to the door.  He wanted her gone.  It was if her presence offended him in and of itself.  But he was in control of his emotions.  He showed his body to advantage as the girl eventually turned away from Zero and walked toward the door.

“It’s for the best...”

“Of course.”

“I’ll see you...?”

“Yes.  You will.  I promise,”  Kaname intoned deeply.  Yuuki smiled and stepped outside.

“When can I...?”

Kaname closed the door and walked over to where Zero was snoring noisily but his face showed the complete opposite reaction to Yuuki’s.  His adoration was evident as he leaned in to “hug” Zero’s stomach pressing four kisses in greeting before dropping to his knees beside him.  He was all his.  There was no doubt.  None.

Zero groaned and twisted.  In his dream he was nursing a baby. A disturbing baby.  One that massaged his breast firmly as it suckled, one that caused some disturbing sensations to course through him.  He was hard, he was sure.  His hips moved as the baby drank greedily, his nipples aching sweetly...  He was terribly disappointed when the baby stopped but then the sensations increased in his lower regions.  He gasped as his length throbbed and the baby disappeared, coming awake to a see a dark figure kneeling next to him, his head bobbing vigorously against...

“Ah!  What?”

The figure pulled away to shoot a dark, dilated, hungry glance at him as he lapped at the engorged head of his – was that his?  Damn! – before resuming his previous position.  Zero groaned loudly as he was sunk back into that hot mouth, his hands pushing at unyielding clothed shoulders, as his body began to thrum with the heady, expansive, devastating sensation of...

“I’m coming!  I’m... Kaname!"

Zero's body heaved, his legs tensing, his stomach clenching, his behind almost shooting off the cushion as he cried out, the consequence being that his hard member was forced a little more into the brunette's mouth.  But Kaname only groaned and drank his fill.  He'd winced a little at the taste, but he would get used to it.  That and anything else Zero had to offer...

“...Kaname!  What... are... you...?” Zero managed between breaths.

“Why don’t you take some time and catch your breath?  I’m not going anywhere.”

“Kaname!” Zero bellowed, pushing to get up but Kaname got off his knees and sat on the arm rest, applying a little pressure to Zero’s shoulders, which was all that was needed to beach the younger man in this state.  He leaned in, meeting his eyes.

“Just relax.  I’ll get you what you need.  Are you hungry?”

“No!  I’m livid!  What the hell are you doing?!  Haven’t we talked about this...?”

“You talked about this.  But you can’t just decide on your own.  I have feelings too.”

“I told you!  I’m in love with...”

“Good luck to her then.  May the best man or woman win...”

“Win!?  Are you insane?”

“I thought we had established that I was a little crazy.  But that’s not what going on here and you know it.  I love you and I intend to win you over, no matter how long it takes.  With love, gifts, good food, numerous bouts of undivided attention and sex.  Not necessarily in that order...”

“No!  I refused to be wooed like some...”

“Woman?  Damn, Zero.  It is clear you are not a woman.  You don’t have to go on with the labels all the time.  I don’t care about that.  I care about you.  You.  Whatever you want.  And when you decide who or what that is I will be here.  No pressure.  Okay...  maybe just a little...”

“You’re nuts.  Absolutely...”

“Zero.  You are repeating yourself, just so you know.  I think that translates to your being speechless.  I feel honoured.”

“Get off of me!”  Zero lifted his arms and pushed against Kaname in earnest, but Kaname grabbed them.

“Don’t agitate yourself.  You’ll go into labour.  And out here, they’ll all have to come out the natural way.”

“You... bastard...” Zero’s chest heaved but he forced himself to relax and control his temper.  Just the thought of _that_ happening normally quietened Zero’s savage spirit.  Kaname’s eyes lowered to Zero’s bare chest but only to the droplets that still leaked from the nipple he’d been suckling.  He dipped his head quickly to clean it up before Zero could react.  It was sweet.  He liked it.

“I should get you some breast pads but I’m not sure I want to.”

“What?”

“You’re starting to produce pre-milk.  Hadn’t you noticed?”

Kaname lifted Zero’s damp pyjama top and let him have a look.  Zero grabbed it and swore, staring in disbelief at the dark circles on the silk.  What else?  What else could go wrong?

“You’ll have to wear a bra...”

Zero's mouth dropped open in sheer horror.

“Over.  My dead. Body.”

“Good.  I’m glad we agree.”  Kaname’s head dipped again, his mouth open...

“No!  I mean... That’s disgusting.  Don’t...”

“If it’s good enough for my children, it’s good enough for me.  Don’t worry. I’ll let you return the favour.”

“Let me up, you madman...!”

“Undress me first.”

“What?”

“Take off my clothes.  I know you want to.”

Zero frowned in puzzlement, looking up at Kaname.  He was serious but more than that.  Desperate...

“No!  Now get...!”

The dark head descended to his lips, kissing him deeply, passionately.  Kaname’s breaths fanned his face.  He was frustrated, hungry, aching...

“Kaname...!”

“You've used so much energy fighting what you obviously want.  Like today.  Do you think I’ve forgotten what you said, how you looked at me?  If you’d let yourself, you would have undressed me then and there.  If you’d have let yourself, I would have let you do it...”

“Please, Kaname.  I can’t...”

“You can.  You can let me love you.  You can.  You... can...”

Kaname pressed in for another kiss, then moaned as Zero’s tongue finally ventured out to taste him.  He took it and drew it hard into his mouth, sucking as he shoved his jacket off.  He briefly tugged at his tie before hands pushed his away, pulling at the knot.  Kaname trembled and not only because Zero fingers, for the merest second, brushed his skin.  It was... what it meant...

Kaname groaned aloud as Zero’s hands eventually slid in to touch his skin, the muscles of his stomach clenching visibly as the youth's lips broke the kiss and nuzzled then sucked his at throat.  He joy seemed to envelope him more than the hot sensations of his arousal.  Zero...  Finally...

“This chair.... I can’t reach...”

“What?”

“We need to go into the bedroom.”

Zero blushed as he said this.  He was embarrassed by his simple desires.  Kaname stood and pulled Zero to his feet.  Honestly...

“Come on.  This way,” Kaname ordered, pulling Zero toward his own bedroom, his face already set with the determination to give Zero something to be really embarrassed about.

 

 **ZERO AWOKE AND STARED AROUND HIM** , immediately noticing that the surroundings were unfamiliar.  The sheets were silky and dark, the glow of the sun illuminating the spacious but Spartan decor.  Zero smiled though and stretched, colouring as he remembered what it meant.  Remembering what Kaname can do given half a chance to a narrow, damp, messy, misshapen but fully functional...

“What time is it?”

_“Ten-forty-five, Sir.”_

“Ten...?”

What the hell?  The Depp calculations!  He’d fallen asleep and Kaname needed them.  He also needed to go to the bathroom.  Zero threw his legs over the side of the bed and searched for his clothes.  There were none.  Odd as he’d distinctly remembered wearing some in here.  He grabbed the bed cover and wrapped it over his shoulders.

“Which way is out?”  The doors all looked the same.

_“This way, Sir.”_

The door trundled open and Zero peeped out, a little shy and unsure what was happening outside.  If his boss...  Kaname.  Remember: Kaname – he hated his calling him “Mr. Kuran” (one aspect of last night involved Kaname clearly underscoring this by an exquisite torture involving fingers on those spots on his erection and inside his vagina that had him in seizures.  Kaname was quick to embrace just how unique Zero was even if to manipulate him...).  If _Kaname_ was on a visi-conference, his coming out like this would look very odd indeed.

“Hold on a second.  Something just came up.”

_“Sure, Mr. Kuran.”_

Zero tugged his blanket tightly around him as Kaname stood and walked toward him.  He was expressionless.  Zero half expected another lecture on punctuality...  before the kiss.  The kiss that shook his world to the foundations.  Just like that.  Like... he owned him. 

“Good morning,” Kaname greeted on coming up for air, but still crushing Zero’s nude body into the door jam with his own, the blanket... somewhere...  “How are you all today?"

“Good... morning.  Fine.” Another thing Zero had to remember.  For some reason Kaname hated when he hid his body.  But did he really expect him to walk around here naked...? “Where are my clothes?”

“Laundry.  I’ll get you some.”

“Thanks.”

“Don't mention it."

Kaname kissed him again and reluctantly separated to walk across the work area to Zero’s room.  He soon returned with another pair of Zero's pyjamas.

“I’ll need to shower first...”  Zero informed, looking to see if it was safe to cross the room.  Kaname moved to block him with his body.  That body...  Zero instantly got distracted...

“Use mine.”

“I... uh...”

“That door there.  When you come out I’ll get breakfast for you.”

“Kaname," Zero finally remembered why he'd rushed out here in the first place.  “The Depp calculations.  I forgot...”

“Good.”

“I mean, they are not finished...”

“Don’t worry about it.  Don’t worry about anything except what’s happening inside of you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kaname kissed him yet again before handing him his clothes and pushed Zero back inside his room.  He watched the other walk away with some appreciation.  Everything he owned was in there.  Everything...

“Zero!   I almost forgot.  The inspection was a success by all accounts.  We’re going back to the city tomorrow.  For good.”

 

_to be continued._

 

 


	15. Labels

Labels

 

 **KANAME CAME** awake as was his custom at around five in the morning. It had been part of his regular routine even before Zero where he rose early to work out, perform several katas – with or without weapons – before showering, getting dressed and heading to the office around six with a breakfast of volcanically hot icelandic coffee with a hint of milk and high-protein caviar-flavoured meal bar in hand. He was there going over work and correspondence before anyone else and usually left work after everyone else. His days were long but rewarding. He lived for his work, for being the best, doing the most, making sure GE functioned efficiently and exceptionally, became indispensible in everyone's lives.

 

But now...

 

Kaname pressed his nosed to the back of Zero's neck and inhaled, squeezing him, his body, gently to him, savouring his scent. He then rubbed his nose from side to side.

 

“Zero. Darling. Wake up.”

 

A loud, low groan was heard and “darling” pulled away to bury his head under the pillow.

 

“No. And don't call me...”

 

“Come on. We have to get up. We talked about this...”

 

“That was before I had four hours sleep. And you know why.”

 

Kaname grinned as he closed the distance between them, spooning Zero again. His biggest triumph was being able to spend every night curled up into him, holding his stomach. He went to sleep with everyone he loved in his arms. Kaname's dimples surfaced as he leaned in to kiss Zero's neck again.

 

“I can't help it. You are soooo sweet...”

 

“Damn, you are such a perv. I'll go by myself when I wake up. You can go along to your precious meeting...”

 

“No. I want to be there. Now get up or...”

 

Kaname slid his fingers confidently, possessively between Zero's legs from behind and began to slide various digits home all while moaning appreciatively...

 

Zero pulled away quickly and sat up, his reddened, sleepy, silver-grey eyes shooting his one-track-minded former boss a frosty look as he groggily made his way to the edge of the bed. Kaname got onto his knees and pressed in behind him, trying to “help” him to his feet and got an elbow planted in his groin for his trouble. He only just saved any future reproductive efforts by doubling over protectively.

 

Zero really was exhausted but he supposed he could sleep later – as he had agreed to do – so Kaname could be there at the checkup. He never missed one. Not one. Not even when he was scarily busy as he had been since they had returned to the main GE building two weeks ago, Zero smuggled inside the building by a private entrance as if he were a flamboyant, tranny prostitute in the wee hours of the morning. The CEO had to catch up on all the other projects, still fly down to oversee various aspects of the Amazon reconstruction, do his various reports for the WGB, take reports from the department heads inside GE and glad-hand members of the WGB where appropriate. He wanted, he'd said, to get the more urgent matters out of the way so he could be there near Zero's time. Therefore, he'd try to rearrange his schedule where necessary or Zero and the doctor would have to fit themselves into his. Like today. The appointment was at six a.m. as Kaname had to fly over to Paris at 7 a.m. to sort out a serious hitch in the approval for the construction of a business centre. You wouldn't tell to look at him though. He scooted over to the edge of the bed and watched intently as Zero waddled carefully over to the bathroom. He'd gained another seven pounds since they'd returned as Zero was relegated to sleeping or eating during his myriad sedentary activities he did to amuse himself. Kaname wasn't surprised and was more than a little amused when the charges to his online entertainment account went up by 1,000 per cent. It was certainly preferable to being called in the middle of a conference – and Kaname took all of Zero's calls for obvious reasons - to be begged for work.

 

“Any more contractions?”

 

“No.” Zero replied succintly as he entered the room, grateful for the brief respite from Kaname's anxious questions. It wasn't to be, however. Kaname rose and followed him inside.

 

“Good. Today will be two weeks. Seven more to go...”

 

“Or three.” Zero gave up giving Kaname a pointed “Get out!” look, sighed and backed onto the toilet, unable to wait any longer.

 

“Yes...”

 

“They can survive at that point, Kaname. The doctor said it's not the end of the world if they come early. He's checked out the equipment you have and has already sourced the required materials. He says the advances made for the care of premature births have advanced significantly because of the crisis we're in. Shortening gestation is considered efficient use of resources by the WGB.” Not to mention he'd be free. God! He'll always appreciate having his own body to himself after this. And he'll take better care of it. No drinking, no more shirking workouts, healthier eating...

 

“But it is not ideal. They could have learning difficulties or mental defects, higher risks for health complications...”

 

“Heaven forbid they're not as brilliant as you...”

 

“I didn't mean it that way, Zero! I want the very best for them...!”

 

“I know, I know, Kaname. I'm just tired that's all. I want this over with. I remember when I didn't have cankles and could roll over onto my stomach. It was a good time.”

 

Kaname turned away and began to undress, his silence speaking volumes. Zero watched as he went into the shower cubicle without another word and knew the brunette thought he was being selfish. To him the children were worth any such minor discomfort but that was easy for him to think. He wasn't the one unable to find a decent, comfortable position in which to sleep. He wasn't the one with the aches and pains and knowledge that his body would be changed forever. How was he going to explain a C-section scar and stretch marks to a girlfriend? Lipo?

 

Yes, Zero wanted it to be over. He still thought of his relationship with Kaname as an accident of hormones. Sure, he was with Kaname now... But this wasn't real was it? Sure, he felt attraction, love. But it was the pregnancy, right? He'd never so much as checked out another man before this. It had to be an illness, a transient condition from which he would wake as soon as these kids were birthed. Also, he had to admit: the thought of being Kaname's significant other scared him. He didn't even like to be touched by him in the examination room with the doctor – and he was sure the doctor had no illusions even without the hickies Kaname left on his inner thighs and... elsewhere... How was he going to publicly be with Kaname? He had a certain reputation. His love of women was included in this reputation. The way they would see him now. How it would all change...

 

Zero listened as Kaname showered, his thoughts running to the water on his smooth skin, running over his delectable body and found himself salivating. He closed his eyes and sighed. There was no doubt he was attracted to him. Attracted to this man. And... hated himself for it. It was another failure. Like getting knocked up. Even more so when he realised Kaname had no such qualms. But that was because... he didn't even see him... as a man...

 

 

“ **OH FUCK!! KANAME!”**

 

“No. I won't stop. Not until you come…”

 

“Oh shit… Oh shit!!” Zero squeezed his eyes closed as his internal muscles clenched and contracted around that hot, hard muscle. Zero couldn't believe anything could feel this good. He reached down to offer himself further relief but Kaname grabbed his hands and clasped them over his head. Zero cried out in protest.

 

“Uh-uh. No cheating. That's it,” Kaname groaned into Zero's hair as he rocked his hips slowly, riding the eventual tide that engulfed the youth beneath him. He longed to sink himself in deeper but was afraid of the possible consequence. But it was killing him. Zero's throbbing heat called to him. He released his hold of Zero's hands and settled to rub his body soothingly.

 

“There. Now we can begin.”

 

“No! Kaname! I'm exhausted!”

 

“I'm not. Feel that? I'm just getting started...”

 

Zero's breath caught as he felt Kaname begin to move again inside of him. His body clenched involuntarily, desperately around the hard flesh as it began its hot merciless friction against his hypersensitive, swollen walls. That spot began to ache again then that exquisite feeling began to wash over him...

 

“Kaname...”

 

Zero's body again clenched hard, fast, exuberantly onto that devastating limb. His legs curled around his partner's, trying to hold him so he wouldn't stop. Then he heard the chuckle in his ear: a joyous self-satisfied laugh.

 

“Bastard...”

 

“I love when you say my name like that. Damn, you're so wet, so _tight_...”

 

No! He won't be spoken too like that! “I've had enough. Let me go!”

 

Kaname growled low in his throat which did things to Zero that became obvious to anyone with a turgid member buried inside of him. Kaname pushed against the sweet pulsing pressure and it was Zero's turn to groan mindlessly.

 

“What do you want me to do? Tell me.”

 

“Stop teasing me and...”

 

“What?” Kaname pretended to be innocent, all while withdrawing a good few inches. Zero tried to follow it. He laughed again, enjoying the manipulative play, how much Zero wanted him. “Oh no. I only take requests. From those lips. Those sweet... lips...”

 

Kaname withdrew altogether and bent over Zero to kiss him properly, his tongue eventually going in to imitate something Zero desperately needed...

 

“No! Don't! Zero!”

 

It was no use. He was too heavy. Too strong. Too hot, tight. Deep...

 

Kaname legs twitched restlessly on the bed as all of Zero's considerable weight descended onto his middle. He wasn't supposed to take him this deeply. It could be dangerous! But Kaname was helpless in the face of Zero's raw need. His own need. The younger man liked when he was pressed hard, deep inside him. Like this. Pushing against that spot, his aching womb, the sweet massage making him crazy...

 

“Kaname. Kaname...” Zero moaned breathlessly, his lover's name a mantra as he moved faster, his hips rotating energetically. Kaname's hands were propped uselessly against Zero's stomach, trying to dissuade over two hundred and sixty pounds of male to get off of him and be careful but instead he lost himself totally, driven nuts from his weight on his body, the sound of his name in that tone, from the sight of the heavily pregnant Zero over him, ecstatic. Blissfull...

 

Kaname's head flew back, his long throat exposed as he finally capitulated, his body unable to handle very much of the above. He gasped, drawing breath to his overtaxed frame, but Zero's weight made it slightly difficult. But he loved it. Loved... Zero... _Oh no_ , Kaname thought as he opened his eyes to Zero's quickly averted gaze, the flushed cheeks and working jaw muscle, the unmistakable stamp of disappointment...

 

Zero cried out as he was upended, landing on his back. His legs were immediately spread and Kaname's determined visage disappeared behind the huge, fleshy mound of his stomach. Then Zero arched wildly and tried to reach, to push him away. He breath caught for several seconds at... what was he doing...!?

 

“Kaname! Oh god...! I can't... Aaaaah!”

 

Zero came hard, his flesh contracting over the strategically placed fingers, as the tongue continued to destroy every shred of sanity he had. The hot, wet muscle beat his tip before pulling it into a wanton mouth. Zero cried out as this was combined with the ungentle massage of his inner walls. Soon...

 

“Kaname!! _KANAME!!!_ ”

 

 

 **ZERO COLLAPSED** face first into the surrounding pillows, having rolled over and pulled up onto his knees, his stomach favoured as he tore himself away from the source of his torment. _Damn! He won’t stop unless I make him! He won’t...!_

 

“I can’t... Kaname...! Please...”

 

Zero shoved a hand behind him and pushed at the head that still followed him. He was beginning to cramp. One after the other like that... it had been fun at first but now...

 

Zero sighed as he felt the warm weight mercifully retreat, felt as he collapsed onto the bed, partially onto Zero's own left foot as he had been between his legs, and heard the expansive inhalations of breath as he came to terms with Zero’s rejection and directed his mind at anything beside that seductive, moist, sensitive heat. The one he could still taste on his tongue...

 

Zero had eventually settled onto his side as Kaname had lain there in some grief, his own breathing calming somewhat. Soon warm arms enveloped him and hot lips, where the scent of himself still... lingered, were pressed to his cheek. Kaname didn’t try to kiss him on the lips. Zero wasn’t that comfortable as yet with himself...

 

“Are... you alright?”

 

“Yes... I couldn’t... take anymore…”

 

“I understand. I’m sorry. I can get carried away... Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

 

Zero seriously hadn’t any intention of moving. His limbs were still shaking. He would have fallen over if he had stood. He could only watch as Kaname crossed the room to the lavatory, as the light came on, then could vaguely follow the sounds of Kaname washing up. When it became too hard he gave up and closed his eyes, letting sleep claim him. He too needed a shower, especially as the thought of Kaname’s own body’s capitulation drying on his skin was still more that he could take. But at this moment you could try to cut his head off with a butter knife and Zero wouldn’t stop you. He didn’t know how he did it, but Kaname knew how to really wear him out...

 

Zero groaned loudly. God, that felt good...

 

“Roll onto your back. That’s it.”

 

Zero lay on his back as his lover rubbed him down gently with a large, very warm, damp towel, the subtle fragrance of sandalwood soothing him further as he worked his way from his neck, over his sore, swollen chest, over his stomach, between the small gadgets adhered to his stomach to between his legs, Zero sighing as the cloth rubbed various tender places carefully. His eyes closing as he was lulled again... until he again felt lips touch him.... there...

 

“You bastard! Stop that!” Zero growled, slapping the opportunistic dark head between his legs recklessly, the damp hair dishevelling at the force. “It’s official. I don't think you are into breasts or ass, are you?”

 

“On the contrary,” Kaname replied tossing the towel onto to floor, having finished his clean up. He moved to lie down next to Zero, rolling him a little to spoon him possessively, his right hand cupping his large stomach, his chin settling on Zero’s shoulder. He had noticed their heart monitors seemed to almost synchronise whenever he made love to Zero, the babies seeming to quiet down. It’s as if they liked when their “mother” was satisfied. Kaname thought he should oblige whenever he could. “I love your breasts. They excite me very much.”

 

Zero scoffed, rolling back to look Kaname in the eye, ignoring the moan of protest as Kaname lost the warm place he’d found for his bits. “I'm serious. Your can’t possibly deny it. You are one of _those_ men. I can’t believe it. Usually when we’d have the shower-room conversation about how much we go down on our significant others, there’d be one guy that just freaks us out with his sheer fervour. Me, I love when she goes crazy and tries to break off the equipment but that's about it. As fate would have it I now have a perspective I never thought I’d gain. No wonder he always had a date...”

 

Kaname had stopped his proprietory roaming of Zero's body. He eventually responded.

 

“I’m sorry. I told you I just got carried away...”

 

Zero inhaled for a suitable retort which involved the swear word for cattle manure but found Kaname was disentangling himself from him and getting up out of the bed. Without another word he grabbed a robe and exited the bedroom leaving Zero at a loss. What had he said? What had he done? He wasn’t sensitive about it surely?

 

Kaname was rummaging around in the refrigerator when Zero eventually caught up with him.

 

“Kaname…”

 

“Are you hungry? I’m starved. Wasn’t there more of the leftover rice noodles from dinner…?”

 

“I ate that while you were at the meeting…”

 

“Oh. Fine. I’ll make us something then…”

 

“Kaname. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just talking about our favourite subject. You know: pussy.” By “our” Zero meant “men”. He smiled crookedly, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Kaname ignored him.

 

“I understand. How about scalloped potatoes and ‘chicken’? There is just enough of the food base left to make it. Remind me to order some to-day, alright?” Kaname corrected himself as he looked at the clock.

 

Zero’s smile settled into a grim mask as he watched Kaname try to dazzle him with his own. He seemed agitated as only Kaname could. Oh, he was outwardly calm. Kaname was too good at hiding his emotions to even have tense shoulders. It was the way he was being treated, the quiet change of topic, the naked charm. Zero was getting to know when he was being manipulated. And when Kaname was running away from a topic.

 

“Cut the crap. Obviously something I did bothered you. One minute I can't get your tongue out of my ass the next you are avoiding me...”

 

“I don't want to talk about it, Zero. That's obvious, isn't it?”

 

“What? Pussy? Or the fact that you worship it? Are you ashamed of...?”

 

“Of course not! I like yours. I don't mind telling you that. It's just...”

 

Kaname trailed off. He looked uncomfortable, frustrated. He knew it was a mine field. Zero's brows cleared when he guessed.

 

“You don't like when _I_ talk about how much I like it.”

 

Kaname suddenly found the Auto-Cook fascinating as he refused to answer. Zero growled under his breath and waddled around the counter to look Kaname in the eye.

 

“You don't like to be reminded that I'm a man!”

 

Kaname remained silent. He stood there merely looking at Zero. Zero wanted to punch him.

 

“Are you insane?!”

 

“You keep asking me that...”

 

“How could you just ignore the fact that I have a dick and a set of balls?  Do you pretend they're an enormous clit?!”

 

“They're a part of you. Who you are. I know I said we wouldn't label anything but you have to admit that you aren't a man! Men don't have children! Men don't have birth canals!”

 

“I know that! If I'd had a choice...!”

 

“Oh forget it. I'm bored with the constant reminder of how all of this is my fault...”

 

“It is!  But I'm not rehashing anything. All I'm saying is that you knew me before this. You saw what I have always been. What I identify with...!  At that bizarre interview you summoned me to, did anything about me strike you as effeminate!?”

 

“That has changed. You're going to be a mother, no matter what you tell yourself and that's what made me love you. That's what I fell for. That part of you. I can't help that. I can't!”

 

Zero turned away and walked towards the dining table and sat looking out the window at the early morning sky. Kaname was in love with an honourary female. A woman. A luxury he himself didn't have.  If he was honest, if he admitted the truth he'd concede that he was in love with Kaname the man: the kind, caring, intelligent, passionate soul was also paired with his devastating male body, scent and responsive...  Zero had even found that he was disappointed when he didn't use it, couldn't feel it inside of him, moving, robbing him of his sanity, hating and yet adoring feeling conquered, possessed.  By _him_.  He was lost in whatever spell this was that was making him lose the sense of himself he'd always had.  And Kaname was definitely part of the problem.  He was deluding himself that this could work.

 

“When I give birth it will all change. You know that...”

 

“You'll still be what you are now...”

 

“Not if I remove it.”

 

Kaname left his vigil of the Auto-Cook and approached where Zero sat.  He knelt beside him, reaching out to stroke his leg, his back soothingly.

 

“No. But I am hoping you would change your mind.  That I could help you change your mind...”

 

“And do what?  Stay your woman?  Would you do the same thing for me?”

 

Zero leaned toward Kaname, his beautiful eyes sparkling with thinly disguised fury as his glance lowered suggestively.  Kaname's mouth became a thin line of ire.  Was he suggesting...?

 

“Zero! Dammit! It's not the same thing!”

 

“Oh forget it. I'm tired. I'm going to bed.”

 

Zero rose to go back to the bedroom then changed direction. He didn't want to sleep next to him tonight. He headed for “his” bedroom – basically where he'd stored his belongings. Kaname became panicked. He had to fix this...

 

“Aren't you hungry? You must be...”

 

Geez!  Was he going to keep trying that trick?

 

“No! I...” But Zero paused and glanced at the Auto-Cook, licking his lips. He looked away again. Disappointed. Kaname knew what that meant.

 

“You are. But you want something else. Tell me. What is it?”

 

“Nothing! Just leave me alone...!”

 

Zero marched for the door and was cut off gracefully.

 

“It's a craving. I can tell.” Kaname smiled charmingly, glad of the opportunity to appease him. He touched his forehead to Zero's. “Go ahead spill it. Whatever you want, I will get it for you. Trust me.”

 

Zero hesitated. Speaking about it made it worst. He licked his lips again. Kaname watched this with some satisfaction.  He was weakening...

 

“You can't get them now. It's too late...”

 

“Try me,” Kaname replied his gaze hardening in determination.

 

“Do you remember... the dish you'd first given me when I came here? The one with the fish...?”

 

Kaname abruptly left Zero and walked to his room. Zero followed uncertainly, thinking after that discussion Kaname would be cruel enough to walk away from him in that state of deprivation but he was pulling on some clothes while making a call.

 

“I'll be right back, my love. Get into bed until I return...”

 

“Kaname you really don't have to...”  Zero offered but oh, did it almost hurt to say it.  Kaname laughed.

 

“I know. Now get into bed.” Kaname backed Zero up against his own and gently pushed him onto it. He lifted his legs and rearranged the pillows behind his head. Then there was the kiss... Zero found it hard to stay angry at him when he was like this.  He knew this well.  Kaname pulled away from Zero's kiss, from his arms, reluctantly.

 

“I'll be back within an hour, darling.”

 

Zero was speechless as he saw Kaname rise to leave.  But recovered quickly.

 

“Don't call me...!” But Kaname was gone.

 

_Darling._

 

 

 **ZERO LIFTED HIS EYES** to where the cubicle opened and Kaname emerged. He'd come back with the rice and fish dish as he'd promised and they'd eaten it together until Zero had passed out with his hand in the bowl. It was things like that. Things like everything else about him made Zero love him... But he shouldn't. He shouldn't...

 

“Are you going to sit there all day?” Kaname demanded, the uber-lover from last night and this morning gone. Kaname, the CEO with a schedule was briskly rubbing himself down and looking at Zero in irritation.

 

“No. Coming...”

 

“Go ahead and shower. I'll get breakfast. Don't dawdle.”

 

“Yes, Sir,” Zero whispered, rising.

 

Kaname paused and looked back at him. He came back and planted a lingering kiss on the youth's lips.

 

“Could you all shower while I get breakfast ready? Please?” Dimples.

 

Yeah. Things like that...

 

 

 

 **ZERO KNEW HE WAS BEING SILLY** , lying there with his eyes closed on the screen, but he could never get used to seeing them like that. All those creatures inside his stomach... living there... One was bad enough. But four...?

 

“Zero! Look! Emily is turning towards the light! And she has hair!”

 

No, he would not be tricked. If he hurled onto the floor of the doctor's office then they would take him seriously. Women were socialised to have kids. To get used to writhing bundles of beings inside them. Zero only had from five months ago. By then he'd been conditioned to find this sort of thing disgusting.

 

“Oh good.” Zero tried for enthusiasm. “What colour?”

 

“Black! Like Stephen's!”

 

“Then that means they will all have black hair,” Dr. Rosenberg informed gently. “We have already confirmed that Zero is carrying two sets of identical twins.”

 

Black hair.  Like their father. The other one, Zero reminded himself stubbornly.

 

“That's a shame. I like Zero's hair.”

 

“It appears to be a recessive trait. The... other father,” Zero had programmed even the doctor, “probably has black hair.” Dr. Rosenberg straightened and started to gently remove the tiny camera from Zero's stomach - a recent acquisition - which he had used to examine one of each twin as he was pressed for time.  The others he would examine next week.  He didn't notice as Kaname shot a look of intense anger at Zero.  He wanted to be recognized as the “other” father but it was Zero's decision and he refused to make it.

 

“Everything appears to be going well. Their responses are good. Their vitals are strong. And no further contractions! I'd say we are on our way to a healthy delivery. Zero will have to keep taking the drugs for the foreseeable future, though.”

 

“That's fine. Right, Zero?”

 

Kaname was smiling at him. A too-wide smile.  Zero nodded obediently.

 

“Okay, then. Get dressed. I'll see you next week. Let me know what time. Alright?” The doctor daren't schedule that part in. It was up to Mr. Kuran.

 

“We'll let you know. Come on, Zero.”

 

“I'll be along shortly. I want to ask Dr. Rose something. In private.”

 

Kaname looked from Zero to the doctor in suspicion but he couldn't refuse.

 

“I'll be outside. Zero, my flight leaves...”

 

“I know. It'll be just a minute.”

 

Kaname turned and hardly hid his annoyance at being excluded as he left. The Dr. Rosenberg waited patiently until the door closed then turned off the room's communications.

 

“What is it?”

 

“A request. I could go into labour at any time...”

 

“Yes but extremely unlikely. You are stable...”

 

“I want you to take out everything when the time comes. Everything female. When I wake up I... want to be normal again.”

 

to be continued

 

 


	16. Zero's Dilemma

Zero's Dilemma

 

 

 **ZERO FINISHED** his request and looked up at Dr. Rosenberg where he stood in front of him. He was surprised to see a flash of irritation on the doctor's normally indulgence visage before it was quickly hidden. He turned away and went behind his desk to sit, leaving Zero on the examination table.

 

“Of course! Anything you say. Now you had better go before Clarice gets here...”

 

“I'm serious, doctor. I want to resume my life as a man when this is over...”

 

“There's nothing really stopping you from doing that, is there? Nothing has changed about you from birth until now.”

 

“I don't quite see it the same way, doctor. Until I was... attacked I didn't have to contend with pregnancies and...”

 

“Vaginas? Is that the word you are searching for?”

 

“You know what I mean. If anybody else found out about this...” Zero coloured painfully as he thought of all his friends and family as the doctor looked on, his lips thinning perceptibly. “I need to be normal. I need to get rid of this...”

 

“How does your boyfriend feel about this course of action?”

 

“I don't... I... Don't change the subject.” The hell he was discussing that...

 

“And what do you want? Normal for you? Normal for me? Normal for Jerry Springer?”

 

“Fuck it! You know what I mean...!”

 

“No I don't. You are thoroughly upset at being 'this way' when 'this way' _is_ normal for you! I could go on about breastfeeding and other functions your babies will rely on when they are delivered but you will say there is infant formula and you'll still hold them and care for them as necessary so I won't give you the satisfaction. But what I will point out, as you seem to have forgotten, is that your having a uterus, your having those hormones inside of you, have brought you this point in your life! Have they harmed you in any way? Had you noticed how 'abnormal' you had felt before this?”

 

“I was having cramps...”

 

“Those were minor. You came to me because you were worried it was cancer!”

 

“I would have found out eventually. I would have had it removed!”

 

“And then what? Do you know how your body would react to having something like that removed? It is a significant part of your anatomy! What is the point of removing a perfectly healthy part of you?!”

 

“So I can be a man! I can't deal with being like this! I don't have to!”

 

“What? Why? What's wrong with being like this? What's so great about being a man?! I can't believe after all these years of progress and advancement people still think like this! What would we do without women, huh? Where would we be? Extinct for one. You know what? Maybe we got what we deserved from this crisis. All this female loathing for centuries. All this fear of being feminine as if any one of us have spontaneously bounded into existence without being born. Do you know that one of the first things they taught us in anatomy was how men were deformed women? But still we see fit to denigrate and disrespect an integral factor in our lives as human beings! Now our women have ceased to be women. Now they are just like us. I hope all the male chauvinistic pricks like you are finally happy!”

 

Zero gave up. He looked around for the footstool to descend from the examination bed. He should have known he would have reacted like this. But he had said he would help if he had these kids. Now...

 

“Zero! Zero. I'm sorry. Look at me...”

 

“Leave me alone. I should have known. You are just like him. Maybe you knew...”

 

“What?”

 

Zero shook his head and decided to roll a little and slide off as the footstool was mysteriously absent.

 

“Wait, Zero. Here it is.”

 

The doctor stood to assist him and together they managed to get Zero to the ground. Zero nodded his goodbyes at him, avoiding his eyes, and headed for the door. The doctor sighed.

 

“Zero, please... Forgive me. I have been trying very hard to stay detached, to do what is best for you. To be _your_ doctor, to do as you wish... but it is also hard for me. I have known my own share of tragedy. I am old enough to remember the attacks and the fall out. The people with hanging flesh and melted fingers, the clouds of dangerous gas that wouldn't disperse for weeks. The cancers we are still battling that take the old and the young, the good and the bad. Finding my daughter and my grandchildren like that...”

 

“Dr. Rose. Forget it. I will deal with this later...”

 

“It comes back. It all comes back when I think of the future. Of you. I try to be detached. But it is hard not to see the possibilities when _you_ can do what so many people simply can't. Procreate. Healthily. Guarantee our existence beyond what they did to us.”

 

Dr. Rosenberg turned away and impatiently wiped his face. It was damp. He thought of the children inside of Zero and felt his happiness again. Maybe that was all he could do now. Maybe that is all he had a right to ask for. He would make sure they were born safely and maybe in them would lie the way. He couldn't force Zero to be anything else than himself. And _he_ wasn't interested in anything as pompous or grandiose as saving the future.

 

“I'll call you later today as usual. I hope you can forgive this silly old man his eccentricities. My faults include not knowing when to give up or forget. I will do as you say, of course. I was just venting a little, hoping you would accept who you are before it is too late. But whatever happens... you will get your wish.”

 

_Even if we don't get ours._

 

Zero turned and pulled the handle and exited the room leaving the doctor's hunched, melancholy figure in the centre. He refused to feel guilty at having upset such a good friend. He'd never asked for this. Had never asked for all their hopes and dreams to be invested in him. He wanted a normal life. He had a right to choose that. Didn't he?

 

 

**KANAME SURREPTITIOUSLY** removed the tiny listening device from his ear as Zero sauntered into the waiting area. He tried to look clueless and tardy even if his insides were quivering from... What? Rage? Fear? Both? He also felt an almost interminable sadness. He wanted to take Zero and shake him until his teeth fell out. He wanted to slap him into next week. He wanted... He wanted Zero to stay the way he was. Could he love him without his lady bits? He doubted it. He was in love with the whole of him. Would he be as soft to the touch? As tender? As loving? As responsive? Would he even smell the same? Who was he fooling? He wasn't interested in loving a  _man_  or he would have done that already. He loved the way Zero tasted. How wet he got when he was kissed. The noise he made when he took him. The way his erection would strain with hardness and weep as Kaname kissed and fondled his breasts, the way he would moan and grip him with his legs when Kaname massaged his arousal as they made love. He liked Zero's body as it was. He hated the idea of it changing, one way of the other, even without the threat of there being no more children.

 

“Are... you _finally_ ready?”

 

“Yes. Sorry. ...Girl stuff.” Zero muttered this with heavy irony. Kaname looked away, unable to keep the facade.

 

“Never mind. I'll take you up and then leave. I can still make the flight.”

 

“You don't have to do that. I know where it is.”

 

“I know.”

 

Still, Kaname walked ahead of him to the door and held it open for him. They were soon in the elevator speeding away to the top floor, Kaname entering his override code to stop it from being called by any one else. They stood there in silence for a while until Kaname reached out and took Zero's right hand, squeezing it as they both watched the numbers increase. Zero sighed in relief. He was feeling unnecessarily guilty.

 

“I was thinking that I wish you could come with me. Paris is very romantic, I am told.”

 

“I thought you were going to work.”

 

“You should know by now,” Kaname responded, smiling mischievously, “that I can multi-task quite well.”

 

Zero dipped his head a little and tried to pull away as a flush stole across his cheeks at the memory. The audicity of telling his secretary he was having desert while on a call with him, all as he did that, daring Zero to not make a sound.  Damn, Kaname was such a freak! How could one man be so obsessed with...?

 

Kaname tightened his hold on Zero's hand and pulled him into an embrace. He then initiated the kiss, one that soon had Zero forgetting himself and everything but the smooth, sweet flesh he had between his teeth. Kaname groaned as Zero's tongue slid repeatedly over his lips. He liked that Zero liked to lead. He liked that he knew... what to do with his tongue...

 

“Kana...” Zero tried to separate their lips but was successfully thwarted.

 

 _No! Don't stop!_ God, Zero could kiss...

 

“Kaname! We're here...!”

 

Zero pulled away and cupped Kaname's face. He smiled a little smugly at his handiwork, the heavy breathing, the dark gaze. Kaname was so easily floored by something so simple.

 

Kaname straightened, his head lifting from its tilted position where it had been in full supplication to Zero's steady, devastating rhythm, his fingers relaxing their grip on Zero's hair and... elsewhere... It had been a fair effort manoeuvring with the huge baby bump in the way but a solution was found eventually, as always. His hands shook a little as they migrated to Zero's forearms. He didn't want to stop touching him yet. Zero noticed. He leaned in and kissed his lips lightly.

 

“You have a flight to catch, Kaname. I'll be here when... you get back.”

 

“Do you promise?”

 

“Yes. I promise,” Zero replied, feeling silly playing this childish game but Kaname seemed to draw strength from it. He pulled away and fixed his suit, raked his dark hair away from his face - Zero's fingers had also wandered a little in their embrace – and opened the doors to the stalled elevator. Zero too pulled his elasticated waist-band higher onto his hips, tucking in the parts that had somehow come loose, and stepped out of the small cabin, going to the door of the apartment. He reached to open the door but looked back to where Kaname watched him from the elevator. He gave a salute of farewell, his lips twisting at the dilated, hungry look in Kaname's eyes, his shaken demeanour, and entered, heading straight for the kitchen. A second breakfast and then to bed, he had been thinking. It was a shock however when the door opened again.

 

“Wha... Kaname! What are you doing? Kaname...!”

 

Zero was cut off by the hungry tongue, the quick but curiously gentle way he was deposited onto the the couch. Before he could even react he was rolled to his knees and the tongue he'd been sucking on suddenly found its way between his legs. Zero groaned as he heard the Fast-Seal © on Kaname's pants come undone and he knew that it was over...

 

 

“ **DID YOU GET HOLD OF A CHARTER?”** Kaname demanded as soon as he had landed onto the seat of the vehicle.

 

 _Good morning to you too, Sir._ “Of course. They are getting the requisite clearance now as we speak...”

 

“Good. Let's go. I have to be there in forty minutes.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

Mr. Aidou, Kaname's long-suffering executive assistant, motioned for the driver to move off and settled back into his seat. His mind roamed to what could have possibly caused his boss to be late and decided to risk a query.

 

“Is everything okay with Mr. Kiriyuu, Sir?” Yes, he knew about his boss' peculiar situation. After all, he had been instrumental in drawing this unique individual to his boss' attention. He ritually greased various palms for information his boss could use and one of them worked at the local hospital and was a close friend of the resident doctor. Needless to say the CEO – who had been perilously close to an inconveniently destructive hopelessness – took the information and ran with it. Mr. Aidou had been worried about his methods but it seemed everything was going to be okay.

 

“What? Oh, yes. Just the usual complaints. You know.”

 

“I understand. I had five children myself. Before...”

 

“I know. You keep telling me...”

 

“I'm merely trying to be sympathetic, Sir.”

 

Verbal silence descended on the vehicle while Kaname impatiently drummed his fingers. He'll be late. How could he have let himself be carried away like that? How could he... not? He'd told himself he would only had been distracted thinking about him anyway. It had been a strategic decision. Yeah, right...

 

“Sir?” Mr. Aidou has the most disconcerting experience of having his boss begin to chuckle to himself for no reason. Was he losing his mind?

 

“Nothing, Aidou. No... In fact... call Mr. Cross. Get me an update on my lengthy divorce proceedings and tell him I will double his fees if he finds a way to speed it up. Also ask him to start drafting a pre-nuptial agreement. Tell him not to make it... too insulting. I want to see a copy of it by this afternoon.”

 

“A pre-nuptial...? Are you getting remarried, Sir?”

 

“Maybe.” He hoped so. Kaname grinned again. He didn't intend to let him get away. Maybe he needed to feel more secure in order to carry on existing as he was...

 

“To whom, Sir?” Mr. Aidou was genuinely lost. Mr. Kuran wasn't dating anybody... “Shit...”

 

“Pardon me?”

 

“Um... Fix your tie, Sir. Its crooked.”

 

How could he be so dense? Even if he had been sure the CEO didn't swing _that_ way, it wasn't a far out proposal. Zero Kiriyuu was pregnant with his children. He was partly a woman even though anyone could see that wasn't the first thing you noticed when you looked at him. By all accounts, the first few months had been rocky. But now... He guessed they had come to terms with everything. That they had found a way to love each other. May heaven help them.

 

 

 

 

 **ZERO CAME TO** with the damp knell of his bladder. He quickly pushed himself off the couch and waddled to the bathroom only just making it. It was his fault. He knew he had to go but couldn't get his body to move. Not after that. Zero closed his eyes and his mind took him to the sounds and feel of Kaname comprehensively screwing him, the slap of his thighs against his as he urgently sought relief. His own face had been pressed in a most undignified manner into the throw cushions as Kaname ground his hips into him. Eventually reaching his goal...

 

“ _Oh! Oh fffff...!”_

 

He didn't finish the thought. He only kept moving until Zero's own twisting hot wet sheath settled around his satiated flesh, before withdrawing with some reluctance and running for the bathroom. Zero was next cognisant of a kiss to his right cheek and a mumbled “See you this evening” before the door slid open and closed. Then there was silence and he drifted off completely.

 

Zero stood and walked over to wash his hands. He looked at his smiling reflection in the mirror and knew what, or who, had put it there. Because of what he had done to him, to _that_ part of him...

 

Zero sighed as his smile disappeared. He knew that Kaname wouldn't like if he had it removed. It was bordering on unhealthy how obsessive he was about it. Well, he supposed he remembered being like this. Any heterosexual man would be, actually. Not necessarily about his own as it was very proximal to his man-junk. But seriously, Kaname liked his having a vagina. And he liked when Kaname was happy. Loved when he used it. Was he being unreasonable in his wish to have it removed? As the doctor said it had always been there. What if he became a rapist or worst. Or sex-neutral? What if he changed in some way that he could never reverse?  What if it was okay to just... stay this way?

 

Zero shook his head, wiped his hands and pulled the sweaty very large T-shirt he was wearing over his head – his bottoms had been ripped off and tossed onto a lamp, he'd noticed. He needed a shower but he was still sleepy. He will do that later after some sleep... and pancakes. A tall pile of blueberry pancakes. Did Kaname remember to get some food-base?

 

 

 

**NO.**

 

Zero groaned as he waddled over to the table with the container of fish and rice from last night. He nibbled with some disappointment at the non-craved-for item and hoped Kaname had at least ordered some. It would be a long day without food and he was in no condition to be visiting the local restaurant...

 

The doorbell rang, thoroughly rattling Zero's nerves and almost making him drop his bowl of the only food in the house besides those revolting protein and fibre bars Kaname insisted he eat when Zero couldn't charm him out of it – and he'd be damned if he'd touch those without the threat of death hanging over him. He looked toward the screen.

 

“Present caller.”

 

The screen came on and the view of an impatient woman with long, platinum blonde hair stood waiting in the foyer. Zero's heart skipped a beat, especially as there was a box of food-base by her foot. Zero took his hand out of the bowl as the thought of blueberry pancakes loomed large in his head. With lots of syrup. And butter.

 

“ _Kaname? Come on. The camera light just came on. Are you in there? Kaname?”_

 

Zero thought that she was most persistent. He wondered what the two of them were like together. He also realised why she had shown up at the house in Finland. Zero involuntarily clenched his nether region in response to his knowledge. Was she here for another round?

 

“ _Kaname! Are you there? Maybe you don't need this then.”_

 

Zero's mouth dropped open. Oh no! She was taking the food-base!

 

 

 

“ _ **HELLO? CAN... I HELP YOU?”**_

 

Shizuka came back to the door camera and smile beatifically into it.

 

“Hi! Are you – don't tell me... Zero! How are you?”

 

“ _Fine. I'm sorry but Kaname isn't in...”_

 

“I see. I was going to his office when the delivery guy said he couldn't get an answer on his com-level. Kaname wouldn't schedule a delivery to his apartment if he wasn't in. He's anal like that.”

 

“ _It's for me. I was asleep earlier. Could you leave it?”_

 

“What about opening the door? I won't bite no matter what my husband says about me.”

 

“ _I can't. I'm sorry. Please leave it and go. I'll tell Kaname you stopped by.”_

 

So it's like that, is it? Shizuka squinted at the camera for a moment but was soon all smiles again.

 

“Fine! I'll leave it... over here. So no-one can steal it.”

 

“ _...Thanks.”_ Zero knew that no-one could get up here without a pass-code for the elevator. Shizuka evidently still had hers but as for anyone else stealing the food-base Zero had few worries.

 

“Alright! Later!”

 

 

**SHIZUKA WAVED** and went towards the elevator. She disappeared inside and Zero saw the numbers on the floors decrease. He sighed and stood, his mouth already watering. That was close! But now there was food!

 

He turned to go into his bedroom to get something to wear but changed his mind. No-one else was up here. And the box was just outside the door behind the designer bonsai shrubbery. It would take two seconds and he could eat and sleep.

 

Zero checked the camera again and touched the door-panel. It slid open softly as he stood to one side and peeped out. Then he risked a leg and a swollen chest. No-one. Good...

 

Hence it was a surprise when he bent over the plant to pull at the box and saw a pair of feminine tan-coloured heels out the corner of his eye to his right. He dropped it and whipped around to be met by bulging grey eyes not dissimilar to his own, with the rest of the face obscured by her hands as she looked like she was going to faint. Zero belatedly remembered to try to cover his bits, forgetting that that wasn't the most obvious part of his anatomy on show.

 

“Mrs. Kuran uh... Hiou... uh....” Zero searched for words as he edged toward the door. He needn't have bothered. He was cut off by a lengthy, unholy scream.

 

“That fucking bastard!!! THAT FUCKING BASTARD!!!”

 

_to be continued_

 


	17. Shizuka

Shizuka

 

 

“ **THIS AREA WILL BE DEDICATED** to artists of French extraction. There will be a simulated waterfall as a back-drop to some of the richest aspects of French culture...”

 

Kaname paused as he felt his inner breast pocket vibrate. He continued his presentation, in perfect french, to the nodding dignitaries behind him but eventually secreted the device into his hand at the earliest opportunity when he would not be directly observed – people were still insulted by anything less than your undivided attention, especially french Committee members. He turned away discretely and looked at Zero's message, merely checking it's nature when he stopped talking abruptly.

 

“Mr. Kuran? Is everything alright?”

 

No-one one could blame the Chairman for asking. Kaname had gone a sickly shade of white...

 

“I'm fine. Something I need... to take care of. Mr. Aidou will give some more of the specs for this area while a make a quick very important call. Please excuse me.”

 

Kaname walked away from the procession without giving anyone a chance to answer and Aidou cleared his throat to get their attention as he quickly scrolled his e-pad for the requisite information. No doubt it was Zero. All Kaname's business calls had been diverted to him. He hoped everything was alright.

 

 

“ **THERE!”** Shizuka exclaimed before unlocking the bathroom door and walking past the chagrined but now fully clothed lumbering man that she had easily stolen the i-assistant from and bolted. “We should hear from him shortly!”

 

“That was cruel. Why didn't you just let me call him?”

 

“I was in the mood to be cruel, Zero.” Shizuka's eyes flashed coldly as she said this but she soon smiled warmly again. Zero backed away cautiously, a protective hand on his stomach. Shizuka looked at him speculatively.

 

“You look ready to pop. He shouldn't have left you alone like this.”

 

“I'm... I'm in my eighth month.”

 

“What? You're huge! That baby will weigh...!”

 

“Babies. Quadruplets.”

 

Shizuka fell silent although her mouth stayed open. She abruptly walked away from him and went to the entrance way. Zero followed her suspiciously and saw as she fished behind the bonsai shrubbery and hefted the box of food-base. She returned, opened the box and removed a packet. She opened the correct cupboard to store the remainder before heading to the Auto-Cook to insert the packet. Zero was painfully reminded that she knew her way around the apartment. That this was Kaname's wife...

 

“Sorry?” Zero asked, having heard her say something but not concentrating.

 

“I'd said: what did you want to eat?”

 

“It's okay...”  He'd definitely lost his appetite.

 

“Don't be silly. You were desperate enough earlier.”

 

“How did you do that? I saw you leave...”

 

“There's a blind spot on the camera. I put it there myself just before I left the apartment.”

 

“But why...?”

 

“I still love him, you see. I hated the idea that he could just discard me like that. I'd wanted to be able to... to...” What's a non-crazy way to put “stalk him”...?

 

“But didn't you file for the divorce?”

 

Shizuka laughed bitterly and turned away, pretending to look for plates. She opened a cupboard and pulled some ceramic wares down. She hated eating from those cartons.

 

“One could say that. One could also say that I had no choice. The divorce began the most attention I'd had from him in months. I'll give you a tip about Kaname Kuran. He is brilliant but he has an almost ruthless tunnel vision about what's important to him. As long as he thinks it is worth his time he will lavish his attention on it, go after it. When he doesn't it will become as good as dead to him. It's how I knew the blind-spot would stay where I left it. He doesn't care about this place. It is merely for sleeping in and keeping his designer ties. Nothing has changed about this place in the two years since I left. Nothing.”

 

Zero looked around at the décor. The paintings, the vases, the tastefully pastel lampshades. It was her work. Her stamp on it.

 

“Just like you'll know when he doesn't care about you any more. He'll 'forget' to return your calls. 'Forget' to carry out a request you make of him, when before he would have done it first thing. Pretty soon you feel as though he's 'forgotten' about you.”

 

“I can't believe... I can't believe he's like that...”

 

“Now you see why I am in the mood to be cruel. Especially after this.”

 

Shizuka gestured at Zero's stomach and he again covered it protectively. She laughed again.

 

“Don't worry. I'm not going to say or do anything to you. Four kids! Is it an implant? I know Kaname was funding research into male carriers but...” That had looked hopeless to say the least.

 

“It's... It's natural. You could say I have both sets of equipment.”

 

Shizuka again looked gob-smacked, standing there quite speechless. She eventually closed her mouth.

 

“You're a hermaphrodite?!!”

 

Zero winced. It was the first time he'd heard that word in reference to him. He didn't like it. He felt like a circus freak or a snail or something.

 

“Sorry! I... It's just that... They are so rare and it's practically unheard of for them to be able to have children! Even before the attacks! But of course Kaname would find you...” Shizuka trailed off and turned to the Auto-Cook. “Sit down, will you? Tell me what you want to eat. I'll make it.”

 

Zero frowned at this. Why is she taking over? She doesn't live here any more. He wondered if he should insist she leave, get the android to help but that was when she turned toward him and walked over to where he stood. She reached out her hands and cupped his elbows and gently began to pull him toward the easy chair in the living area. She then applied pressure and Zero sat, watching in almost comical puzzlement as she adjusted the chair to lift his feet, brought cushions, and settled on the arm-rest, looking into his eyes. Zero had time to notice that besides being quite nuts she was very beautiful. He felt an uncontrollable urge to touch her hair as it swung toward him as she sat and she smiled encouragingly as he reached out to touch it. He entwined his fingers into it. Soft, silky and smelling of citrus and musk. A woman. Zero felt relief as his body reacted, for some unknown reason.

 

“How natural was this conception?” Shizuka asked softly as Zero combed her long hair with some enjoyment. Zero tensed and pulled away and she sighed.

 

“Hey. Look. I'm sorry I tricked you. And, I'm sorry I used the H-word. And I'm sorry I am prying. But this is remarkable. My field is horticulture but I _am_ a biologist and...”

 

“Do you know why I am... this way?”

 

Shizuka was again taken aback by the pain in Zero's eyes. She clasped his hand with her own.

 

“An accident of gamete division or conception. Mutation. To be sure I would have to study your DNA. Does it matter? It's wonderful!!”

 

Zero looked away. He kept hearing that...

 

“Oh look! Look! Your stomach is moving!”

 

Zero got distracted from his pity party of one and smiled at her wonderment. It was such an everyday occurrence to him.

 

“Dean. He gets up early.” Zero rubbed his stomach, an affectionate but weary smile on his lips. “Partly because Emily occasionally kicks him in the butt. That's his head there.”

 

Shizuka stared at him. It was surreal. This _man_...

 

“May I? Please?”

 

“...Sure.” Zero replied, struck by her tone. It seemed so reverential. He watched as she touched his stomach. Hesitantly at first and then with both hands and growing confidence as Zero didn't seem to mind.

 

“Where are the others? What are their names?” She said in a rush. Zero looked overwhelmed.

 

“Uh. Okay...”

 

Zero lifted his shirt and introduced Emily, Stephen and Charlotte, only regretting it when she giggled and rubbed her hand fairly low on his stomach when Charlotte “kicked”, quite close to the other responsive flesh Zero had to worry about... Why did people forget he existed underneath this stomach? It was some time before Shizuka wanted to do anything else but by then she had Zero laughing with her. She was alright, Zero thought...

 

“Come on. Tell me what you want to eat. I know what its like being pregnant. All you want to do is eat and sleep and wish the cramp in you legs and back would go away...”

 

“That's right! You both went through two surrogate pregnancies before...”

 

Shizuka pulled away and stood, pacing away from Zero abruptly. Zero was surprised by the sudden change. She soon turned, however, and looked at him again.

 

“Is that... what he told you...?”

 

“...Yes. I... It was hard on him...”

 

“On me too, Zero. On me too.”

 

Zero got that feeling again, like he should butt out of the couple's personal business when he noticed she was unbuttoning her jacket...

 

“No! Wait! I believe you! Look. Kaname will be home this evening. Why don't you...”

 

Finally it was Zero's turn to be flummoxed. Yes, the lacy almost transparent bra and set of perfect C-cup breasts were beguiling to behold but he eventually noticed... her stomach... Those stretch marks and the scar... Zero looked away again, his mind reeling. Shizuka replaced her clothes and sat on the couch, unable to believe that the man she loved could be so... calculating. The silence descended on them like an elephant on a toothpick but Shizuka recovered faster.

 

“I'll make something anyway. It's almost noon.” She rose and escaped, leaving Zero to compose himself. However, Zero was beginning to have no doubt in his mind that she had a every right to be cruel.

 

 

 **SHIZUKA** decided on “pelau” and baked “chicken” something she couldn't get enough of when she had been gestating. Of course she was aware that it could be different for everyone but Zero wasn't talking and he had to eat. He was carrying four!! Wow!! Shizuka lost herself in the thought of this cold apartment full of screaming, playing children. The girls in frilly dress, the boys in cowboy costumes – she was decidedly old school – racing down the corridors pretending to be chased by the dragons in their fairy tales. Kaname's children would be a handful, she had decided that. She would be up to the challenge though...

 

_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP._

 

Shizuka came to and looked at the slim gadget on the counter. Sixteen minutes, fourteen seconds. He must have been busy. She had been sure the picture she had taken of Zero and her together would have gotten an immediate, irate response. She took it up and checked to see if Zero had heard it before going into the bedroom. Zero didn't need to hear the whole sordid mess.

 

 

 

“ _ **WHERE IS HE?”**_

 

Shizuka ignored the gruff demand. “Hello to you too.”

 

“Cut the shit, Shizuka. What are you doing in my house?”

 

“Just visiting. I came to bring you this.”

 

Shizuka held up the divorce settlement on her i-assistant with her electronic signature. She pressed delete and confirmed it as she seemed to lose picture for a while. But Kaname came back.

 

“What do I have to do to get rid of you?”

 

“Especially since last year's model has to be traded for the newer, fertile one...”

 

“It's not like that...”

 

“Yes. Yes it is. It's exactly like that. You told him I was a surrogate. Your _wife_...!”

 

“I paid just as dearly, if you recall. Besides, he doesn't need to know everything, Shizuka. I'm not as open about my private life as you are. And before you make yourself out to be the victim again, remember _you_ are divorcing _me_...”

 

“I had no choice! You know that! You instantly relegated me to unimportant as soon as we had finished consulting all the doctors..!”

 

“It's not true. I had to work. You were too needy. You forgot you weren't the only one in pain...”

 

“You blamed me. You blamed me and it was my dream too! I was no longer useful to you once I couldn't have children! Do you think I don't know you by now? I wonder if Zero knows what will happen to him once he outlives his usefulness!”

 

“He won't. He's fertile. He'll actually give me what I want!”

 

Shizuka threw the gadget at the wall in a fit of rage and sank to the floor, sobbing. She felt herself becoming hysterical. She tried to rein it in, taking huge breaths. But the knock came at the door.

 

“Mrs. Kuran? Are you okay?”

 

“Yes! Splendid! Just getting comfortable. I'll be right out!  And call me Shizuka, okay?”

 

Shizuka ran to the en suite and washed her face, then came out and headed for a drawer of Kaname's clothes for a T-shirt. Everything exactly as she'd left it. Everything. It was one of the things that made her feel wanted at first, his seeming inability to do anything for himself. To make a home. He had hired a designer ages ago for the apartment, had consultants, stylists and designers for his clothing and hair. He had let her take over and she had felt so... wanted. It had come with brutal clarity when she realised that wasn't it at all. She had only been fooling herself.

 

“We'll see who'll get rid of whom, Kaname,” She whispered as he slammed the drawer closed. “You God-damned son-of-a-bitch.”

 

to be continued

 

 


	18. The Ultimatim

The Ultimatim

 

 

 **KANAME** let himself in to the apartment and dropped his case on the chair in the hallway near the door. He was incredibly apprehensive about what he would find. He had been unable to call Zero after speaking to Shizuka, the main link somehow unreachable. But he couldn't delay his getting back to the French dignitaries any longer and he couldn't get away before now. But he had been on tenterhooks the entire day, always checking for news, reading his updates on Zero's condition, – which meant he was still in the apartment - until he was finally able to decently make his departure. The meeting had gone well. He had accomplished what he had come to do. He was another step closer to being there for his children when they were born. But now what? Shizuka _knew._ Will they ever be free to be happy together? Did anything she may have said change his mind about him?

 

Kaname marched down the hallway to his bedroom, opened the door... and sighed in relief as he saw the large lump under the covers. He hadn't realised he'd been that afraid until he'd wiped his face and saw the sweat on his fingers.  _It's fine. He's here as normal. Maybe it will be okay._

 

“Be careful. Don't wake him. He just went to sleep.”

 

Kaname's blood ran cold as he heard the voice, her voice, behind him. He couldn't believe she was still here.

 

“You...!”

 

“Good morning, Kaname. Can I interest you in a late snack? An omelette? I got some real dehydrated eggs from the supermarket...”

 

“Why are you still here?!” Kaname snarled, rounding on her. Shizuka put her finger to her lips and walked around him to close the door to the bedroom. She then beckoned her astounded, almost ex-husband towards the kitchen. Kaname inhaled to calm himself before following. He needed a cool head now.

 

Shizuka didn't turn around from her task as he entered. She knew it was him and besides that, she was too nervous and was trying to hide it. He had a right to be angry. She had no business being here. They were separated, their divorce almost final. Yet here she was, helping herself to a snack in what had been their kitchen for almost seven years...

 

“You have some nerve...”

 

“C'mon. I've put in onion and paprika powder with just a pinch of salt, just how you like it.”

 

“I don't want anything from you but your signature on the settlement. I don't care what you think you are entitled to...”

 

Shizuka turned and placed the plate on the counter with some ferocity, cutting off her husband's cold diatribe. Kaname looked up from the steaming plate of golden brown eggs with a side of “toast” to his wife's cold, angry gaze.

 

“Sit down. We should talk.”

 

“Screw you. You can talk to my lawyer. Now get out.”

 

“I don't think that's a good idea. Zero invited me to stay. Besides, I may become even angrier than I am now and put this in the jurisdiction of the courts...”

 

“You are entitled to nothing, Shizuka. Those are Zero's children and I am just helping him out as a good employer. You have no evidence that there is any surrogacy agreement between me and him...”

 

“Impressive!” Shizuka exclaimed, walking over to the table and putting her plate down with a smidgen less force than previously before sitting and tucking in, waving her hand dismissively. “Is that what you came up with in the last eleven hours?”

 

“What the fuck do you want?” Kaname almost screamed, his composure showing some serious wear. He was through playing games with her. His day had been long enough already.

 

Shizuka didn't look up from her plate. She did however pull her i-assistant from her pocket and scrolled for a few moments. The visi-screen in the kitchen came to life and... Kaname walked over to it, his face decidedly becoming ashen.

 

“ _That_ is what I want to talk about, Kaname. You really should have a seat.”

 

 

 

 

 **ZERO** was brought out of his turbulent repose when he felt the kiss on his ear, then neck and the pressure of a warm body into his back. He sighed in contentment and satisfaction as he pulled one hand from under his head and threaded the fingers of the hand cupping his stomach.

 

“Kaname...”

 

“Sorry, I... I didn't mean to wake you...”

 

“That's alright. I was trying to wait up for you anyway but dozed off...”

 

“Shhh. I only wanted to kiss you and let you feel I was home. Go back to sleep. You need your rest...”

 

“I'm okay. I've been napping most of the day anyway. Shizuka wouldn't let me lift a finger except for going to the bathroom and even then she offered to hold it. I actually found myself thinking about it... Kaname?”

 

Zero sat up in bed and tapped the lamp beside him. He squinted as the light illuminated him suddenly. Kaname was already standing and walking away from him but he was shrugging off his jacket. He began on his tie next, his back to Zero. Still the youth could see how tense he was...

 

“Kaname, what's wrong?”

 

“She's here.”

 

“Yes. I know. She's in my room. I'm sorry, Kaname, she tricked me and then she saw me...”

 

“It's not your fault, Zero. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. Okay?”

 

“Well. It's what I wanted to talk to you about before you did anything about it.”

 

Kaname turned back toward him at this and met his eyes. Zero could see his fury and pain. Again he got that feeling as if there was more to their relationship than met the eye and he should leave well enough alone. However...

 

“About Shizuka...”

 

Zero swallowed as he remembered the look she had given him earlier after supper. They had spent the day together, she showing no signs of leaving and Zero – truth be told - was quite tired of being alone all day. He'd even found himself beginning to flirt with her and it was like, for the first time in months, he'd felt normal. Masculine. It was silly, he thought now, especially after the bubble burst almost audibly as he explained that he usually slept in Kaname's room when the topic was raised about her having nowhere to stay in town. Here he was, a pudgy man, fairly heavily pregnant, behaving as if he was back in the lunch room at work or in a restaurant on a hot date. But she'd had made it easy for him. She had actually reciprocated. The batted eyes, the toss of the hair, right down to the touches on his less than optimally toned arms. Zero knew he liked her, knew she was extremely kind, when she'd deliberately brushed up against him as she passed around the counter with the plates for dinner. She'd realised what he's needed and for the first time in a long time he'd felt... attractive. Manly. Of course, it lasted until he had to waddle to the bathroom to take a leak. Still...

 

“She's gotten to you too.”

 

Zero came out of his blushing memory to meet Kaname's furious gaze. His fists were clenched on his divested shirt to the point that his arms bunched. Zero swung his legs off the bed and walked gingerly over to him.

 

“She had nowhere to go...”

 

“I can think of several!” Kaname spat, pulling away from Zero's hand. “One in particular...”

 

“...I couldn't bring myself to throw her out. She seems lonely and well... I like her...”

 

“Like her?!” Kaname scoffed, his dark, flashing eyes rising to meet Zero's determined grey ones.

 

“Yes. She was great today, Kaname. I can't tell you how good it was to be around someone else besides you and the doctor...”

 

“She is beautiful too. Isn't she?”

 

Zero dropped his gaze. The way he was looking at him, as if he stolen the Monet in the living room. It didn't help that Zero blushed at this.

 

“That's not it at all...”

 

“Isn't it? You wouldn't be the first man to fall for that package,” he sneered, accusing.

 

“Are you referring to yourself?” Zero countered, his own temper getting the best of him. So what? After months of craziness why couldn't something normal happen to him?

 

Kaname threw his shirt to the floor and stomped into the bathroom. Did he wish to God he hadn't fallen for her. He wouldn't be in this mess...

 

 

“ _That means nothing. If you want to know what I did with it: I destroyed it. It was serving no purpose.”_

 

“ _Hah! You are simply unscrupulous, you know that? But guess what? I don't think you did. I think you had it implanted. Why don't I pose my theory to your new breed mare? Perhaps suggest he test their DNA? After all he is already suspicious about his own...”_

 

“ _Shizuka! Don't fuck with me! You have no idea who you are dealing with...!”_

 

“ _Don't I, you son of a bitch? Oh how you underestimate me. But I don't care any more, Kaname! Don't you understand? I don't give a fuck any more!!” Shizuka screamed, rising from the table herself to eliminate the advantage he had in height. “I have lost_ everything _I cared about and am now about to be discarded like yesterday's trash! You think I give a shit what you do to me? Go ahead and do your worst! But be sure I won't take you down with me!”_

 

“ _No wonder we couldn't reason with you. You're insane.”_

 

“ _You'd like to think so, wouldn't you? Maybe if you could be bothered with how I feel you'd understand. Imagine you were going to put our embryo in him and not say a word to me...!”_

 

“ _What were you going to do with it? Use it to chill the white wine cocktails you were 'medicating' yourself with?”_

 

“ _You... you swine...”_

 

“ _You ain't seen nothing yet. Go ahead and sue. I will crush you...!”_

 

“ _Not just you. Him. After all he has my property inside of him. What was that you'd said? You had no surrogacy agreement...?”_

 

“ _You bitch...!”_

 

“ _I think I'll change my mind about the divorce. I am feeling a sudden resurgence of_ feeling _for you...”_

 

“ _That's out of the question. I don't love you. I refuse to stay married to you!”_

 

“ _Then you'd better think of a different settlement then. One that guarantees me access to my property. I don't care about the houses or shares. You can have those back. I want to be here. I want my sons to know I am their mother and you are not getting a fucking divorce until I am well assured that this will happen. Am I clear?”_

 

 

Kaname had left at that point before he did something he regretted, going to hold Zero in his arms just to remind himself of what's important. _Damned cunt! She's ruining everything...!_

 

“Kaname.” Zero reached out his hand to grab the shoulder of the stalled brunette. “Look... All I'm saying is I don't think she means any harm and she is charmed by the idea of the children. Maybe she could help...”

 

“You have no idea what you are talking about, Zero. None.”

 

“What can she do to us? If she helps out she would be in collusion anyway. She's endangering herself by even being here and not reporting us...”

 

“Don't be absurd. We can't trust her...”

 

“I think we can...”

 

“What?! YOU think so? Based on what? Meeting her twice in your entire life?”

 

“Look, Kaname! I know you hate the idea but what do you want to do? Push her out the door and pretend this didn't happen?”

 

“That was my first inclination! She was divorcing me! She has no more claims on my life!”

 

“Was...?”

 

“...Is! Is! That's my point!”

 

“She understands that...”

 

“Does she now?” Kaname spat sarcastically, remembering yet another settlement agreement she'd “shredded” today just to make his life a living hell. He'd almost been free! Free to make Zero his. Undeniably his. And she went and destroyed his chance...!

 

“Yes. She does. She wants to be able to help. That's all...”

 

“No. It's out of the question...” And as soon as he found a way he would extricate himself from her clutches. Kaname pulled away to head for shower. He wanted to throw her out this instant. Imagine trying to get to him through Zero! Of all the despicable...!

 

“But... Dammit, Kaname! Listen to me! After what she'd been through for you, can't you at least give her this one little thing? She'd been as desperate as you were to have children and now she can't! She told me about all the doctors and alternative specialists you both have been to! She told me how you accompanied her each and every time and how you seemed just as upset with every failure. You of all people should understand what she is going through! You have to understand that she did everything she could and it wasn't her fault!”

 

“Why are you doing this?” Kaname ground out over the sound of the cleaning solution. “This isn't your marriage! She isn't your wife! You hardly know her...!”

 

“But I know you. I know what you are like and I'm beginning to understand other things too. You can't stand failure. Certainly not in others but especially not in yourself. She represents such a failure and now you are discarding her and moving on as if she meant nothing to you beyond that. But she doesn't deserve such a punishment. Anyone with those scars _certainly_ doesn't...!” He should know. Her last pregnancy terminated in the _fourth_ month. He knew he cursed them blue on occasion but he couldn't imagine going through that...

 

“Zero, I don't have to stay married to anyone I don't wish to be married to. Not for you or her.”

 

“I know. But she doesn't have to be a pariah either. Look, Kaname,” Zero tried as he approached the shower cubicle, “You know her better than I do. All I know is that I think she has a good heart, she didn't report us and I know she helped pick out the baby clothes you have stashed in your closet. We have four children on the way. Four. They're quiet now but what happens when they are born? What happens when they all wake up at the same time and are teething...?”

 

“We'll manage...”

 

“...And you're at work? Or in France like you were today?”

 

“Are you saying that I won't support you...?!” Kaname bellowed, hurt. What he'd done yesterday, his schedule for the last few weeks had been geared toward his being here for him. He'd thought he understood that!

 

“No! I know you're trying, Kaname. But I'm saying that we will need help. You have to work and I can't do it alone. You said it yourself: there are very few people we can trust with this. I suggest we get our heads out of the clouds and start exploring our options. One is your ex-wife.”

 

“I'd rather quit GE than...”

 

“Who are you kidding? Consider it. Please?”

 

Kaname looked at Zero's pleading gaze through the shower door for a while longer before turning away to think. He'd made a compelling argument but everything in Kaname rejected it. He'd had plans to be nearby when Zero and the kids needed him. The call system would alert him if the babies cried and he could be up here in minutes. He'd also planned to delegate more of his responsibilities, be less hands on, have more people report to him. But if he was honest he would admit that he may still have to travel and taking four children along would be impossible. Hence Zero would be on his own. There was the doctor and Mr. Aidou but while he would do it if the need arose it was an imposition he loathed to make. They _would_ need help. But Shizuka? He didn't trust her around his children. And after what she'd said he was even less inclined to consider her an option. But what of her influence on Zero? Kaname had no illusions that these were Shizuka's words. Zero hadn't been worried about teething until today, he was sure. What else could she talk him into doing? Or... not doing? What if she got between them? What better excuse than a wife to not proceed with a relationship? Kaname's heart began to pound as he thought of it. Add this to what happened yesterday at the doctor's and it seemed as though Zero was preparing to move on without him. After all, he'd never wanted this for himself...

 

Zero started as the shower cubicle opened and Kaname was suddenly standing in front of him; naked, wet, all glistening smooth, muscled skin. He was able to work out, the bastard... Zero swallowed audibly as he saw that Kaname had noticed his grim appreciation then smiled for the first time since he'd been home.

 

“I see you really want this, Zero.” He said it as though he meant... something else... “I'll consider it, okay?”

 

“Th... Thanks, Kaname.” It was Zero's turn for a shower.  A cold one.

 

“You should know,” Kaname began, reaching out to trace one of the damp spots on Zero's pyjama top, tantalisingly near one ripe nipple, “you started something this morning I've been thinking about all day...”

 

“And... you finished it, if I can recall correctly.”

 

“Hardly an appetizer. It didn't help that my last view of you was my favourite one. I've been in agony ever since...”

 

“You perv...”

 

Zero paused as Kaname leaned forward, still quite damp and cupped his face. Zero's eyes lidded as Kaname brushed his lips briefly, again and again. Geez, he was already... Damn, why won't he kiss him? Zero closed the distance between them, pulling him against him impatiently... and promptly got a reminder of what else he needed to do in the bathroom. He tried to hold it as Kaname's hot tongue slipped past his lips, causing a different sensation to swirl sweetly in his stomach. Zero's hand lowered and grabbed his lover's behind possessively and it was Kaname's turn to groan, backing Zero against the wall. He was tired but he definitely had enough energy for making love to Zero. Kaname's breaths fanned the youth's face as he reached between them to tug at Zero's clothing, his shirt, reaching to cup one swollen breast. It leaked onto his palm. Kaname moaned appreciatively and dipped to nurse the full peak. Zero bit his lip in frustration as Kaname got distracted, not comfortable with this activity or his lover's affinity for it. Still there were other rewards...

 

“Oh. God...!”

 

Zero's head rolled back against the wall as his body throbbed from just the tender attentions on his breasts. They were so sensitive! He could feel himself growing damp elsewhere from this activity alone. Feel himself want more. To be... _God_...!

 

“Kaname... Kaname, please... I...”

 

Kaname felt the fingers tighten in his hair but he didn't stop. Zero wanted him. Not Shizuka. Not Yuuki. _Him_. He wanted this small triumph acknowledged. He wanted him to say it.

 

“What, my love. What is it?”

 

“You know. Please...”

 

“Tell me. Tell me now.”

 

Kaname's hand slipped under Zero's huge stomach and cupped him, all while his mouth drew a nipple deep into his mouth, the tongue sliding hotly against the tender flesh. Zero whined, his legs trembling, even as Kaname swallowed the results of his labours. Kaname absently thought Zero really was ready for breast pads as his fingers slid easily into him...

 

“OH GOD!!!” Zero breathed, his drenched canal squeezing the digits gratefully. Kaname nipped a roseate bud but changed nothing except the slow twist of his fingers against the forward wall. Zero pushed down against them reflexively as a surge of hot sensation coursed through him. He knew what would be even better. He pulled at Kaname's head, wanting to kiss him, wanting to use what he knew to melt him and push him to the floor, but Kaname only lifted his head to look at him.

 

“What do you want, darling.”

 

“Don't...”

 

“What?”

 

“You. I want you. Please...”

 

Kaname crushed his mouth to his lover's. It was good enough. He couldn't take much more himself.

 

They found themselves on the floor, Zero on his back, Kaname over him, kissing him, apologising for his lust, his need, his inability to wait for better accommodation. Zero was close to forgiving him anything as he spread his legs, indicating what he wanted. He was mindless, submerged in everything Kaname: he scent, his touch, taste, feel... Zero was momentarily distracted as a pile of towels fell onto them as Kaname had yanked frustratedly at them but arched as he took him hard, after pushing several wads beneath his hips to elevate. He gasped at the hint of pain but also at the wash of pleasure that nearly undid him....

 

“Kaname. Oh God!”

 

Zero cried out as the hard, warm flesh slammed into him, again and again, taking him away completely, making him yearn for more. Caution was thrown to the wind as he was gloriously fucked, his body clamping down on the greedy erection then rose to his peak in short order, finally exploding in a shivering maelstrom of pleasure. Zero bit his hand to deal with it as his partner continued through it all, seemingly oblivious to what he was doing to his young lover, but thoroughly engaged in an exercise of retribution. _This is what you want. Me. You'll never forget that. I'll make sure you never forget that...._

 

“Kaname! Ah! Kaname!”

 

Zero rolled away as he came again, his stomach hard from the mercilessly contracting muscles of his womb. He was pulled back roughly and entered in the same fashion, his legs propped on the brunette's strong shoulders. The slapping noises of coitus resumed until Zero groaned loudly again, his sweat-soaked brow grimacing as he erupted yet again. Just from this. Just from that place being...

 

“Kaname...!”

 

“Tell me you love me. Say it.”

 

“Kana...”

 

“Tell me!” Kaname growled, leaning over, looking into his eyes.

 

“I...”

 

Kaname reached between them for his arousal, palming it confidently...

 

“I love you!” Zero cried, shuddering exquisitely from the twin stimuli.

 

“Tell me you'll never leave me!”

 

“I won't. I won't leave... Oh, _fuck_...!”

 

How did that happen? Zero barrelled toward the brink, his damp sheath contracting painfully around his lover's abused erection finally bringing the brunette to his own capitulation. Kaname collapsed against the huge mound of Zero's stomach and shook, his body convulsing at it seeded his lover's hot, wet canal. He too was lost in Zero, unable to countenance any such thing as his not being here, not being his. Whatever he did, he had to protect him. Protect this. It was all that mattered...

 

“Kaname, wait! I have to... Damn!”

 

Zero suddenly shoved him off and got onto his knees but it was too late. He'd already...

 

“Shit!”

 

Kaname was a little stunned. The damp trail on his leg wasn't exactly of the type he'd expected to see but he was there, helping Zero to his feet and taking him over to the facilities. He was damned amused that Zero was a bright shade of red and was shoving him away as if he was too embarrassed to be seen. But Kaname stayed, of course, helping him out of what was left of his clothing and cleaning the floor. It was only after Kaname was finished did Zero surface from his hands.

 

“I'm sorry...”

 

“Don't worry about it. I understand...”

 

“I should have gone before but...”

 

“I'm thinking of including it in our repertoire. I never realised 'golden showers' could be so erotic...”

 

“What?” Zero's face fell as he looked up at Kaname's face. Was he really that crazy...?

 

“It's a fetish you know. But I never saw the attraction until just now...”

 

“Out! Out! You god-damned pervert! You're insane! I have no idea why I bother to let you...!”

 

“Hey! I was just trying to make you feel...”

 

CRASH!!!

 

Okay, Kaname thought as he ducked and beat a hasty mirthful retreat to the bedroom, maybe he should leave him alone for a few minutes...

 

 

 

“ **ARE YOU STILL** here?”

 

Shizuka pulled a chair and motioned for her husband to sit. Then she walked around to the other side of the table. Kaname's eyes narrowed at this but he took the coffee and protein bar she'd already placed on the counter for him, like she'd never left, and came over to sit. Maybe now she was in the mood to talk. Kaname watched her closely as he sipped the beverage. It was piping hot, just the way he liked it.

 

“Did you get a chance to speak to Zero?”

 

“Yes. I am well aware of the notions you've filled his head with. I'll give you points for recognising he is my weakness but that's about it. I don't think your being around is something I am comfortable with.”

 

“Why? Do you think I'll kidnap them? Where would I go?”

 

“It's not that. I simply don't trust you. The way you've been dragging your heels with this divorce shows you have an agenda. I don't want to be on it.”

 

“Kaname, that's rubbish. I've only been stalling because I don't want the divorce. I've never stopped... loving you...”

 

“It's too late. I'm in love with someone else.”

 

“Zero.”

 

“I want to marry him.”

 

“How neatly done. You're never happy unless you're in absolute possession.”

 

Kaname bit his bar and met her eyes.

 

“I've told my lawyer to forward to you the settlement again as you seemed to have misplaced yours. There's something extra in it for you. Even Zsa Zsa Gabor would leap at this one.”

 

“I've told you, I don't want anything else but my children. The same claims you are making on Zero's pregnancy I have a right to make. You must understand that. The way this world is I would be mad to walk away from this!”

 

“Shizuka...”

 

“Kaname. I am serious about this. You will have to kill me.”

 

“There's a thought...”

 

“The other option is to let me be here for them. I will work for free and you can rest assured that your perfect family is well taken care of by a person with a vested interest in them. You must know Zero needs the support. He told me about having to give up his career...”

 

“You two are like best friends already...!”

 

“Now he won't have to. He'll be happier and so will you. Think about it...”

 

“What about you? What do you want out of this?”

 

“Their happiness. Their love. And their calling me 'mommy'. Zero hates the title anyway...”

 

“No... I... hate this...”

 

“Don't worry. I'm not here to be a threat. Just think about. Okay?”

 

Shizuka rose from the table and took her empty plate to the antiquated dish-washer. She looked at the clock...

 

“What time is Zero usually up?”

 

“Around ten. Why?”

 

“I want to do some errands. I think I can be back by then...”

 

“He's not helpless you know!”

 

“I know. But he's doing enough for us already. I have no problem helping out.”

 

“Shizuka, I swear, if you are up to anything...”

 

“Have a good day, Kaname. Excuse me while I go change.”

 

 

“ **THERE.** It looks good! How's the support?”

 

“Fine...” Zero was uncomfortable discussing things like support for his chest. Shizuka laughed.

 

“Honestly, Zero. I won't think any less of you if you admit your breasts are leaking colostrum.”

 

“It's not you I'm worried about,” Zero muttered with some self-loathing. “I am grateful, it's just making me nuts having to deal with it...”

 

“That's why I'm here. I'll make you five more vests like these.  You can change them as often as you like during the day. I can launder them for the next day.”

 

“Okay... Can we please talk about something else?”

 

“Yes. Your pregnancy pillow. I love this material. What do you think...?”

 

“What?”

 

“Your pillow,” Shizuka said slowly then sighed. His denial was practically insurmountable. “It will help you sleep better. It supports your stomach and head, elevates your upper leg so its not pressing against the bump. You'll sleep like the dead... in between trips to the bathroom. The material carries away heat and dampness from your skin...”

 

“Uh, fine. I think there's a game on in three minutes...” Zero began to edge towards the end of the chair to stand. Didn't she know the feeling of fingernails on a chalk-board?

 

“Zero! I need to measure you for this! Why are you being so difficult?”

 

“I'm not! I'll do it later.” After he recovered from the boob-vests and being told he'd have to wear these giant pads for the water breaking from his... his... “Are you hungry?”

 

Shizuka sighed and replaced the material onto the chair.

 

“Okay. Two hours and then we deal with it. Do you hear me, Zero?”

 

Zero pretended he hadn't as he waddled to the Auto-Cook. He was annoyed. He'd made it this far with his dignity somewhat intact – save for peeing on Kaname and the waddling - and now she wanted him to wear an enormous sanitary napkin. He was beginning to yearn for the pre-female dynamic of the place. But don't get him wrong. He liked her. She was great. Otherwise he'd never have stayed past the breast-pump portion of the vest fitting...

 

“What are you having?”

 

“Just a protein bar. I can't keep up with you.”

 

“That's what Kaname says. He usually picks at a salad though.”

 

Shizuka was quiet for a while at the mention of her husband's name. She wondered if she should bring it up at all...

 

“About what I said yesterday...”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I was angry and bitter. Kaname is actually a good person. He's just really...”

 

“Focused?”

 

“...Yeah. He loves you. I know that. I didn't want to make it seem like he's untrustworthy.”

 

“I understand.” What was it with women? He was getting the nails on the chalk-board feeling again...

 

“His not divorcing and fully committing to you is my fault. Like I said, its hard to let him go.”

 

“Don't worry about it. It's not like I want to marry him.” Zero laughed uncomfortably at the idea. Shizuka didn't though.

 

“Why not? With the children on the way...”

 

“I'm... just not sure it's what I want, that's all. I need more time. This has been a lot on me all at once. I feel like I can't think straight until my hormones are normal.”

 

“I know what you mean.”

 

“Do you?”

 

“...Yes,” Shizuka replied, hesitant as she sensed some bitterness. “When I was pregnant the mood swings could have ended my marriage. Kaname was wonderful.”

 

“He... is.”

 

Shizuka cocked her head to a side in puzzlement as Zero seemed to tune out. The Auto-Cook sounded and she went to it, taking the wraps and sliding them onto a plate.

 

“Alright, Zero. I can hear your 'Y' chromosome screaming for a break from the girl stuff. How about the game?”

 

“Sure! After ...”

 

Shizuka laughed as he bounded for the bath-room. She called after him.

 

“I'll get the 'beers'. ...And leave Charlotte alone!” She yelled as she heard him tune up for a cussing.

 

She turned back toward the living-room and the large visi-screen, looking for the game. She felt better about her decision but wondered what Kaname was getting himself into. Zero was in a lot of turmoil about himself and their relationship. Didn't he see that? If anything he needed space to decide but knowing Kaname she knew he'd never give it to him. Shizuka sighed and shook her head, unable to shake the feeling of impending disaster.

 

 

to be continued


	19. Regrets

Regrets

 

 

 **DR. ROSENBERG** thought it was getting terribly crowded in here. Had Zero missed the fact that the more people that knew about his pregnancy, the more risky it was for all of them? “Dr. Rose” as he was now called, dabbed his brow again as he carefully manoeuvred the tiny lens around the dozing boy. He was feeling the fear of of spending the rest of his life in prison. Goodness knows who else she had “confided” in. Heaven help them...

 

Sizuka watched the screen in rapt concentration, unaware of the doctor's uncomfortable looks. This was “Dean”. This was their son. Her son. Ignoring the odd position of seemingly looking into his lap, his legs outstretched, for a moment, – that had to be uncomfortable, surely - he was just beginning to get a bit of fuzz on his head and his little hands was clenched into fists. They were probably disturbing him with the light, Shizuka thought, evidently prone to the same flights of fancy her husband was. He was beautiful, though. Perfect...

 

_I knew you would be. I knew you would be perfect. But we had to choose and the better option were the girls. They would be able to reproduce. Please understand. We had to choose...!_

 

“What...?! Kaname! What happened?”

 

“Don't move, Zero! The camera!” Dr. Rosenberg ordered irritably, as the man seemed ready to jump off the examination table to see where the woman went. He felt vindicated in his suspicions. The next time he'd insist on their staying outside.

 

“Don't worry about her, Zero. Try to stay calm...”

 

“She was crying, Kaname! Go check on her...”

 

“Soon. The doctor's almost finished...” He never wanted to miss a moment. This was more important than regrets...

 

“Please?”

 

Zero was trying to get up onto his hunches and the doctor was close to throwing him out anyway from the look on his face. Kaname decided some tact was needed here.

 

“Alright, Zero. Stay still. I'll go see what's the matter.”

 

“You do that. Zero, I swear if you don't stop squirming I will sedate you.” Dr. Rosenberg fumed, not sparing a look at the retreating CEO of GE, who did take a last look at his slumbering baby boy and left, not relishing the imminent conversation.

 

 

_**DAMMIT!** Pull yourself together! What is the point of bawling like this?_

 

Shizuka wiped her nose and dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief, raised her head from her hands... and promptly broke down again. She felt so guilty. She felt as though she had tried to throw away Stephen and Dean. It was ludicrous of course. They had had to make a decision. Implanting them all would have risked both mother and child and the girls made sense as there were enough people on the planet unable to bear children, but it didn't matter. As she had seen him there, sleeping, living, as she had been a part of their and their sisters' lives as they moved around in Zero's stomach impatiently over the last week, she had begun to wonder if she deserved this. Deserved to get this chance.   _They had chosen to leave it out, to discard it. The foetus that was found lacking. And it turned out to be two boys!_ Shizuka practically howled in misery, not realising the approach of her husband in the quiet pre-workday waiting room.

 

“What is this about? Zero nearly ran after you! Could you be any more irresponsible?!”

 

Shizuka covered her face with her hands and ignored him. Her mind was going over every single word of those discussions four years ago, trying to find where they could have erred in their decision. That would show her how selfish she had been. How callous. Show how she didn't deserve their forgiveness...

 

She was brought out of her obsessive mental tortures by the warm weight beside her and the arm that reached out to hold her, pulling her into a welcoming, strong chest. Kaname. Shizuka stiffened at first but then relaxed as she trusted his intention to comfort her, burying her face in the soft material of his suit. Perversely her tears fell even more freely at the acknowledgement of her shame, her guilt. Now he remembered as well. How weak she had been...

 

“I'm... sorry... I couldn't...” She eventually hiccoughed. Kaname leaned into her, holding her tightly, his own face, unseen by her in her hysterics, crumpling a little at her pain, the memories it invoked. He had known why she was upset. They had fought the doctors and among themselves, but the decision had to be made. He also knew that she blamed herself for being unable to carry the girls to term. He also knew this was due in no small part to his blaming her himself...

 

“I'm sorry too. I... shouldn't have spoken to you like that. And... for everything else...”

 

“He's beautiful, Kaname. Gorgeous...”

 

“Yes, he is. Just like his mother. Stephen looked the same way except he was sucking his thumb...”

 

“Oh no. That will ruin his teeth...”

 

“And he had a bit less hair on his head. They are all coming along strongly, without any real incidents. When I think of how hard it was for us, how afraid we were of the possibility of a multiple pregnancy...”

 

Kaname stopped as Shizuka pulled away from him and stood. He followed her, pulling her around to face him.

 

“I didn't mean anything by it, Shizuka. I was just marvelling at how simple it is for Zero.  It's like he was made for this...”

 

“Yes... But he's not, really. His pelvis isn't even wide enough to give birth naturally. Hell, he won't even _look_ at them...”

 

“It makes him ill. He keeps seeing parallels with this old film called 'Aliens'...”

 

“What! He would compare them to...!”

 

“No! It just... makes him queasy. Damn, Shizuka, are you going to quibble about such a small thing when he's actually...?!”

 

“I know. I'm sorry. It's just that _I'd_ wanted it so much. To go through what he is complaining about. I'm a woman, Kaname. I am made for this role. What is the use of all these maternal desires inside me if I can't fulfil them? If they only make me wish I had never been born?”

 

“Shizuka. Please. You are making me think that maybe I shouldn't allow...”

 

“No! I can handle it! I... I got emotional that's all. I almost never got to see any of my children. It overwhelmed me. You must understand that!”

 

“I do. But nothing must upset Zero, Shizuka. There is too much at stake.”

 

“Yes. I know. I'm sorry.”

 

“I know you are. Ah, Shizuka...”

 

Kaname pulled her into his arms as her face showed she was berating herself again. He held her tightly, reminded of the days after the miscarriages when this was all they could manage to do: cry and comfort the other. Until he had found a way to run away, that is. Kaname squeezed his eyes closed at the memory of the last one. The baby had been moving around, seemed safe and then...

 

“I had no intention of letting it die, Shizuka,” Kaname whispered hoarsely, his voice all but overwhelmed by emotion. “I knew what the doctors had said but I made sure it was kept until I found a way. I had no doubt I would find one. You don't have to feel guilty. We had only postponed their chance, that's all, until Zero could do it for us.”

 

“Yet, you were going to keep it from me!”

 

“No. I... I'd wanted to keep the pregnancy from you. Once they were born, safe, I would consider how to tell you. I wanted to protect Zero, I wanted to get divorced but... I also didn't want you to go through what we had before. I am even more convinced now. This has been murder on my nerves.  Each week seemed an enormous hurdle, hoping nothing would go wrong as they got that much closer...  And there was Zero himself. I don't know how many times he has threatened to leave. And there was the time he'd found out he was...”

 

Kaname stopped himself. What was wrong with him? He was about to confide in her that he forced Zero into this pregnancy. Like she was still his...

 

“What? Found out what?”

 

“That it was a quadruplets,” Kaname lied easily. “He nearly had a fit.”

 

Shizuka laughed reaching up to cup her husband's face. He was so near-sighted sometimes. It was a good thing he was adorable.

 

“Can you blame him? Honestly!”

 

“It has been rough. That's all I'd meant to say,” Kaname shot back defensively, feeling her old censure.

 

“I can imagine. Kaname,” Shizuka asked meeting his eyes, “What about the girls? Are they...?”

 

“ _They_ are Zero's and mine. He was inseminated as well. I didn't think it would work. The window was all but closed but I was desperate and now...”

 

“Here they are. This whole thing has been miraculous. Simply wonderful...!”

 

Shizuka broke down again and Kaname squeezed her until she quieted down. Her drenched handkerchief was tossed away by her attentive husband and a drier one pressed into her hands. She looked up at him gratefully and nodded her gratitude before blowing her nose.

 

“I want to see him again before we...”

 

Too late. The door opened and Zero came out, carefully avoiding the door-jam as he'd almost had to squeezed through. He was even bigger, if that was possible, the doctor recording another five pounds since last week. He thought again of going on a diet. A carrot stick every two hours and he'd definitely lose the fat on his hips, he was sure...

 

Zero paused, hesitating as he saw them together. They pushed apart self-consciously and Kaname immediately went to him, taking his hand and going to kiss him on the lips but Zero pretended to fix his clothing and it was aborted. One could see the muscle working in Kaname's jaw as he ground his teeth.

 

“Is Shizuka okay...?”

 

“I'm fine, Zero! I got a little maudlin at seeing the babies, that's all. Kaname would tell you, I've always been emotional!”

 

“How was it?” Kaname eventually asked.

 

“Everything is fine. Great.”

 

“...Come on," Kaname ordered, thinking better of exploring his mood here.  "Time to head upstairs. I'll make you a sausage wrap before I go to work.”

 

“Sounds good. Just hold the mayonnaise.”  He had to make a start somewhere...

 

“Zero. Are you going on a diet?” Kaname asked, his tone dangerous as he turned back to regard his stubborn paramour. He remembered the previous attempts and the stern lectures Zero had received from him and the doctor because of these foolhardy ventures. He was was eating for five, four of them trying to development fundamentally.

 

“No. I... It's five pounds this time, Kaname. And they've hardly grown...!”

 

“No dieting! Shizuka will record your meals and make sure you eat them. If I miss any I will strap you to the bed myself and _shove_ the tube down your throat. Do you understand me?”

 

“Perfectly.” Zero's eyes practically sparked as he met his lover's own irate one. _He behaves as if he owns me!_ Zero fumed, ready to disabuse him of that notion...

 

“Kaname's right, Zero. It's crucial that you don't do anything to stop them from getting what they need now. Besides, with all the breast-feeding you'll be doing it will melt right off.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. That and the gym. Promise.”

 

Zero nodded and got into the elevator. He missed the grateful looked that passed from Kaname to Shizuka and the tremulous smile in response. It was like old times, their remembering they'd once supported each other and had been the better for it. Shizuka thought, as she entered behind Kaname who'd already gone to Zero's side, slipping his arm around the rotund man in a proprietorial manner that he was not allowed to escape from, that even in the face of their love for each other she felt she still had a bond with her husband, and now thanks to their sons it will be one that will outlast even their marriage. Curiously, that knowledge buoyed her more than anything else he'd said up until that moment.

 

 

“ **HERE YOU GO.** Dripping with mayonnaise, just how you like them.”

 

“Thanks.” _He did that deliberately, the bastard._ Zero however immediately bit into one and sighed in contentment. He loved these things. Kaname sat down beside him on the bed and leaned in to steal one mayo-smeared kiss.

 

“Don't worry about your weight, Zero. It's not getting out of hand and you will be able to lose it later. Also,” Kaname's lips disappeared to nibble one earlobe, his tongue slipping inside soon afterwards. Zero shivered involuntarily. “I like your size. The bigger you get the more I want to fu...”

 

“Will you get out of here, you freak? I know you just want a repeat of last week but I have a headache.” Zero lied without remorse. You have to take Kaname firmly in hand or he'd really take advantage.

 

“That's a shame. I had one other idea on how to use this pregnancy pillow...”

 

“Go! Now!”

 

“Alright! Don't get excited, honey. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes anyway.” Kaname rose and fixed his suit before heading for the door. He turned back to look at Zero who was already polishing off one wrap. “It will be a couple of hours. But you can always reach me...”

 

“I know, Kaname. Don't worry. Shizuka's here anyway.”

 

“Yes...” Kaname lost his indulgent demeanour at the mention of her name. He turned to go.

 

“Wait. Kaname.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“What happened this morning?”

 

Kaname allowed himself a frown in irritation for a moment before turning around, his face carefully enigmatic.

 

“Nothing. She was overwhelmed by the miracle of birth,” Kaname dead-panned before turning away to leave again.

 

“I don't buy that. You've been barely civil to her for days and then she was in your arms, your handkerchief in her hand...”

 

“She needed comfort, Zero. Didn't you want me to check on her?” Kaname snapped.

 

“Yes. I did. But... Maybe it's all the secrets you've kept from me. Forgive me if I get a little suspicious...”

 

“There is nothing going on. Shizuka saw the babies and got teary. It was something she'd always wanted. Do I have to remind you that women cry when they're happy?”

 

“But there were tears in your eyes as well. You don't strike me as the emotional type.”

 

“Zero. Maybe it's none of your damned business...!”

 

“Good to know you still have secrets, Kaname. Just the reminder I need.”

 

Zero took up the other wrap and launched into it, effectively dismissing Kaname. He didn't leave, however. He seemed to be debating something. He came back to the bed to sit, taking his ever present i-assistant from his pocket and typing quickly before replacing it. Zero ignored him, looking in the other direction. It doesn't matter. He was a fool for falling for him anyway.

 

“What is it you are really trying to find out, Zero?” Kaname asked with some patience, leaning back enough to connect with Zero's stomach but not so hard as to squeeze it.

 

“Nothing. Just go to your damned meeting.”

 

“Now who's being emotional...?”

 

“What is the point?”

 

Kaname was momentarily distracted by a tiny limb hitting his back – he loved when that happened - but didn't miss the question. 

 

“You'll feel better after we've talked...”

 

“I mean: what is the point of us? It can't be just the sex, surely.”

 

“Zero. I'm not following.”

 

“I don't know much about you beyond how much you like children and vaginas...”

 

“Zero, dammit. You sound like a ...”

 

“Woman? Isn't that what you wanted me to be? Or have you changed you mind?”

 

“Is that what this is about? Your trying to show how female you can be?  You are certainly succeeding...”

 

“Oh, forget it. If you're going to be ridiculous...”

 

“Come on. Let's talk then. Man to man. What is this about?”

 

“This is about your saying we can be together and my not being able to figure out why beyond your need to secure an incubator...!”

 

“Not this again! Aren't we over this?  I love...!”

 

“So you say.  But you don't confide in me. Not like you do with her.”

 

Kaname ran his fingers into his hair and stood. He couldn't believe...

 

“You're jealous! You are actually jealous of her...!”

 

“No! I'm just saying I don't know you...!”

 

“You wanted her here! You knew she is married to me! How long she's been married to me...!”

 

“...And how much you trust her. Even now...!”

 

“God-dammit, Zero. I don't have time for this. If you feel threatened by her then ask her to leave. I don't care. Maybe it may work...”

 

“Why did you cry today? Can you tell me that?”

 

Kaname sighed. He stilled his agitated pacing, seemingly deep in thought. Then turned to Zero.

 

“No. No, I can't tell you. I love you. To distraction. But you can't have every part of me. You'll have to deal with that. I have to go.”

 

With that Kaname left the bedroom, leaving the stunned Zero in his wake.

 

 

“ **THIS IS SILLY.** I don't know how you talk me into these things.”

 

“Be quiet and give it a try. You sleep most of the day anyway.”

 

“Only because of this damned medication. It takes everything out of me.  But this is silly!  It looks like there's a giant bald man with headgear on lying on my stomach...”

 

Shizuka sighed and propped her chin in her hand, letting the e-pad drop to the door. She would resume reading later during Zero's many naps. Now, she would listen to the other activity he indulged in: complaining. Don't get her wrong. Even though it was annoying, especially in light of how many people – herself included – would kill to be where Zero was now, she did understand. He was used to being active, vain and independent and here he was, unable to move properly, unattractively overweight – he thought – and coping with previously dispensable, embarrassing female problems. If he was any less possessed of himself he'd be a wreck. Shizuka understood this and as such she listened. It was the least she could do. But damn, it was annoying...

 

“... I'm taking them off. Doctor Rose said they can't tell what's going on anyway.”

 

“But they _can_ hear it, Zero,” Shizuka replied as soon as he drew breath. “The speakers and frequency have been designed to counteract the insulation of their environment. Tests show that if you expose them to this type of stimulation they learn better. Have higher I.Q.'s...”

 

“Do you really want Kaname's children to be any smarter? Dealing with one ass-hole is enough for me.”

 

Shizuka swept her hair back from its inadvertent cascade over her face and sighed. Oh yes. The spat. Not that she'd heard it. Only the aftermath. Kaname's ill-tempered departure then his terse request of her when Zero refused to answer his call. Zero's suspicious looks and cryptic answers until after lunch. Shizuka's only explanation for the change in bahaviour was that the orange sponge cake and strawberry trifle had been a hit...

 

“The children will be adorable denizens of exemplary behaviour. They certainly won't be ass-holes.  Even Charlotte.”

 

“We'll see about that. Personally I would move a lot of this 'priceless' artwork into storage. The paint-ball fights, I predict, will be inevitable.”

 

Shizuka laughed at this, despite herself. Zero certainly had a turn of phrase and she loved the idea of the children playing and being happy. Every time she thought of them tearing around the apartment a smile came to her lips. She knew they would be spoiled. She would certainly be the one doing it.

 

Zero stopped his rant at the sound of her laughter. He smiled too, recalling his words, and leaned back in the chair. His stomach and the weird cup-like protrusions of the baby early-learning system – whatever that meant - obscured her body and part of her face but he still tried to see her, the delightful web of wrinkles at the corner of her eyes and the cute, pale freckled skin. Zero thought she was even more stunning without make-up, her imperfections somehow making her more precious. He began to fantasize again of having his old taut body back, of what he would do with it. He knew he wasn't a bad-looking man. Yuuki didn't know the half of how much of a hit he'd been at university. His colouring and handsome but delicate features made him seem frosty, unattainable, edgy. Dangerous. A certain look and some person – female mostly - would want to come over to unravel his mystery. Those were the days. Now he could only dream of how he would have seduced her: going to lift those dainty bare feet of hers up to slide beneath her legs, the gentle massage, the slow progress up to the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs, the meaningful eye contact as he let her feel his burgeoning interest for her before making his move on those soft lips...

 

“...Zero?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Zero started, lifting his leg self-consciously, thinking she could see the result of his thoughts through the soft material of his pyjamas – no there wasn't anything more manly he could wear that he wouldn't look ridiculous in and Kaname (the ass-hole) wasn't helping. Not that she really showed any interest beyond flirting a little. Still, some jeans and a sweater and he would feel better about having an attractive woman around...

 

“You didn't hear me? Never mind then...”

 

“I'm sorry! What did you say? Come on, out with it,” Zero prompted as she shook her head in refusal. What else was there to do all day? That is, in his condition...

 

“I was curious... about you and Kaname.”

 

“Oh.” No. No. No. No. “Isn't it time for a snack?”

 

“I mean... I know what he's like with me...”

 

“I am not discussing that with you.”

 

“What? Why? Is it because I'm his wife?”

 

“The reasons are myriad and numerous. How about hamburgers? I'll make them...”

 

“What? No...! Zero! Don't run away! I was just...!”

 

He knew what she was “just” doing. Starting a conversation about sex with Kaname. What did she want to do? Compare notes? What was it with women? Did they need to bring up everything in embarrassing detail?  _Didn't she notice that the last thing he was thinking about was sex with Kaname?_ God, he was out of practice...

 

“Do you want cheese on yours?” Zero asked as she joined him in the kitchen. She will take the hint. She _will_...

 

“Why are you so uncomfortable? You don't let him touch you when there are witnesses. You don't like to talk about your relationship. Yet it is obvious you both have one. Are you still in the closet?”

 

“I wasn't aware I was in one.”

 

“Trust me, you are. That or denial. Can't you see? That's a part of why you don't trust your feelings. You are ashamed of them.”

 

“Well done, Doctor Freud. Any more stunning revelations?”

 

“But you don't have to be! There is nothing wrong with being gay!  Maybe I should introduce you to some of my friends!  What you need is the exposure.  The experience!  You've been conditioned to think one way but when you see how easy it is to let go and take what you want..." 

 

“And you are so sure that's what I want?  But then, why would you be any different to the rest of them?”  Telling him what he should do, feel.  He was tired of this.  Fed up...

 

“Zero.  Be serious!  Well, look at you...! Maybe it's not being gay, then? You _are_ partly female. Maybe if you embraced that side of you, you'll feel better about wanting men...!”

 

Shizuka broke off her treatise and yelped as the plate and hamburger crashed into the wall opposite her. She was so distracted by the display of violence that she didn't notice she was going to be pinned to the wall until it was too late. She had a chance to see a pair of furious, grey eyes before a mouth was crushed to her own, the lips working hers more in punishment than anything else. She punched his shoulders, forgetting herself, the circumstances, in her alarm, pushing as hard as she could. But he was too strong, his right hand looped into her long hair, his huge stomach wedging her in, effectively immobilising her. It seemed to last forever but it had only been seconds. Seconds before he finally pulled away and looked at her. She was angry. Ready to kill him. How dare he assault her like that! But then she was drawn into the look... It was fury but... the dilated stare, the flushed cheeks. He was aroused by her. And not only that. He was unrepentant. Defiant. It was only when Shizuka's eyes registered her realisation, recognised  _him_ , did he turn and storm away to his room, leaving her with the forceful reminder - the warning - that despite appearances, he was also very much... male.

 

to be continued


	20. What's Good for the Soul

What's Good for the Soul

 

 ** SHIZUKA'S ** mind was racing. Many things were shooting through her head.

 

For instance: how could he do that to her?!! She was furious! She felt violated! Did she have to fear for her safety? Should she leave? How could he  _ do _ that to her...?

 

Then: it wasn't that bad, was it? He certainly knew what he was doing... But briefly, you understand, as it wasn't the point.

 

But next was: how weird was that? The way his huge stomach had pinned her. Her children were in there and yet it was a _man_ kissing her. Of sorts... Damn, this was crazy. But kind of hot in a way...

 

Oh no. It was happening again. _Alright, focus Shizuka!_

 

She shook her head as she returned to the crux of the matter. Eventually. Here “he” was. He. A “man” with an obvious attraction for the opposite sex. For her. Never mind the extra equipment. And she was going on like an idiot as if she had any idea what she was talking about.

 

She was beginning to feel a certain sense of contrition, even if she had been the one attacked. She had approached this all wrong but how was she to know? He was heavily pregnant and was sleeping with Kaname. Sure, they had flirted a little bit but that didn't mean anything. He could still be batting  _ that _ way. But it seems its not that simple. She needed to find out how he felt first. She needed to get to know him. Shizuka pursed her lips as she decided to take matters in hand. He shouldn't be upset and there was no reason to be. She'd made a mistake. She was going to fix it...

 

_BEEP BEEP_

 

_“Incoming call from Mr. Kuran, Mrs. Kuran.”_

 

Shizuka, having turned to pursue Zero to his bedroom, visibly winced before turning to the Visi-Screen in the kitchen. She had time to notice it had barely escaped the onslaught of “beef” patty and “cheese” before receiving the call.

 

“What the devil is going on there?”

 

“Kaname, relax. It was just a misunderstanding...”

 

“A what? Did you two fight?”

 

Fight? Well, she wouldn't call it that...

 

“I didn't mean to insult him but I thought, given the way you two were...”

 

“God-dammit, Shizuka! You have to stop him now! I don't care what you have to do! Apologise! Grovel! Leave! But he shouldn't be lifting weights in his condition!”

 

Lifting...?

 

“He's what?” Had her husband gone batty? For surely the alternative was impossible. Maybe they had a bad connection.

 

“He's in the gym room lifting heavy objects, Shizuka! Go get him! I'm at the project in the Amazon or I'd do it mys...!”

 

Shizuka had already turned the corner, leaving her husband to his diatribe. Never mind how he knew. Shizuka wasn't naive enough to think that Kaname didn't keep tabs on the expectant 'mother'. Fortunately it seemed that was all he had been privy to. But she had other concerns. Like an obviously crazy, precariously pregnant person lifting weights in the gym room. Fucking moron! Was he insane?

 

 

 

 ** ZERO ** had done a series of ten bench presses when he decided to take a breather. He pushed it back into the safe zone as he took some deep breaths, taking oxygen to his tired muscles. He was woefully out of condition. Normally he could finish one hundred repetitions of a hundred and fifty pounds before he took a break. Now he was struggling with getting to ten. This damned pregnancy was ruining his body, bit by bit. Taking him over. It seemed as though he was losing everything he cared about. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand it any more...

 

“ _Zero! Open this door!”_

 

The look of despair on Zero's face became one of fierce determination as he looked toward the door. He'd barred it. Barred the whole lot of them out. He wanted to be alone, dammit! Go to hell!

 

“ _Zero!”_

 

Zero wiped his face with a towel and reached up for the handle on the machine again. The bench press was his usual routine for clearing his head. It normally took some of the destructive impulse away that came with dealing with the usual grind at GE. It was either this or shoot someone, even if this came a distant and paltry second.

 

Zero flinched as sparks flew from the console to his left, the sizzle of fried circuitry assaulting his ears. His hands left the handle to cover his face but the weight never descended to crush his neck. The safety mechanism kicked in when it descended more than two inches at the acceleration of gravity. It froze above his head just before ascending to the safety zone until the user was ready again...

 

“What the fuck?! Are you out of your mind?!”

 

Zero raised one hand to the handle and pulled himself into a sitting position just as a certain platinum blonde wielding a metallic lamp-stand marched into the room. She didn't wait until Zero recovered himself before dealing him a vicious slap to the face. He was almost too stunned to save himself from the repeat but not quite. Shizuka soon found herself, after a brief struggle, divested of her lamp and without the full range of motion of her limbs. That's when she decided she wasn't too angry to speak.

 

“You're the insane one! What the hell are you doing? Lifting weights!? LIFTING WEIGHTS!?! You asshole...!!!”

 

“Will you calm down...?”

 

“I will NOT!! Do you have any idea what's at stake here, you _idiot_?! Let me go!!”

 

“Only if you'll stop hitting me!” Zero growled, grimacing as an elbow dug into the side of his stomach.

 

“I will promise no such thing...! Good GOD!! That's fucking one hundred twenty pounds!” Shizuka shrieked, getting an eye on the gauge as she twisted. “Are you completely crazy? How could you even think of doing this in your condition? Maybe you are right! Maybe you are a stupid, thoughtless _man_!”

 

Shizuka's struggling reached a head and Zero finally released her, but pushing her a little to avoid an elbow to the jaw. She ended up on the padded floor of the gym, however, without serious injury, except to her dignity as she briefly upended. She twisted around agilely and straightened her robe as Zero stood and waddled away to put some distance between them.

 

“Glad to know you finally noticed. Now will you leave? I want to be alone.”

 

“I'm not going anywhere! What are you trying to do? Induce labour?!”

 

“Why not? There are babies in WGB Reproduction Program incubators right this minute that are half the age of these kids. Maybe I'm ready for this to finally be over! God knows I'm sick and tired of this entire situation...!”

 

Shizuka took a deep breath and turned away to compose herself. She should have offered an olive branch but had hurled abuse instead. She needed to stay calm and reasonable now, forget that she thought he was being a selfish egotistical immature jerk!

 

“Zero. I'm sorry if I'd offended you earlier. I'd only wanted to help you to accept...”

 

“Accept what? That I'm really a woman? What would you know about it, anyway? You barge in here and start analysing me as if you know anything about me! Or this entire fucked-up situation!”

 

“I didn't mean anything by it. I hadn't realised it was so complicated...”

 

“That's the funny part. It's not complicated at all! I know what I want to be. I know what I want to do but everyone else seems to have other ideas on what is best for me! Well, it's fucking me up! Eight months ago there would never have been any question. Eight months ago if I had come up to you I would have had no trouble at all getting your call address...!”

 

“Oh, don't be so sure...” Shizuka scoffed, raising her hands to signify that he was way off. Really the ego on this kid!

 

“Oh, I am that sure,” Zero shot back, turning to meet her eyes. “Now look at me! You're not even sure how to relate to me...!”

 

“Zero, I'm sorry. I didn't understand. I am still trying to. But I certainly know that you shouldn't upset yourself or do anything foolish. If they come now it won't solve your problem. We'll merely have four premature, fussy infants to worry about instead.”

 

“Oh God, that's right! That's right!! I'll never be free. My life is over! I'm barely into my twenties and I have _four_ children! What the hell do I say when I bring a date home?”

 

“That's what you're worried about?! Dating!?”

 

“...If only I had known. If I had I wouldn't have...”

 

“What? Wouldn't have what? Gone through with it? Are you saying you had no idea what you were getting yourself into?”

 

“Nothing. Forget it. I'm just out of my mind that's all...” Zero retreated, turning away again. He wanted to say it. He wanted to say it all. He could see it on her face. She thought he was being selfish and immature. If only she knew...

 

“No! I won't forget it!! What are you saying? Tell me, what did you expect when you agreed to get pregnant? What rosy picture shot through your mind?! Come on, face me like a man and enlighten me!”

 

Agreed? Zero walked away from her. He would say too much. He could feel his anger building and he knew he would lose it. It was best to just go. He tried to do that when he felt her hand on his arm. It certainly wasn't hard to catch up to him, the way he was lumbering around.

 

“I'm not through! What did you think would happen? Answer me!”

 

Shizuka began to swat at him again and Zero decided he'd had enough of being prudent. He grabbed her arms and made her look at him.

 

“All I meant to say was that if I had understood fully I would have chosen differently. If I had known I would lose myself forever I wouldn't have kept them. But at the time when I could still have saved myself, I was misguided enough to think about how they were alive and counting on me and I didn't go through with it...”

 

“Go through with... aborting them...?” Shizuka turned white. He'd almost... killed them? Zero noticed and scented the kill. _That_ took some of the air out of her high and mighty sails. He wondered if she could handle the rest.

 

“I know you think I'm being selfish. You all do. But I'd never asked for this! Eight months ago I knew where I was headed. I knew what I wanted. I knew who I was! I wasn't completely happy but it was _my_ life and then it ended. Just like that! In the time it took to kidnap me and... _violate_ me. Now I feel trapped and despite anything any of you say about how _wonderful_ this is I still feel as though I have a right to feel wronged. To feel trapped. To _hate_ what has happened to me and to fight it. Even now... even now I've compounded the idiocy by falling for that son-of-a-bitch!”

 

“You mean... you were forced...!?”

 

Shizuka covered her mouth. She felt it. The knowledge that she'd hit on the truth. Zero's eyes were locked to her own stricken ones, almost enjoying finally letting her see... but soon realised what he had done. He thrust her away and looked around to anything but her stricken face.

 

“So now you know. Now you know the half of it,” Zero whispered. He should feel regret at exposing such a vulnerable secret but he didn't. He hadn't been able to tell his family, hadn't been able to confide in anyone but Kaname and the doctor, who were less than sympathetic for their own reasons. All he'd heard for months was how lucky he was. Then why didn't he feel that way? Why did he have to fight so hard to convince himself and feel happy?

 

Shizuka walked over to the exercise machine and sat down. She eventually leaned over, holding her face in her hands. That bastard. How could she have thought that he had a heart? Poor Zero. Kaname had found him and had made him do this. Carry their children. She'd had an idea that their love had come after the pregnancy, but this? And here she was preaching to him. They were desperate. They were all desperate. But like this?

 

“I'm sorry, Zero. I didn't know...”

 

“Of course you didn't. Even Dr. Rose doesn't know. He just thinks I had been... attacked by a person unknown.”

 

“Attacked...!”

 

“I was kidnapped and inseminated. At the time I didn't even know that I _could_ get pregnant...”

 

“Ooooohhh. That fucking bastard...”  Shizuka's face ended up in her palms as she hunched over, unable to face the world at this point.

 

“Yeah. He'd had it all planned. Right down to offering me a job as his assistant to keep an eye on me. He didn't figure on my wanting to keep them, though. He thought I would just sell them to him.”

 

Shizuka groaned again, thinking that the floor should open up and swallow her. Her sons were inside him, thriving, but by the most horrifying of methods. She was ashamed. She hated how it had happened, hated what Kaname had done but she was still glad it happened. Did that make her just as despicable too...?

 

Shizuka looked up as she felt a warm hand on her own. She looked away quickly as she connected with sad grey eyes looking into her own.

 

“I'm sorry. So sorry...”

 

“It's not your fault. Stop apologising.”

 

“I thought he'd paid you. I was so angry just now because you should have known what you were getting into. You had no right to complain if you'd taken the damned money. But this...”

 

“It's strange. I thought I was over feeling like this but the way you were trying to slot me into this mold I had no business being in just... rubbed me the wrong way... I hate feeling impotent.”

 

“How... How did he...?”

 

“It doesn't matter now. I'm okay really. I suppose I needed to tell someone, you know?”

 

“Did he hurt you?”

 

“I was unconscious the whole time. I woke up with a minor injury down there but mostly I felt...”

 

“...Dirty.”

 

“Yeah. And unsafe. Vulnerable. Impotent.”

 

“That motherfucking bastard...!”

 

“Yeah. You can say that. I prefer 'fatherfucking bastard', though.”

 

Shizuka looked up at Zero in astonishment but saw the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. She laughed as she realised what her insult had implied.

 

“You're nuts. I don't know how you can laugh. I would have killed him. With my bare hands.”

 

“I know. But by the time I'd found out I had few options and... I think I was on my way to falling for him. I understand why he did it, you know? I understand how lonely he is and how desperately he'd wanted this...”

 

“But it doesn't excuse what he did...”

 

“No. No it doesn't.”

 

The two stayed for a while looking at each other before Zero nodded and turned away. He may grow to regret this but for now... he felt vindicated. Up until now he'd been feeling such a horrible guilt about what he wanted for himself, how he resented this situation. Now someone finally understood, finally saw him and what he had been through, was going through, and not only the pregnancy. He was feeling an exhilaration that actually brought a smile to his lips. He felt as though... now that the tragedy had been acknowledged, he could finally choose. Rather than be forced, rather than do as he  _ should _ , he could  _ choose _ for himself, despite what had been taken from him, to recover from the ordeal and overcome it. With them. With his children...

 

“Zero, wait... I... Don't take this the wrong way. Please...”

 

“What is it?”

 

“You can leave them, you know. No one would blame you if you left them behind. If you need to move on with your life...”

 

“No! I couldn't...!”

 

“You could! You _could_. We will care for them if you need to. You are young. You deserve a chance at your own life, not someone else's! Not mine. Not Kaname's. In case you haven't noticed he's living his dream.”

 

“I know! But...”

 

“You deserve your own. You shouldn't let him trap you like this! All I'm saying is: we'll raise them as our own if you need to go.”

 

Zero looked into her eyes. He had been suspicious. After all she was his wife, she had been thwarting the divorce. He was sure she was using the opportunity to get rid of him after they were born. Leave them to raise their instant family. He had been about to get angry when he held her eyes as she spoke. Eyes that told him of her pain and shame at his having to go through with this. Eyes that communicated her need to salve his. He felt his anger giving way to some undefinable emotion as he walked back to her and took her into his arms. Or tried to. He eventually settled for a type of side-cuddle, the moment almost dying as Shizuka giggled at the awkwardness and tried to hug his stomach.

 

“You're huge!” She laughed, patting his enormous baby-bump.

 

“Yes. I've been trying to tell you that.”

 

“I like it. It looks good on you...”

 

“Really? You find me irresistible?” Zero tried his best for sexy.

 

“You know... Come to think of it...”

 

“Oh shut up. I'm going to get something to eat.” Zero mock-grumbled, as he gently, reluctantly separated from the hug and turned to leave. He thought they would be alright now. It was okay...

 

“I meant what I said, Zero.”

 

“I know. Maybe I'll take you up on it. But for right now... I think I want to stay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Zero knew he'd been right when she smiled. And he knew he liked her that much more.

 

 

“ **WHAT IS THIS?”**

 

“What does it look like?”

 

“A settlement. A signed settlement.” Kaname had that incredulous tone in his voice as if he was still digesting some miraculous event.

 

“Yes. The terms you will find are very fair. In the separate document - which I have kept away from my lawyer for obvious reasons - you will find what I think is a reasonable arrangement for access to the children. I worked it out with Zero over the last week. He wants me to live in, by the way, but I knew you wouldn't like that. I'll have to organise an apartment nearby but it's workable. I think we can be adults about this. Four babies are a handful and you don't have many options...”

 

“I understand where you are coming from, Shizuka. You don't have to keep rehashing it. I think I like the terms. They seem reasonable. Only... I didn't expect that you would be this mature about it. The way you have been behaving so far...”

 

“I know. I'm sorry. I have been quite desperate about saving this marriage. But... I found out recently that I really don't want to be married to you any longer. Not even for the sake of the children. It is time to move on.”

 

“I see? I wonder what changed your mind?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“No... I guess not.” Kaname looked back to the settlement on his i-assistant, pretending to not be unsettled by the coldness in her tone. Sure he had been openly hostile toward her and was now getting what he wanted but... after they had cried in each other's arms last week at the doctor's office he had thought they could at least have become allies in this endeavour. She had always been a good fit for him: smart, practical, capable. But this whole week she had been distant and now...

 

“Give me some time to look it over with my lawyer.” _And to figure out what you're up to._

 

“Fine. I'm not going anywhere until after they are born anyway. Zero really shouldn't be alone and I did manage to clear my calendar for the next three months. However, after Zero's settled I'll move out and come over only when invited...”

 

“Shizuka. What is it? I can tell there is something wrong...”

 

“ _Don't let him know I told you, please? It'll only make things more complicated than they have to be. He ashamed of what he did. I... know he is.”_

 

Shizuka sighed. She had promised, although... she wasn't so sure that was was the case. Kaname certainly believed the ends justified the means. Who knew how much of their marriage had been love and how much an arrangement? Did he meet her by chance at that polo match or had he stolen her medical records as well? Had he known more than he was letting on when he'd persuaded her into trying to get pregnant? She didn't know. She didn't... want to know.

 

“It's not you. It's me. I've been hanging on to the past long enough. I realise the memories of what used to make me happy aren't the same as being happy. I want what you have with Zero and to raise our kids. And hanging on to a dead marriage is stopping me from doing that. I'll always be their mother no matter what you decide to do so... it's time to move on. My lawyer says everything will be finalised in three weeks if you sign that now. We'll be divorced before Zero delivers.”

 

“Yes...” What was wrong with him? It's what he wanted, wasn't it? He could finally marry Zero. He could finally move on as well... “Shizuka...”

 

“Yes?”

 

“...Nothing. I was just thinking that... there were a lot of those happy memories.”

 

Shizuka's eyes lost a little of their detachment as she saw her soon to be ex-husband smile wistfully at her and she looked away again, suddenly feeling very off-kilter. Maybe... Maybe it hadn't been that simple for him after all. Shizuka found she too was smiling.

 

“Yes. Yes there were.”

 

 ** KANAME ** came home thoroughly annoyed that he couldn't get away sooner. He couldn't wait for his plans to bear fruit so that he could finally be closer to home and available for the delivery. Shizuka was there but it wasn't the same. This situation was taking its toll on him, afraid as he was that he would miss the birth of his children. He actually felt fear as he actively searched the apartment for him. He wasn't in the living room, kitchen, bedroom... Kaname's fingers combed his hair anxiously. Where was he?

 

“Locate Zero.”

 

“ _Mr. Kiriyuu is in the guest room with Mrs. Kuran.”_

 

What? Why?

 

Kaname dropped his case onto the floor, having been too distracted to do so before, and headed for the guest room. Shizuka's room. Why was he in there?

 

Kaname pressed his hand to the door panel and entered without announcing himself. He was too single-minded on his goal – Zero – to care about manners. However the occupants were not in the least fazed by his intrusion.

 

“Hi, Kaname. How was your trip?”

 

Zero had asked this but it seemed a little half-hearted considering he didn't look in his direction but instead kept his eyes glued on the Visi-screen. They were watching a movie, Kaname gleaned, his eyes taking in their rapt attention of the goings-on onscreen as they lay on the bed cuddled familiarly: Shizuka's cheek on Zero's chest as he stroked her back absently, her visible arm thrown over his stomach and occasionally rubbing it just as he liked to do. But even as the situation seemed innocent Kaname still felt the need to remove Zero from it. Zero at least was fully clothed in his customary pyjamas, but she was in the briefest of olive slips, her long, slender legs cutting an inviting pale trail over the lavender silk of the bed covers. He was well acquainted with what those legs were capable of.

 

“Zero. Isn't it time for bed?”

 

“You go ahead. I want to finish this...”

 

“Aren't you tired? You need your rest...” Kaname insisted, as one of those legs tucked between Zero's as if for warmth. Zero rubbed her back again, acknowledging the contact.

 

“Shhh! Later. What did he say?” He asked Shizuka, his lips grazing her forehead as he slightly turned toward her.

 

“The fingerprint analysis was inconclusive.” Shizuka obliged, her hand going to a point on Zero's stomach that started to move around a bit. Kaname doubted she was following the movie at all closely, becoming inordinately irritated that she was making herself comfortable like this with Zero's stomach. That was _his_...!

 

“No shit...”

 

He was forgotten already. Kaname wasn't used to being easily dismissed. He felt a surge of anger that became entangled with the germ of a scheme. It blossomed as Shizuka shot a smug look in his direction, just before snuggling in a bit more. Kaname's eyes narrowed dangerously as he turned to leave, pulling at his tie as he began to undress for his shower. He had an idea what she was moving on to.

 

 

**“ WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?”**

 

“The Hunt for the Jade Scorpion,” Zero informed impatiently. “She's a deadly assassin that just took down the President of...”

 

Well, it was this point Kaname walked in front of the screen. All eyes divorced themselves from the screen and followed as he walked around the bed to the other side of Zero and sat, handing them the sandwiches he'd just made. But who could eat? Even Shizuka was impressed.

 

Kaname appeared oblivious to the stir he'd caused as took the last sandwich from the tray before placing it on the floor beside the bed, leaning way over. He then swung his legs onto the bed and settled in beside Zero, throwing one arm behind his head, one leg sliding between his lover's usurping Shizuka's more slender one. He bit into his sandwich, trying desperately to control his dimples...

 

“Kaname...” Shizuka began. Evidently he'd forgotten his clothing.

 

“Yes? I think I can catch up. It's been ages since I watched a film but its normally straight-forward. Any suspects?” Kaname turned to Zero as he asked this. His breath was hot on his ear.

 

“What?”

 

Zero came late to the discussion. He was still trying to recover from Kaname walking in here in the tiniest black cotton boxers, it seeming to be painted on to his bits and his firm rounded ass. The freshly showered scent and the heat of his practically naked, well-muscled body was ruining his concentration.

 

“I'd asked,” Kaname whispered, leaning in closer his lips brushing the delicate sensitive shell deliberately, “If there are... any suspects.”

 

Zero was trying, he really was, even through the caress of Kaname's toes on his inner thigh. His mouth opened to answer and fingers came from his right and plucked a piece off his sandwich to place it into his mouth. They lingered just a little too long before retreating to be sucked clean by their owner. Zero's eyes closed. No. He won't be so weak. Even if he was thinking of what else Kaname could have in his mouth instead of the movie.

 

“Oh for Pete's sake. Can't you leave him alone for an hour?” She was really disgusted. Were there no depths Kaname would stoop to? Besides it was obvious she was being rendered superfluous.

 

“Are you saying this is a private viewing?”

 

“I think you know what I'm saying, you insecure twat!”

 

“I am merely following the dress code in here. Zero doesn't have a problem with what I'm wearing, do you, Zero?”

 

“Shizuka, I... think I'll go to bed...”

 

“Oh brother...!”

 

“You see. I told you you must be tired...” Kaname spoke this last into Zero's neck, his forgotten sandwich was now propped on Zero's stomach as his hand got elsewhere...

 

“Yes...” Zero was becoming lost to the cause. That much was obvious. Shizuka raised herself, her breasts bunching a little from the effort. But when Zero was in danger of coming back from the edge, Kaname stuck his tongue into his ear. Zero gasped and closed his eyes again. Crisis averted. Zero soon turned and trapped that tongue...

 

“That's it! Out! Now! The both of you! Can't I watch a movie in peace?”

 

“Sorry, Shizuka.” Zero tried, suddenly remembering where he was. “Maybe tomorrow?”

 

“Yes, Shizuka. We could pick up were we left off.” Kaname grinned, helping Zero to his feet, all while shooting her a meaningful look. Shizuka flipped him the bird, fuming visibly. _Oh bite me, you twit!_

 

Of course, Shizuka's mood only darkened as she got a glimpse of Kaname burying his tongue in Zero's throat as the door closed behind them.

 

 

_“ **GOAL!!!”**_

 

“Yeah! YEAHHH!!! Take that! Hah!” Zero leapt from the chair. Actually, he pushed up onto his feet in an ungainly fashion and hopped around.

 

“Those Nazis! That was off-side...!”

 

“Give it up! Give it up!”

 

“Oh shut up and sit down. That referee was sleeping! You see? Clearly off-side! Check the replay on the cut screen! You can't possibly insist...!”

 

“Oh yes I can! Besides he was just on-side! Pay up, you sore loser!”

 

“Oh, alright. God-damn cheating bastards...” Shizuka fumed as she pulled her T-shirt over her head. She didn't wear a bra when she was simply lounging around at home so...

 

“Oh... nice...” Zero's appreciation of the view was evident.

 

“Do try not to excite yourself.” She didn't mean about the game.

 

“Too late. You know that makes us even,” Zero grinned, before gingerly easing back onto the couch. The only thing he had on were his Y-fronts. He'd been a tad regretful about the strip betting until his team had finally gotten into gear. Then he'd thought it was the best idea since the Blackberry. “The next goal should decide...”

 

Shizuka was crossing her fingers and staring at the screen as her team made an offensive play. She didn't see when Zero winced and frowned in puzzlement. It was only when he began to swear did she look around...

 

“What...? Oh God... Oh GOD...!!”

 

“Shizuka. I think...”

 

“Your water broke! That's your water! Oh my God! What the...?! He just took you off the medication this morning!! You're stable! You're due next week!”

 

“I know that! Don't you think I know... Oh... Fuck! Shizuka! Something's trying to come out! Call the doctor! Tell him to hurry!”

 

“Okay! Don't panic...”

 

“Don't panic!? You don't understand! They can't come out down there! It's not built for... Oh... no... _Fuck!!_ ” Zero broke off and began to pant. It was another contraction. Another contraction!! “I know that's Charlotte! The cunt's trying to kill me...!”

 

“Come back here and sit down. I'll get the doctor. Don't panic. This can take hours. He'll have them out in no time...”

 

“Dear God! UUNNNGGHHH!” Zero groaned as he sat in his easy chair. He leaned forward as another cramp hit.

 

“No!! Don't push! Wait until I get help! Oh God!”

 

Shizuka darted for the bedroom to get towels and the delivery kit all the while yelling for the Comp-assistant to call the doctor and Kaname, forgetting her state of undress. Zero, though, felt the need to add the following, quite urgently.

 

“HURRY! TELL THEM TO FUCKING HURRY!!”

 

to be continued


	21. Birth

Birth

 

 

 

 **SHIZUKA** ran into their bedroom. After getting the bag from the closet she headed straight into the bathroom to grab some towels. Kaname and the doctor would be here any minute to take him down to the doctor's office. At least she believed they would be as they'd left the doctor to his scheduled appointments not five hours ago and Kaname, she was sure, hadn't embarked on any lengthy trips in the last three weeks. Zero had actually mentioned this to her, including the fact that he was receiving some grief from his superiors for his irrational stance in insisting he not travel as much any more. They were spoiled by his past hands on approach, his usual accessibility. Now he was beginning to have a life – which he could tell no-one about – they were taken aback by his intransigence. Even Shizuka could see the toll it was taking on him. He was quieter than usual around her when he would waste no time pretending to be irritable or condescending. He probably had a lot on his mind but she suspected he was also deliberately keeping the peace with her because he knew that he may not be able to follow through with doing his share for his children as he had promised Zero. He may need her to be there after all. Which was fine. Shizuka had no intention of going anywhere for a long while.

 

She rushed back out of the bathroom, passing the bed and out the door. She looked back in excitement at the door at the end of the hall before running back to where she'd left Zero writhing in pain and fear. That had been the former gym. It was former because it was now the new nursery. Shizuka had insisted. When confronted with the ghastly situation of her not being to locate the nursery for the babies, Zero had mumbled something about their being small enough to fit anywhere – like a drawer or something – and Kaname had informed her that he did have cribs and he would set them up in his room when the time came – he not wanting to risk letting them out of his sight, no doubt. Shizuka vetoed the idea – she'd realised she had some power in this situation being the resident female, the conditioning of society and men that women should naturally be mothers working in her favour – and demanded they start working on a place to put the children, complete with a cute neutral colours and cheery theme and mobiles for the kids... At this point the men tuned out and left her to it. It wasn't long before Kaname came home and found that his gym had been packed up and the cradles were in the process of being assembled, the walls having been painted a “tasteful, restful sky magenta” - which just looked like she's accidentally dipped the brush in blue while trying to paint it pink. He'd been a upset at first that she hadn't consulted him and that Zero had been caught lifting the parts of the cradle without help but to her amazement he'd returned after his shower to help; bringing out the baby items he had in his closet to placed on the shelves she had bought and assisting Zero with the cradles – which proved to be a little more complicated than the younger engineer had first thought. Two hours later they arrived at a solution - Shizuka had offered to help at least ten times but no... - and they were finally set up. They celebrated with non-alcoholic “champagne”, even Kaname letting loose to hug her, treating her to rare show of his dimples. He had been really happy and... that still thrilled her.

 

It had been added to in the days following. Rugs to hide the tired grey, padded flooring, pictures of animals and flowers for the walls – nothing could be found or bought that was child themed so they had to adapt. Shizuka and Zero had even painted a mural although Kaname had come home and winced at it. Still, Shizuka thought, the place looked beautiful. There was lots of space for them. Each cradle was sound-proofed – although there were sensors for sound and movement that would be picked up by the Comp-assistant – temperature controlled and themed for the gender of the baby, and they were surrounded by a wonderful atmosphere. Shizuka had spent every day in there since, tweaking or simply in a mental rehearsal of what was to come. She was so happy as well. She was almost afraid to pinch herself in case... she woke up.

 

And now, they were coming! Shizuka made it back to where Zero was wheezing on the easy-chair, sitting in amniotic fluid and trying not to push.

 

“Where the hell are they?”

 

“They are coming, Zero. Try to relax...”

 

“Don't tell be to relax! It feels like a bowling ball is stuck in my ass!! Oh God, I want to die...”

 

“Panicking is not going to solve anything. Here. Put this robe on and let me take off those briefs...”

 

“No! I don't want her to see any daylight! She may head towards it...!”

 

“You idiot! How is she going to see something like that!”

 

“Oh God, it hurts! I want my mother. Call my mother!”

 

“Cancel that request!” Shizuka shouted as she heard the answering acknowledgement from the computer. “Shut up and listen. You will take off those briefs and put this on. Be a man about this, Zero! You're only in labour, that's all...”

 

“AAHHHH GODD!!” Zero screamed through another contraction. The handles of the chair creaked as Zero squeezed them, his face contorting and reddening at the same time. “Whose bright idea was it to have this happen to a human being?! What fucked up, son-of-a-bitch...!!”

 

“It was evolution. It made sense naturally. Just breath deeply, Zero. It will help. Come on, raise your hand. That's it...”

 

She eventually got his arms into the sleeves of his robe, and towels under his damp behind when she heard the door chime and there were footsteps in the hall.

 

“Dr. Rose is trying to clear the operating theatre. He wasn't expecting this so soon.” You could hear the disgust in Kaname's voice. He couldn't accept failure in anybody regardless of the circumstances. “He says to give him fifteen minutes...”

 

“Fifteen?! Oh God...!” Zero groaned. He _was_ going to die.

 

“Zero thinks Charlotte is trying to kill him.” Shizuka dead-panned, but you could see the amusement in her eyes. She felt just a little pleased, just a little vindicated. It was small-minded and petty in a way but...  men shouldn't be having kids, even half men. She had tried not to feel threatened or inadequate but it was still there, somewhere, eating at her. _This should be me! This was what I was born to do!_ _Yet...!_ Look how easy it had been for him. A part of her was indeed pleased to see that it wasn't going to be all smooth sailing. Not that she wanted him to be in pain or for their children to suffer but... it was important to how she felt about herself. _I would have been better for this! I wouldn't have cried like this! I know how to breathe, how to deal with this!_ Womankind was safe for the time being, she was sure. She took a deep satisfaction from it.

 

“She's not trying to kill you,” Kaname said, going to Zero's side and wrenching one tense hand from the beleaguered hand-rest, holding it in his own. “She only wants to come out. It must be cramped in there...”

 

“Kaname, you bastard! Stop reasoning with me and stop her! I can feel... I can feel that she'd stuck. My hips can't...” Zero lay back, a tear of frustration escaping. He was feeling his own inadequacy. What if she died because he was just posing as a woman? He shouldn't have done this. He should have brained Kaname with something heavy and ran.

 

“I know, Zero. We'll head down shortly. We don't have the equipment to do the operation up here.”

 

“I know that, Kaname. We've been through it but...”

 

“Zero! Zero, look at me,” Kaname ordered, leaning over him, making him meet his eyes. “Listen to her heart monitor, Zero. She's fine. They all are. Don't panic or they'll sense something wrong. Besides, you should know by now that I won't let anything happen to you or them. Trust me.”

 

“That's rich coming from you, you bastard... What the fuck...?!! What is she doing?!”

 

During the adorable moments above Shizuka had slipped on a pair of gloves from the birthing kit and had knelt between Zero's awkwardly spread legs. She was hardly noticed as she lifted his um, other paraphernalia and saw his um... Anyway, it was opened a bit. Shizuka stuck a couple fingers inside to determine how far along she was.

 

“She is there, Kaname! The cervix is opened a couple inches and I can feel her head!!”

 

“Is she for real! That's _my_ cunt...!”

 

“Zero, stay still. Where did you get the gloves...?”

 

“The bag over there. Put on some Sani-Gel or he'll get an infection. Bring the oxygen as well. It may help him. And he should take some antacid...”

 

Zero closed his eyes in shame as his nether regions became a tourist spot. He grabbed onto the oxygen mask and breathed, wishing he could evaporate. He popped a couple more of the little pink, strawberry flavoured capsules – he'd been left to his own devices in return for the more interesting show below – and tried not to begin to cry again...

 

“That's right! I can feel her head! But the pelvic bone is stopping her...”

 

“He mustn't push. She'll get a funny shaped head...”

 

“You're not pushing, are you Zero?”

 

“OOOH, BIITTEEHH MEEEFE!” Zero shouted through the mask.

 

“I wonder what's taking him so long?”

 

“He can't let anyone see him. He has to get rid of the staff. Close the office. I told him to set up up here but he wouldn't listen...”

 

At this point the door chimed and Kaname ordered the visitor on-screen. After ascertaining it was indeed the doctor his fingers left Zero's birth canal with an audible “pop” - much to Zero's chagrin – and he left to get him. He was soon back with the harried physician, pushing the wheelchair behind him.

 

“Zero, I'm sorry for the delay but I had to...”

 

“He knows!” Kaname snapped, pushing the chair next to where Zero was already levering himself to a seated position. “Let's just get him down to the room!”

 

“Are you okay to move, Zero?” Dr. Rosenberg asked, ignoring the bad-tempered CEO and going to Zero's side to help him.

 

“Yesss.” The oxygen was working a little, he thought but... “Do you have drugs?”

 

“Yes. Lots of them. As soon as we get you downstairs we'll put you out and do the operation. But we have to hurry.”

 

Shizuka darted back for the bag and followed the men. She looked down at her T-shirt and panties – she had managed to remember the shirt when she had come back into the room but nothing else – and decided not to let them out of her sight, not bothering to put anything else on. She didn't want to miss anything to do with the birth of her children!

 

 

“ **CHRIST!!** WHERE ARE THE FUCKING DRUGS!!”

 

Zero had already been helped onto the operating table when another contraction hit. He sat up and groaned as he raged at how slow everyone was, not noticing the other person in the room. The others did though...

 

“This is Mrs. Sayori Wakaba nee Rosenberg. My daughter. She is a surgeon over at Global Hospital. I will be assisting her.”

 

“A surgeon?” Shizuka felt better already.

 

“Pleased to meet you all. Can I ask you all to leave and scrub up? The anti-microbial mist can only do so much.”

 

“Certainly. Come on, Kaname,” Shizuka ordered, pulling at her husband. Kaname was looking at her a tad suspiciously. He hated surprises. But they were soon gone.

 

“Are you letting them back in?” Sayori asked her father as she pushed Zero back onto the table and administered a sedative in preparation for the anaesthesia.

 

“We could use the help. Besides, it's no use pissing _him_ off.

 

“I see you've been busy! Thank you!” Dr. Rosenberg was impressed with what she had already set up in the few minutes since the alert. The four tables for the babies were ready with sterile dressing, the instruments and antiseptic were on the trolley and the cauterising scalpel was already prepared. He hadn't even planned it that way. She'd been on a visit to his office when the alert came in. She'd noticed his distress and refused to leave. That's when he'd told her. He'd laughed when she'd had to sit down...

 

“ _That's impossible! That's amazing...! Why didn't you tell me? You can't do it alone!! I'll help!”_ That was his practical daughter. She wasn't Head of Surgery for nothing.

 

“It's nothing. Sh... Um... _He's_ almost completely under. He was really in a panic, poor thing.”

 

“Good. I'll go scrub up myself. Check them for any distress. I'll be right back.”

 

Sayori nodded and prepared to place the monitor onto the huge stomach. He was almost too big for the table, she thought as she checked his vitals and then the babies. She pulled off the dedicated monitors and placed hers onto his stomach checking each heartbeat. They were strong which was good, even the one that seemed to want to come out the old fashioned way. Sayori stuck her gloved fingers inside the small birth canal she was astonished to find – what had she expected? - and realised he or she was well under way but... Poor thing. He should have been in hospital...!

 

“What are you waiting for?”

 

Sayori glanced as the brown, worried stare, framed as it was by a sea of sterile white, as he came to stand next to her and shook her head. Nothing. Nothing at all. She placed some strips onto Zero's lower stomach and pulled without mercy, completely rendering the area hairless before pouring some anti-microbial gel onto it, rubbing it around. The brown stare redirected at Zero's face as she did this.

 

“Hand me those sheets over there. Now!” She ordered as he seemed to freeze. Kaname returned presently with them. She spread them over her patient's feet and chest, leaving his stomach uncovered.

 

“My father should be back soon but you can help meanwhile. Bring those tables closer. I'll begin to cut. You give me what I ask for without debate. When I get to their amniotic sacs be prepared for a lot of fluid. It may splash onto you. I'll need you to do mop up, _keeping track of all the pieces you use. Also,_ I'll need you to cut the umbilical cord. You place two clamps along it about a foot from the baby then cut in between with the scissors. That's all you will do for now. Got it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good.” His arrogance was firmly in place. She liked that. They fell harder that way.

 

Sayori grabbed the cauterising scalpel just as Shizuka came in. She looked ready to faint. _She's going to cut him...!_

 

“You! Go over to his head and monitor his breathing and heart-rate. If it drops, if he moves at all tell me.”

 

“Okay.” She was better than glad she could skip the blood and guts portion of the afternoon.

 

“Ready?” She asked no-one in particular before running the scalpel along Zero's stomach from navel to his pubic bone. Kaname's eyes nearly popped as he saw the skin part and the yellow-white globules and redness appeared. He swallowed pre-emptively.

 

“That's the subcutaneous layers of the skin. We're parting the stomach muscle now... Hand me the scissors. There...!”

 

“Okay!” Kaname handed her the long, sharp tool and tried to stay calm as she yanked apart Zero's muscle and skin before cutting away at this white, tough layer...

 

“Take the retractor and hold this back...”

 

“The what...?”

 

“The large, flat metal hook. Place it here. Good. That's her... his womb...”

 

It was purple and slimy. As he look on, as she again took the scalpel, it moved. That was where his children had been growing for the last nine months. It was almost anticlimatic but not quite.

 

“Okay! We're in! That's an amniotic sac. Prepare yourself...”

 

Kaname nearly backed away as a fountain of fluid spewed onto the sheets, the table, them both. Sayori impatiently gestured for the gauze as she reached inside and Shizuka ran forward and took it, beginning to dab. Soon... there was a head!!

 

“Oh my God...!” Shizuka cried. “Kaname!”

 

“It's a girl! Kaname, is it? The clamps?”

 

“Yes...” He was speechless! It was his daughter!! He had no idea which one but it didn't matter. He clamped the umbilical cord and cut it with a trembling hand. The doctor then turned and dropped the writhing bundle on a table, quickly clearing her nose and mouth.The tiny infant loosed a cry and grabbed at those annoying hands. Kaname couldn't move.

 

“Come here and rub her down then go back to Zero. Hurry.”

 

“Yes.” Shizuka replied as Sayori turned back to the task at hand. She reached inside and there was another surge of fluid before another baby appeared in her hand. She raised it again and Kaname forced himself into action, cutting the cord and pushing another trolley near her.

 

“It's a boy,” she said needlessly as she quickly cleared his nose and mouth as before. Kaname was gratified to see him trying to cry, his mouth open in a sort of angry protest he couldn't quite get out. He touched him gently as he rubbed him, Sayori already turning back to her patient. He finally gave a little squeak, kicking a little as he kept trying to voice his discomfort.

 

“Finally! What took you so long?”

 

“It was five minutes! You couldn't wait five minutes?”

 

“Here. Hold the retractor and get me more gauze. Here's another...”

 

Another boy. Brought into the world almost flying, the pressure of the amniotic sac bursting and the contracting uterus propelling him into the surgeon's hand. She raised him expectantly but this time her father took care of it, clamping and cutting. Kaname pulled another trolley closer and she placed him onto it. Again she did her checks and he too eventually cried at the affront of being foisted from a warm place to this one. Kaname was too happy. He wanted to hold them but...

 

“One more, Sayori.”

 

“I know. I feel her now.”

 

Zero's stomach was getting much flatter. But then, considering what had been inside of him there was no surprise there. Kaname was glad he was completely out. There was no way he would have been calm for this.

 

There wasn't much fluid with the last baby. Kaname guessed it was “Charlotte”. She was pulled from the opening without much fanfare, feet first. She was quiet. Limp.

 

“Is she alright?” he demanded, moving forward. Dr. Rosenberg held up his hand and took the child. He placed her on the table and began to clear her nose and mouth.

 

“She has a heart beat. She probably just needs a little help getting started.”

 

“What do you mean...?”

 

“Kaname come here and help me. I need a pan for the afterbirth. Kaname!!”

 

Kaname tried to focus on something other than the tragedy unfolding but wasn't all that successful. He balanced the pan on Zero's legs as the doctor reached in and pulled out the enormous, smelly apparatus called the placenta. Kaname almost forgot about Charlotte as he saw it.

 

“This was the children's life support,” she explained as she checked it over carefully. It all had to be there. Eventually she stuck her hand back inside Zero and felt around removing another bit. She then took some more gauze and wiped the area.

 

“Okay, time to close up. Hand me the first needle there inside those clamps.”

 

Kaname handed it to her as he looked back to where Charlotte was being worked on. He began to tremble, his grief taking him over. But Sayori hit him.

 

“Hold this open for me. Come on, I need your help.”

 

“Yes...” Kaname sniffed as he moved forward. He held whatever was placed into his hand as she sutured Zero's womb back up and then began on the wall of his stomach. He could see Shizuka watching the doctors, particularly the one with Charlotte. He began to blame himself. He should have made sure he was there. Made sure he had set up in his apartment as he'd wanted to do. Maybe he should have read up on caesareans. It couldn't be, not after all these months that...

 

“See? Nothing to worry about.”

 

Sayori winked at him as Kaname's eyes registered his relief. A thin wail could be heard behind him and the trolley sound as it was wheeled to the others.

 

“She was a little stubborn, that's all. Here, I'll take over.”

 

“I thought he was going to pass out...”

 

Kaname tuned out everything as he walked over to Charlotte. She had a little tube in her nose but she was like the others. Small, awake – though her eyes were squeezed shut – and annoyed. She lifted her little hand towards him as he approached and he stuck his finger into it, holding it gently. She burbled a little before kicking out again. She looked as bad-tempered as Zero when he was awaken from his sleep.

 

“Hey, Charlotte. It's okay. It's going to be okay...”

 

She opened her eyes and looked at him and Kaname saw... that she had grey eyes! Grey! Like...! Kaname looked around guiltily at Zero and then back to Charlotte, leaning towards her conspiratorially.

 

“Your eyes are just like your mother's. But don't tell him I called him that, okay?”

 

Kaname smiled as he looked down at her. He should. It was the best day of his life.

 

 

 **THEY ALL** came home in less than an hour. They couldn't stay in the doctor's office and the hospital was out of the question. But it was some time before the three parents were left to themselves. The doctors' excuse was that there were making sure everything was okay but really they were enjoying the babies. This didn't happen any more. New life like this. For far too long it had been only death or the fight against it. Now – and they couldn't believe it – they were sitting in a nursery, with a questionable mural – was that Cephalopoda? - cuddling small infants they'd been lucky enough to deliver. Zero was left to sleep off his ordeal as they talked with the other new “parents”, drank some real champagne Kaname had been hoarding for an occasion like this, and helped to give their first feeding. It was only when – three hours and forty minutes later – Kaname declared he wanted his apartment to himself did the doctors leave, reluctantly placing their bundles into their cribs, hugging the parents – they were an effusive family, it seemed – and left, vowing to return tomorrow. Kaname manually closed the door on them and walked back into the living room. He sat on the couch – the side without the damp spot – and looked off into space. What a day...

 

“Are you alright, Kaname?”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes. You.” Shizuka replied, coming to sit in a chair opposite him. The 'bots had tried to clean up but the damp spot was still on the carpet.

 

“Yes. I am perfectly happy. Perfectly.”

 

“I know. I can tell from your face. You look silly.”

 

“I feel silly. I can't believe it. They are here...”

 

“It's only going to get harder from here on.”

 

“I know but I don't care. I don't!”

 

Shizuka laughed as Kaname simply grinned. She'd wanted to do that for him. Her husband. But it wasn't to be... Still, here they were.

 

“When are you going to sign the settlement, Kaname?”

 

“What? You want to talk about that now?”

 

“Why are you stalling?”

 

“I'm not stalling. I've been busy.”

 

“Too busy to pressed the function for 'K. Kuran' and send it back?”

 

“I'm not ready yet, Shizuka. I need time. You've been stalling for years...!”

 

“Time? Time for what?”

 

“What is your hurry? What? You don't have anyone to move onto, do you?”

 

“That's not the point...”

 

“I think it is.” Kaname knew, knew that Zero saw her as his wife and was a bit jealous of her when he saw them together, no matter how innocent, and it divided the two of them a little. Just a little. The suspicion, her not being free. He didn't want to lose that. Not until he knew for certain that he had Zero and she didn't.

 

“God, you're such a prick.” Shizuka declared, standing to go back to the nursery.

 

“I thought you already knew that. I'll take the next feeding. You can take a nap if you want.”

 

“Fine,” She said as she disappeared down the hall. She was going to nap in there anyway. The rugs were soft and comfortable and... she didn't want to leave them yet. They were so small. So delicate. And hers!

 

Kaname sighed and leaned forward to get out of the chair. It was a bit of quiet before the storm and he wanted to relish it. He really needed to go back to the office and clear up a few things he had figuratively and literally dropped when Shizuka had called him but he didn't want to. Instead he turned left down the hall and found himself glancing in the open door of the nursery before turning back to his bedroom. Their bedroom. He opened the door and walked over to where Zero lay unconscious.

 

“How could miss everything? You slept through both their conception and birth. Who does that?”

 

But Kaname smiled and rounded the bed before getting in beside the snoring “mother”. He was finally able to put his arms right around him, he thought, as he did so, careful not to jog the dressing or the stitches. He stayed where he was and looked out onto the darkening sky through the window, enjoying this time together, the two lovers and parents. He was a father, he thought. A father of four. A father! Finally!

 

Kaname's silly grin returned to his face as his kissed Zero's cheek.

 

_Thank you._

 

 

 

 

 **ZERO BEGAN** to be aware of the pillow beneath his head and the tightness in his stomach. He moved a little to touch it, automatically, wondering what was wrong and found that he had an unobstructed path to his bits. What...?

 

Then...

 

“Ahh!”

 

“Charlotte! You scared mommy! Left go of his nose...”

 

“Charlotte?”

 

“Yes. She's hungry. I brought her for you to feed...”

 

“Feed?”

 

“Are you still groggy?”

 

“No. I... It's over?”

 

“Yes it's over. Could you get a tit out and roll onto your side? Careful of the stitches.”

 

Zero did as he was told. It was Kaname and a fussing baby and he figured it was safer to do so until he could function...

 

“They're all okay?” he finally asked after this gorgeous creature was affixed to his nipple and began to drink, and he had inspected her hands and toes. She was already in a tiny pink getup complete with a matching diaper and a ribbon on the one curl she had on her head. Zero suspected Shizuka's hand in this...

 

“Yes. Every one..."

 

"Are you sure?  Is she supposed to be this small?"

 

"She is a healthy six pounds, five ounces.  Dean's the heaviest at six pounds, seven ounces.  Emily's the smallest at six pounds three ounces."

 

"All that damned exercise.  Kaname, she can fit in one hand!  Are you sure they'll live...?"  Zero felt the edges of panic.  How can anything this tiny not get squashed accidentally or misplaced?!  He wished he'd eaten more during his pregnancy...

 

"Yes.  I'm sure.  We fed the others but Charlotte woke up just now. You were beginning to stir so I thought you'd want to meet her.”

 

“I do... I want to see them all!”

 

“Okay. But feed her first. I'll be back to help you. The doctor said you should walk around to avoid getting stiff and constipated. And you'll want something to eat. But pace yourself.”

 

“Okay. I am hungry... But not sausage wraps. Please. Anything but that.”

 

“I understand.” Kaname grinned, heading for the door. “I'll be right back.”

 

 

 

“ **HE'S NOT GOING** to like it when he wakes up.”

 

“Then have him sue me, daddy...”

 

“He wanted it removed. I told you to...”

 

“I couldn't. Not a healthy uterus. 'He'll' have to deal with it.”

 

“He'll only ask me later you know.”

 

“Don't you dare! Daddy, you can't!”

 

“I know. But it is his body.”

 

“The fuck! He can't be that selfish! Can he?”

 

“I'll handle it. Don't worry. I'll... handle it.”

 

 

To be continued

 

  _Almost there.  I know much of the story sounds like a ranty pro-life manifesto but it's not political.  I just think how life comes about is nigh on miraculous and I wanted to capture that in the story.  Maybe it needs tweaking so it is not so saccharine but the gist is there.  Until the next - and final? - chapter..._

_DP  
_

 

 


	22. Zero

Zero

 

 

“ **LOOK AT YOU!** I can tell you're going to be stunning. Your brothers and I will have to beat them off with a stick.”

 

Zero was getting over his initial disorientation and was now practically glowing with “fatherly” pride, cooing adoringly at his little girl – he didn't see why a small thing like giving birth to her should make him pretend otherwise, especially since he planned on denying it vehemently. He was looking forward to putting this entire “half-female” business behind him and moving on with HIS life. He'd done enough. Four children were a handful by anyone's standards even if they hadn't come all at once.

 

Zero grinned as he played with her little pink bootie-covered feet and let her trap his little finger in her tiny hand. She didn't open her eyes, merely tolerating the moderate distraction of someone touching her as she drank. Zero wasn't even self-conscious about it, thanks to Kaname. Nor was he nervous about her getting enough to drink. His chest leaked constantly and certainly Kaname had always had enough to... to...

 

Zero blushed at the association, as his lover's perverted predilection entered his mind. He'd always do it at odd times, even when he passed him in the hallway, but mostly just before or after they made love, in this same position: Zero on his side and Kaname sliding in between his arms, holding him tightly as Zero always protested, fought, and simply tucking in like he owned them, leaving Zero to close his eyes and pretend Kaname wasn't drinking from him like a human juice-box, ignoring the audible swallows after he got a mouthful, but not what he did to the nipple just before he'd switch to the other, rolling it gently with his teeth all while sliding his tongue heavily along the tip, not even stopping at Zero's inevitable intake of breath, his fingers digging painfully into his hair... Kaname could spend several minutes just like that, thoroughly contented, his excuse being that he was helping to remove it, make him comfortable, though Zero suspected he didn't need an excuse. Of course, it was only when he was speaking to Shizuka about breastfeeding – well, she had been speaking to him about it – did he find out that the more the milk was extracted the more it was produced. No wonder Zero was always damp. He suspected the bastard knew this as well...

 

“Charlotte” - he didn't think that would be her real name, since he'd pretty much named them on a whim to make an effort to humanise them and stamp down his own fears – spit out his nipple and scrunched up her face and Zero suspected she was done with it. He automatically thought of offering her the other, lifting her onto his chest as he slid further onto the bed, then rolling carefully onto his right side. He placed her again onto the bed and took out the other nipple... only to find that she was asleep. He poked her lips with the nipple just in case, but no. She was down for the count. Just like that. Zero relaxed back onto the bed, the infant in the crook of his arm and stared at the ceiling, his smile returning. He'd given her her first feeding and it had gone well. Piece of cake.

 

The door to the bedroom opened and Kaname appeared carrying a tray. He took a look at the dozing baby before placing the tray beside Zero and scooping her up carefully into his arms. He looked at her for a while then back at Zero.

 

“I guess I missed everything.”

 

“She's not one to mess around. I like that in a woman.”

 

Kaname made no reply to this, only turning to leave as Zero investigated what was on offer. His stomach tugged uncomfortably but not painfully. He decided to support it a bit more as he pushed himself into a sitting position next to the tray. He lifted the lid and by the time the aroma of cheesy quiche hit his nostrils he was already digging in. God, he was hungry. He did feel as if he hadn't eaten since this morning.

 

The door opened and closed again and Kaname was again beside him. Zero gave him a brief “thumbs up” sign while shovelling delicate buttery pastry into his mouth, uncaring as to how he looked. Kaname had seen far worst from him.

 

Kaname watched him eat for a while before going to kneel on the bed beside him. Zero ignored him, used to Kaname hovering nearby in some sort of anxious anticipation. But he didn't expect what happened next: the kiss, the enthusiastically wrestled for piece of quiche – with his tongue – then the long slow exploration afterwards. Zero was quite breathless when he was eventually allowed to take one.

 

“Would you like another piece?” Kaname asked huskily, popping the balance of Zero's meal into his mouth and going to kiss him again.

 

“No. Thank you,” Zero replied, turning away from the seeking mouth, preferring to give up his dish than go after it like that. Kaname didn't think any part of him was taboo, apparently, including semi-masticated food. He stabbed a piece of vegetable cube and chewed it in bitter disappointment, waiting for the appropriate moment to escape him and get seconds.

 

Kaname nuzzled Zero's throat, kissing the warm flesh that had been inadvertently offered to him when Zero turned away. He wanted to make love. He wanted to join with Zero so badly it hurt. He was deliriously happy and in awe of what had just occurred, what he was capable of. He wanted to share that happiness with Zero, bask in his lover's euphoria until it became painful. But he knew it wouldn't be possible for a while. Zero needed to recover. Still, his happiness and love boiled inside of him without an outlet, making him groan in frustration into his lover's neck. It didn't help that Zero was so calm. Normal. Dammit, there were four babies in the next room that had been born in the most miraculous manner and Zero just wanted to eat!? Was he not just as affected? Struck? Bowled over by the excitement of it all? Kaname groaned again as Zero shoved him away to reach some toast and Kaname got the idea to have a snack as well...

 

“Kaname!”

 

Zero reached between his legs and yanked the hand that had darted for his nether-region without so much as a by your leave. It was quite a struggle, especially as Kaname was reminded that Zero was without underwear and was already damp – probably from the kiss –, before Zero succeeded in pulling it away...

 

“You god-damned depraved son-of-a-bitch!”

 

“I was just...”

 

“What the hell?!”

 

“It's...!” _Blood?!_ “Zero! Are you okay?” Oh God, had he hurt him?

 

“Get the doctor, Kaname. Now!” He yelled before scooting of the bed to run to the bathroom. He was bleeding down there! Was he going to die from childbirth after all?

 

 

 **KANAME** stood as Dr. Rose exited and headed for the door. He seemed ready to simply leave without saying a word to them but then turned back and stalked over to where Shizuka was standing with Stephen in her arms, giving him his bottle. He whispered something to her before he did leave, not deigning to even meet Kaname's eyes. Kaname was close to panicked and didn't appreciate the snub.

 

“What?! What did he say? Is he okay?!”

 

“I think so. He just said that I should go speak to him...”

 

“You?! Why? What's going...?!”

 

Kaname simply stopped and marched down the hall. Rather that stay there worrying he'd go to the source. He needed to know he was okay. That's all that mattered now...

 

“Zero! What happened? Did he stop the bleeding?”

 

Kaname burst into the room to see Zero sitting on the bed, his face looking a similar shade of red to the doctor's. It was odd. He'd thought he'd be passed out from the blood or something. Instead he averted his eyes and looked tense as if he wanted to scream. Kaname approached slowly.

 

“Zero...?”

 

“I'm... going... to be fine, Kaname. Just leave it at that.”

 

“What? How? Is it stopped now? Was it the stitches? I'm sorry, Zero. I wasn't thinking...”

 

“Where's Shizuka?”

 

“Shizuka? She's feeding Stephen. Do you want something? I can get it for you...”

 

“I doubt it, Kaname. I doubt you've ever have to worry about such things or will ever have to. Just leave me alone.”

 

“Zero, please.”

 

Kaname came to sit beside him, going to hold him, to again apologise, when Zero pulled away and stood. It was then he saw the drying patch of blood behind him. In just the spot where he'd seen it many times before. It was like...

 

“ _Where's Shizuka?”_

 

Shizuka.

 

“Oh.”

 

He hadn't meant anything by it. He was relieved. He'd never felt more relieved than at that moment. His shoulders fell and he leaned forward to hold his head in his hands. They'd had him suffering outside for almost an hour and it was... What? Period blood?

 

“'Oh'. That's all you have to say?”

 

“What do you want me to say? Why didn't you just tell me? I was going crazy thinking I'd hurt you!”

 

“You have hurt me, Kaname. This is happening because of you!”

 

“Zero. Don't start that again. Please. Did you want a tampon? I know where Shizuka keeps them...” Kaname calmly rose to leave when Zero growled low and punched the wall. Kaname swore and ran over to him grabbing his hand. It was bloody, the skin broken. The doctor would probably have to come right back up here. Kaname dragged the crazy mother of his children over to the sink in the bathroom and washed his hand, examining the fingers.

 

“Have you lost your mind! It's not the end of the world...!”

 

“You had 'the tone'. You used the fucking 'tone' on me!”

 

“What tone, you moron!”

 

“The 'I'm dealing with a psycho menstrual woman' tone! You think _I_ haven't used it?”

 

“I was only going to get you a tampon, Zero...!”

 

“I don't want a fucking tampon! I don't even want a fucking uterus! You can take them and that tone and shove it!”

 

“Zero, be r...” Kaname was about to say “be reasonable” but was still in the “dealing with a psycho menstrual woman” mode and automatically didn't think the two would go together. He checked himself and Zero saw this and screamed.

 

“You bastard! You fucking...!”

 

“What's going on here? I can hear you two in the nursery!!”

 

“Zero just drove his hand into the wall...”

 

“I want to do more! I want to do much more! Do you know what he told me? Do you?! He said I would be having a fucking vag... Vag...”

 

“Vaginal.” Kaname and Shizuka said in unison.

 

“...Discharge for two to six weeks because of the birth. 'Your uterus is repairing itself' he said, cleaning and healing. As if it was normal! He even had the gall to say that it would be good practice for when... for when...”

 

“You begin to have periods.” Shizuka liked to be helpful.

 

“I said it didn't matter since I wanted it removed! Especially now I remembered it would leak inconveniently on the odd occasion and he said...!”

 

Zero paused at this point and yanked his hand away from Kaname only to try to drop him with it. Kaname saw it and ducked, expertly twisting to hold Zero from behind. Zero yelped at the sudden change in position more that anything and Kaname released him backing away, his hands up in apology. Zero ground his teeth and straightened, holding his stomach. He turned away from their faces and looked into the mirror. He saw his own face. The same masculine face he'd always had but now a little rounded from fat and water-retention. It was a lie. A big lie.

 

“He said he won't do it. He told me he'd sworn an oath to do no harm. He said there was nothing wrong with me. Nothing. He said I needed to deal with what I was, accept who I was before it was too late to appreciate it. He basically told me to grow up and left. Left!”

 

“Zero...”

 

“Doesn't what I want matter to anyone any more? Why should I accept this, huh? There is a reason women call it the curse...!”

 

“Zero!” Shizuka shouted, going to him, turning him to face her. “Having periods is not the end of the world! Women have been doing it for ages...!”

 

“Just goes to show how crazy you all are. Men would have found a way to stop it by now! And – you may have forgotten this – I AM NOT A GOD-DAMNED WOMAN!”

 

“Zero,” Shizuka continued calmly, realising he was just being hysterical. “Even so, there are other doctors. Other surgeons. If you calm down we can sort this out...!”

 

“But the doctor's right,” Kaname rejoined, hating where Shizuka was taking this conversation. “You should accept yourself. Why change? When this is you?”

 

“Shut up, Kaname! Haven't you done enough? If you had any decency you'd help him! You know doctors! You have the power to help him rather than stand there and trample on his feelings! He's done what you wanted, so help him be what he wants!”

 

“What he wants is to destroy something beautiful! What makes you think there would be no consequences, huh? What makes you so sure that it is for the best if you do? What I saw today, what you did... blew me away! And you did it so effortlessly, without even considering it. You were just sitting there eating as if you didn't realise the miracle you'd wrought. They're here because of you. They live and breathe because you gave birth to them from that same uterus you're cursing. I can't imagine why you can't see how wonderful this is, how wonderful you are. Just the way you are...!”

 

“Wonderful?! I am bleeding from an orifice that wasn't there nine months ago! I know what this is about. You couldn't love me otherwise, could you? That's why you don't want me to do it. You can't love me without it! You're in love with a woman and you can't accept the idea of my being a man. It can't be having children. You have four of them. It's you! You hate what I am!”

 

Kaname looked away, suddenly uncomfortable.

 

“You're wrong. I love you. It's just...”

 

“Prove it then, you bastard! Help me!”

 

Kaname froze. Stricken. Shell-shocked. He met their eyes: accusing, pleading. It was the last thing he wanted to do. Help him? Help him be something else? The past eight months flashed before him. Zero pregnant. Zero soft, responsive, inviting. Hot and devastating. Beautiful. How he related to him was as a female, albeit a very masculine looking one. He liked nothing better than to lose himself inside him, to be enveloped in the heat and scent of him. He liked it very much. And Zero knew it. Knew it. To ask this of him. To ask him to destroy what he loved. It was _cruel_.

 

But maybe this cruelty was what he deserved.

 

“Fine. I'll help. I'll go make... some calls...”

 

Shizuka sighed and turned to smile at Zero but Zero was still staring at Kaname even as the brunette had dropped his eyes from his and walked away by himself. Alone. He did know. He did know what it had taken for him to say it. And it was then Zero began to realise exactly what he wanted.

 

 

“ **KANAME!** Where's Dean!”

 

“I see him! Don't worry!”

 

Kaname disappeared beneath the surface of the pool and returned with the fighting, sputtering child.

 

“No! Daddy K! I was going for the record...!”

 

“I'm sorry, son. You're freaking out your mother. You know how excitable she is...”

 

“I heard that! Dean, how many times must I tell you to wait for one of your fathers when you do that?”

 

“But they're busy!”

 

“Dean...” Shizuka responded, her voice a wealth of warning and Dean backed off immediately.

 

“Yes, mommy.” He swam over to the side of the pool and pulled himself out gracefully going for a towel and a sandwich near where his mother was sunning. She held out her cheek for a kiss and the six-year-old leaned over and pressed his lips to it hard, making her giggle. She pulled him into her arms and tickled him, Dean almost losing his sandwich. She was fun, his mother. Just a bit of a drag...

 

“Stephen. You have to kick as well as stroke.”

 

“I'm trying, daddy.”

 

“C'mon. Emily's doing it.”

 

“She's leticly clined," Stephen elucidated quite seriously before sticking his face back into the water according to instruction.

 

“She's what...?”

 

“He means 'athletically inclined'. I may have mentioned it.”

 

“Really? Why would you tell your son something like that?” Zero demanded, thinking that wouldn't do anything for his son's motivation.

 

“Well, she is...”

 

“Daddy! I'm diving!”

 

“That's great, sweetheart!”

 

“Kaname, watch her!” Shizuka yelled, still holding her wriggling son, noticing Kaname was stealing a kiss from “Daddy Z” rather that look after Emily.

 

“I am!” Kaname yelled back, pushing away from where Zero was helping Stephen to swim to watch Emily dive. Zero looked over to where Charlotte floated on an inflatable bed, sunning. She was just a quiet child. Always had been. She was happiest with her head in the clouds. Still Zero checked on her.

 

“Charlie, are you okay?”

 

“Yes, daddy. It's nice here. We should stay.”

 

“I know. But your father has to work and he hates when he has to leave us...”

 

“I know.” Charlotte appeared to struggle with the conundrum until Zero helped her out of it.

 

“We can always come back. You'd like that?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“Fine. We'll try to come every month. How's that?”

 

“That is aseptable!” As opposed to _not_ acceptable. She was imitating Kaname during one of his tirades to his staff over the phone. Oddly the children merely found it amusing rather than upsetting. What wasn't amusing however were the words they took away from the exchanges, some of them quite colourful. This one their parents allowed them to keep but Kaname learned to take his calls in his room, much to their disappointment.

 

Charlotte grinned and fixed her floral broad-brimmed hat she'd insisted on wearing and returned to staring at the sky and Zero smiled as he again assisted Stephen's attempts at um... swimming. It _was_ lovely here. And the first time they'd dared to take the children from the apartment. But now they were old enough to control themselves and stay quiet when asked. Which was necessary in anything to do with clandestine activities, like smuggling small children out of the country. Zero knew he had been close to collapsing from the stress but Kaname had been so optimistic, had planned everything from the large boxes marked “Instruments” they were transported to and from the plane in, down to the clearance at the airports. It had been nerve-racking. But worth it. The children had gone crazy when they saw the house. When they realised they could play _outside!_

 

“Alright! It's time to go in for your naps!”

 

“Mom!!” came the unified groan which Kaname joined in. He spoiled them rotten but then he could afford to since he didn't have to deal with their eccentricities all day every day.

 

“Come on!  By the time I count to five you'd better be out of the pool! One!”

 

There was a mad scramble as Juri Kuran-Kiriyuu, better known as “Emily”, headed off the others, followed closely by Zero Jr. (Dean), Kaname Jr. (Stephen) and “Charlie” also known as Shizuka-Rose Kuran-Kiriyuu. Of course, as is always the case with these things it would be years before they understood what they figured were their names were actually just affectionate monikers their parents had no real reason for.

 

Shizuka followed the energetic brood inside according to the role she had taken for herself. She was the children's primary care-giver, having resigned her day job – despite the men's pleas otherwise – to do so. But really, what had they expected with the way things were? Little did they know how much she had wanted to do this. She readily traded in her national parks for extensive indoor gardens the children loved to play and help out in. She took not a little delight in this, teaching and nurturing them in this way, and even if the still Mrs. Kaname Kuran was exhausted at the end of the day and went to bed alone – except for the odd opportunistic child – she was contented.

 

Zero pulled himself out of the pool to follow them, knowing she would need help to wash them and settle them for bed. He too had assumed this role, knowing that between the three of them that Kaname had the most on his plate. Not that he didn't help. They'd seen their share of him coming home late and exhausted but apologising, guilty, hating himself for being unavailable, and taking whichever crying infant was in need of care. He wanted the life of the accessible, adoring father but his schedule didn't always allow it, especially if they wanted their safe, secure life in the penthouse to stay the way it was. There were times, he would admit, that Zero resented it. Times the darkness in his mind would remind him of how he was trapped into the constant care of four newborns, then toddlers, then hyperactive rug-rats, rather than pursue the career he had chosen for himself. The years seemed to stretch out before him sometimes and he did take it out on Kaname. Usually a culmination of too little sleep and too much stress. Kaname understood and tried to juggle Zero's needs as with everything else - sometimes letting him do some work on a project during his spare time or including him in a decision he had to make on various specifications.  Or simply doing whatever he could to make him happy.  But it had to come to a head and one day it did. Kaname's collapse informing them graphically of just how much he had to bear, that he wasn't invincible. After that it became necessary to take various roles and limit others. They all, even Zero, finally had to accept that.

 

But now, Kaname did follow them, scooping up Charlotte and racing with her on his shoulders toward the bathroom. He was on vacation, after all – that meant he took only necessary calls and reviewed daily reports after everyone was in bed. Still, it was less than he normally did. The girl squealed in delight as she gripped the slightly greying mane tightly, giggling as her other father was elbowed aside and she was deposited first into the tub, clapping as a Daddy Z eventually arrived with her brothers and sister and kicked Daddy K in the shin making him hop around comically. She helped herself to the bubble bath – strawberry shortcake, her favourite – but waited for her parents to turn on the water. It was another hour before they got to bed but by then they were so exhausted they didn't require the usual story. Their parents were all grateful for the small mercy.

 

 

 **“GOD, I NEVER GET USED TO THAT,”** Zero moaned as he dropped into a chair in their room, Shizuka having returned to the pool to get in some laps - where did she get the energy? It was his turn to shower and take a nap but he was not moving, his limbs refusing to work. Kaname came over to him and knelt in front of him, reaching out to caress his flat stomach thoughtfully. The caesarean scar was faded but still visible and the stretch marks were like puffy, dark veins. Aside from that he was back to “normal”. Except for the bit of stubborn fat on his chest and hips, which Kaname did his best to encourage...

 

“And here I was thinking of trying again.”

 

Kaname laughed as one of Zero's steely grey eyes popped open to stare at this crazy person.

 

“You try anything, Mr. Kuran, and I swear I will remove any capability you may have in that respect...”

 

“I was just kidding. But... don't you ever think about it?”

 

“No. Never. It took us twenty minutes to herd them all into the bath and you want more. Have you forgotten everything...?”

 

“No. That's why I want to. It's like a wonderful blur.  I loved your pregnant body and they were so adorable...”

 

“Really? The back pain and sleepless nights are seared into my brain.  And I obviously made a mistake letting you sleep simply because you had to work in the morning.  I bet you've no idea they all didn't wake up and sleep at the same time.  Nooo.  Besides, we made the decision to tell them that Shizuka was their natural mother. What are they going to think when I swell up and deliver...?”

 

“I was just thinking about it, that's all.”

 

“Good. Do that. I'm going to take a shower.”

 

“Why then?” Kaname asked, eventually rising to follow him into the en suite.

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why did you decide to keep it? I know you like having sex as much as I do but I'd always thought you had changed your mind so we could try again some day.”

 

“God no! If anything you made me changed my mind, Kaname.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes. How could I not? You'd looked like I'd ripped out your soul that day. Never saw a man so nuts about a bit of tail.  Made me think that maybe my being a bit feminine may not be so bad after all.  That... I should at least try to accept it.”

 

“Are you serious? But I told you that you could...”

 

“Yes, I know. But it was important to you and... I realised you were important to me. So I gave you that. You always look at me as if I were this precious thing you're lucky to have. How could I disappoint you?”

 

“So you denied yourself? Zero, I never wanted you to suffer. I was being selfish and insecure. I know that now. I was worried that you would change, that I wouldn't like what you became. I know I was wrong now.” Kaname thought of how wrong he really had been. Rather than be turned off by Zero's masculine body it became like a red flag to a bull. It actually excited him that beneath the suit, the gym sweats, the muscular, taut frame, there was a part of him that was feminine, hot, ready. His. The times Zero had been bent over some piece of gym equipment and fucked senseless were probably countless. True it was still tied in to Zero's female bits but maybe he could have adapted. Maybe he could have adapted to it not being there... Maybe. “You have every right to determine what happens to your body, no matter how I feel about it. Geez. No wonder you looked as if you wanted to kill me during those times of the month...”

 

“I did. Believe me, I did.  But I'm glad I tried.  I'm fine with it now.  With myself.  Can't you tell?”  Zero deliberately softened his voice just a little on this last and stepped backward to where Kaname stood close behind him.  He pressed his behind against the brunette's interested body, leaning back to nuzzle his ear lightly, softly, his left hand reaching back to take his lover's, bringing it up to cup his right breast, sighing into said ear as his body reacted to this touch.  Kaname made a gravelly noise in his throat as he enveloped him in his arms and squeezed Zero to him, responding enthusiastically.  Yes.  Yes, he could tell...

 

“You are the best, you know that?” Kaname mumbled into his neck, holding him tightly as he absorbed this admission.

 

“I know. But you aren't so bad yourself,” Zero returned, finally kissing his boyfriend-for-life-it-seemed on the lips before separating himself and opening the shower door.  He had come a long way to this point.  The old Zero would hardly recognise him but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

 

“So never? Not even when they are older?”

 

“God, you're relentless...!”  Zero growled as he almost lost his temper, the male side of him suddenly in evidence again.  Kaname wasn't in the least bit fazed.  He could handle both.

 

“You sound as if you didn't know that,”  Kaname deadpanned, folding his arms as if waiting for an answer.  Zero rolled his eyes and decided on another course of action before he was expertly negotiated into promising octuplets or something.

 

“Are you coming in?” Zero asked, bending way over as he peeled off his swimming briefs and wasn't in the least surprised when he felt hands on his hips, considering the view...

 

“Zero. Don't think... I don't know,” Kaname managed between kisses along Zero's lower back, his fingers trailing the inside of his thighs, up towards... “that you have succeeded in changing the subject.”

 

"Indeed," Zero sighed gratefully as Kaname's lips finally connected with _that_ part of him, only shifting just a little to close the shower door.

 

The END

 

Hope it wasn't too abrupt. Thanks to all of you who have commented! It really means a lot to have such encouragement! I don't know if you noticed but I answered through the story, making things clearer or shaping a chapter according to a suggestion. Thanks! Now to give my story on FF.net some attention...

 

DP

 


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